Hops and Box Office Flops

Find Me Guilty – We're Gagsters

In Find Me Guilty, Vin Diesel stars as "Fat" Jackie DiNorscio, one of several defendants in a federal racketeering trial. That trial was the longest Mafia trial in American history. That conceit is interesting in and of itself, but the fact that DiNorscio served as his own attorney really puts it over the top.
Using original court transcripts throughout, DiNorscio makes for a compelling movie character. And Diesel's portrayal of him is some of his finest work on film.
DiNorscio is charming and funny. His counterpart, Sean Kierney (in reality, Samuel Alito) played by  Linus Roache is the opposite. He's a brash, cocky prick that you really want DiNorscio to stick it to. Yes, the mobsters are the bad guys, but they are not bad guys.
The penultimate film of the great Sidney Lumet, it's a shame that Find Me Guilty didn't find a wider audience at the time of its release. Buy, hey, it's free to stream now, so what are you waiting for?
So, sit back, overrule any objections you have with a Tropical High Hazy IPA from Sweetwater Brewing, and don't rat! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla aren't gangsters. We're gagsters!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Sometimes the best defense. . . is a wiseguy! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Should Vin Diesel have taken on more serious roles like this one? (27:25)
The "I Love Yous Guys" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (59:58)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Objection! Flops with the Dan Aykroyd-helmed disaster Nothing But Trouble! (1:12:33)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Gotti – La Cosa Nostra

Gotti is the dramatic retelling of the rise and fall of one time New York Mafia kingpin John J. Gotti. Historically, mob stories have been excellent cinematic fodder. That is not the case here.
Produced by Junior Gotti, the son of the late head of the Gambino Crime Family, this film lacks a compelling narrative. And since it is told non-linearly, most of the proceedings are a jumbled mess.
Thus, for those unfamiliar with Gotti's journey to power and subsequent arrests, it is quite hard to follow.
Gotti is severely lacking in context, a fact driven home by its series of random conversations between the titular ne'er do well and his various associates. Those involved surely knew they had a stinker on their hands, making their decision to premiere it at the Cannes Film Festival all the more baffling.
Now, sit back, swear your allegiance to the pod by spilling a Breaking Bud IPA from Knee Deep Brewing Co., and search for those wiretaps! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are tampering with juries and earning our stripes in the streets!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – He showed the world who's boss! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Is Gotti truly worth of its 0% rating? (30:58)
The "The Boss is the Boss..." Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (48:10)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Objection! Flops with another mob movie Find Me Guilty! (1:01:16)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Land of the Lost – A Big Ol' Bladder of Hadrosaur Urine

Land of the Lost is the second reboot of a niche TV show from the 70s. With a far bigger budget and a cast of comedy all-stars—including Will Ferrell and Danny McBride—one would think the big screen version would elevate the odd source material.
Alas, it could not. Land of the Lost is an unfunny slog through a pseudo prehistoric parallel dimension. It is one filled with a vengeful T-Rex, horny lizard-like aliens, and a deluge of assorted, rifted junk.
Sandwiched in between all of that is a string of forced jokes, and Will Ferrell lazily attempting to play the hits and hallmarks of his career.
It's no wonder that critics lambasted it. Land of the Lost sits at 26% on Rotten Tomatoes. Audiences also chose to leave it stranded somewhere in time. It earned just $68.8 million worldwide. For lack of a better word, its box office fortunes were extinct.
Now, sit back, mask your scent with a Monarch Juicy IPA from High Grain Brewing Co., and find the tachyon amplifier! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are locating a portal between worlds in the Devil's Canyon Mystery Cave!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Experience a new dimension in adventure! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Did we find any of this ridiculous enterprise funny? (33:00)
The "Beware the Sleestak" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (52:56)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kick off Objection! Flops with the movie that showed the world who's boss, Gotti! (1:09:19)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Waterworld – Gills and Thrills

Waterworld was Kevin Costner’s massive swing at post-apocalyptic adventure. As the film’s gruff lead, the Mariner, Costner is essentially just a seafaring Mad Max, wandering the oceanic wasteland trying to survive.
If that sounds cool, then you’ll probably love it. And for the most part, it is pretty damn awesome. What made Waterworld such an easy target for critics and the public was its massive budget and oft rumored issues during production.
The budget did balloon and was indeed sizable. The rumors of on-set discord are more than likely true, but they shouldn’t detract from the film itself. Waterworld took an impossible premise and somehow made most of its ideas float.
Thus, despite earning just $264.2 million worldwide on an all-in budget of $235 million, it was hardly the catastrophe most made it out to be.
Plus, you get Dennis Hopper with an eye-patch, mutant sharks, a rad trimaran, jet ski fights, and a fish-man mutant as the hero! What’s not to love?
Now, sit back, purify your urine with a Big Wave from Kona, and remember: It's never to early to start smoking! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are scouring the bottom of the ocean for fresh dirt to trade!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Beyond the horizon lies the secret to a new beginning! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Does Waterworld deserve its reputation as one of cinema's great disasters? (49:45)
The "Dry Land is a Myth" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:08:59)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We conclude Adventurous Flops with one of the more misguided big screen reboots, Land of the Lost! (1:19:41)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins – The Anti-CURE for Boredom

Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins is based on The Destroyer series of pulp novels. Clearly inspired by James Bond, the character takes an American spin on the cloak and dagger antics of black ops.
Unlike Agent 007, though, Remo Williams—at least in his big screen incarnation—is not the most compelling character. And by modern sensibilities, it doesn't help that his trainer—an elderly Korean marital arts master named Chiun—is an assemblage of racist tropes. Oh, lest I forget, he's played by a white actor in bad makeup. Cue the wide eyes emoji.
Thus, despite being helmed by 60s/70s Bond staple Guy Hamilton, Remo Williams fails to capture the charm of those cinematic escapades. And on a budget of $40 million—which was quite high for 1985—it grossed just $14.4 million.
Cinematic universes are not born with those type of receipts.
Now, sit back, toast to your new identity with a Backyard Explorer IPA from Pizza Port Brewing Co., and remember to breathe! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are enforcing the 11th Commandment, "Thou shalt not get away with it"!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – It's going to take a dead man to save the country...from a death merchant's dream of destruction! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Would Remo Williams work as either a movie or show today? (27:14)
The "Blue Collar James Bond" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (39:25)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continued Adventurous Flops with one of the wettest and most notorious flops, Waterworld! (49:04)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Sahara – Tequila Jones

Sahara was meant to be the next big adventure franchise—an Indiana Jones for a new era. Its main character—Dirk Pitt played by Matthew McConaughey—was the lead in a series of novels by Clive Cussler.
The material was there to be mined, but the audience was not. Despite its inspiration, Sahara could not match the popularity of the novels.
Grossing just $119 million worldwide, it took quite the hit at the box office, especially since the cost of the film ballooned during production. The reasons for why those costs went off the rails are plentiful and detailed extensively in an old LA Times piece.
Its failure aside, there is some fun to be had. With exciting set pieces and that classic McConaughey charm, this should not have been the flop it was.
Now, sit back, quench your thirst for adventure with a Shiner Bock from the Spoetzl Brewery, and don't drink that well water! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are pulling a Panama to evade the fuzz!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Adventure has a new name ... Dirk Pitt! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Outside of die hard Clive Cussler fans (Bling Blake), who would want a sequel to this movie? (29:48)
The "USS Texas" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (49:20)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kickoff Adventurous Flops with the world's most handsome treasure seeker in Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins! (1:02:19)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Speed Racer – Go, Speed, Go!

Speed Racer, based on a popular Japanese Manga and cartoon from the 1960s, is a CGI explosion of high speed hijinks.
Directed by Lilly and Lana Wachowski, it embodies much of what made the series so beloved. That works to its benefit and detriment. For those unfamiliar with Speed Racer's inspiration, there is a barrier to entry. Essentially, this is an eccentric film based on an eccentric property.
And the sheer amount of colors and whizzing computer effects don't make Speed Racer any easier to digest. It is a live action cartoon, where almost everything thrown at you looks flat. It comes as no surprise then that this failed to recoup its $120 million budget, earning just $93.9 million.
Critics also largely dismissed it. Speed Racer sits at 42% on Rotten Tomatoes with 218 reviews. All that aside, though, this is a movie fans of the property seem to love, and, undeniably, there is a certain charm to the movie.
Now, sit back, put the pedal to the metal with a Busch Light, and watch out for that Chim Chim cake! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are high-stakes rally racing to take down corporate ne'er-do-wells!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Speed has no limits. In the world's fastest race, nothing can slow you down! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Is Speed Racer truly a cult classic? (27:15)
The "Get that Weak Shit Off My Track" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (50:11)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kickoff Adventurous Flops with the world's most handsome treasure seeker in Sahara! (1:02:37)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Alita: Battle Angel – Panzer Kunst!

Alita: Battle Angel, based on a popular Manga series, is a cyberpunk action film from Robert Rodriguez.
Full of CGI and over the top fisticuffs, Alita: Battle Angel is quite often visually dazzling. It truly feels like an anime come to life. Where it fails is its storytelling.
The titular Alita is not a particularly compelling character, and her romance with Hugo is even less interesting. Such a shortcoming generally doesn't matter all that much in an effects heavy movie, but Alita: Battle Angel leans into their budding romance. No amount of script doctoring could salvage their lack of chemistry.
That aside, this film garnered a legion of online hardcore fans. Though it may not be as awesome as they think, it is still worth watching for those unfamiliar with its inspiration, especially if you enjoy science fiction and rollerblading.
Now, sit back, celebrate your hunter warrior license with a Divot Lemonade and Iced Tea Ale from Sonder Brewing Co., and get ready to Motor Ball! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are stripping cyborgs for premium parts!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – A Warrior Rises. Discover a Bold New World and a Brave New Hero! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Should it finally happen, would we be down for a sequel? (48:56)
The "Champion's League" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (1:05:19)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We finish off Live Action Flops with a movie that didn't deserve the initial hate, Speed Racer! (1:20:57)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra – Send it to the Slaughter House

GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra is a somewhat successful live-action adaptation of the beloved GI Joe cartoon and toy line. It's a big, loud, dumb, and, at times, very fun action film.
Most of the adjectives above will come as no surprise for fans of Stephen Sommers–he of The Mummy and The Mummy Returns fame.
The DNA of what made those films such enjoyable adventure romps is here. Unfortunately, so is his penchant to go too far over the top. *Cough* Van Helsing.
What Sommers gets wrong in this, he basically butchers. Eschewing common series lore in favor Hollywood tropes, GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra loses some of the magic from the property, turning off longtime fans and general audiences in the process.
Despite there being internet murmurs that this movie, and Sommers' career prospects, deserved better, this one underperformed at the time of its release. It grossed just $302.5 million on a budget of $175. Critics also sent it the Slaughter House. It sits at 33% on Rotten Tomatoes with 169 reviews.
But, hey, there is a good time to be had here, as long as you don't think too hard about it.
So, sit back, get your nano-mites buzzing with a Weird Science Pale Ale from Paperback Brewing Co., and call us Commander! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are training in the Pit to take down Cobra's goons!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – When all else fails, they don't! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – What GI Joe character would we like to see most in a future film? (36:27)
The "Vow of Silence" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (48:30)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Live Action Flops with the internet's darling, Alita: Battle Angel! (55:35)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!