Hops and Box Office Flops

Clifford – Steffen Did It

Clifford centers on an obnoxious pre-teen who thrives on being an asshole. To that end, his entire goal in life is to get his uncle to take him to a dinosaur-themed amusement park.
When his Uncle Martin's life gets in the way, Clifford sets out to ruin him. Hilarity does not ensue. That's mainly because—and we probably buried the lede—the titular character is played by Martin Short.
He doesn't look 10, and he certainly doesn't act 10. This one is a slog, folks.
Now, sit back, get ready to roar with a Pseudo Sue from Toppling Goliath Brewing Co., and aim that laser at Larry! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are slipping Tabasco sauce into Capt. Cash's drink!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Uncle Martin is suffering from a little problem!
Lingering Questions – Why, Marty, just why? (21:13)
The "Dinosaur World" Trivia Challenge – The Thunderous Wizard challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (33:49)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We conclude Tubi Roulette with another terrible film we haven't decided on yet! (40:50)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

The Pest – Voodoo Mambo

The Pest is obnoxiously unfunny. Full of racist gags and manic energy, it is the epitome of the lawless ass 90s.
And, listen, this pod loves John Leguizamo. He's had a fantastic career. But he's going 110 in a 35 zone here and essentially none of it works.
We may not be rich Germans with an enthusiasm for hunting humans, but it's hard not to see their point with The Pest. After about 20 minutes of his schtick, death seems to be the only acceptable recourse.
Now, sit back, drown out the noise with The Poet from New Holland Brewing, and pass one stinky dinky ... ha, ha, ha! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are livin' life in Miami's Vice!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – The schemin'est, keenest scam artist!
Lingering Questions – Is this the new Shit Movie Champ? (33:07)
The "Ridica-licka-lous" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (54:38)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Tubi Roulette with another star-driven, 90s flop that is mostly devoid of humor, Clifford! (1:02:37)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Party Monster – Scrod-la-dah

Party Monster—we came, we partied, we killed!
Now, sit back, get club kid wasted with a Hazy Day Sue from Toppling Goliath Brewing Co., and put the hammer down! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are addicted to glamour!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Good. Evil. Fun!
Lingering Questions – Did anything about the movie capture the insanity of the true story well? (22:53)
The "I Pity the Pod" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (40:07)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Tubi Roulette with a 90s gem, The Pest! (52:36)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Expendables 2 – Biceps, Blood, and Bullets

Expendables 2 is the ideal sequel. Overflowing with testosterone, bulging veins, and well-timed quips, it fulfills the promise made by its predecessor — to bring back the mayhem and stars from yesteryear for a smorgasbord of insane action.
It's literally perfect. No notes. Watch it now, or rest in pieces!
So, sit back, get locked and loaded with a Capiche? from Paperback Brewing Co., and we now pronounce you man and knife! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are gearing up to take down the Sangs!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Back for war!
Lingering Questions – How does one hear about an opening with the Expendables? (28:53)
The "Lucky Ring Part Deux" Trivia Challenge – The Thunderous Wizard challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (46:57)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kickoff Tubi Roulette with Party Monster! (55:02)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Firewalker – Temu Indy

Firewalker, another of Chuck Norris' many collaborations with Cannon Films, is exactly what you'd expect from a low budget Indiana Jones ripoff.
The script is bad, the plot is ludicrous, and we never even get to see what the bad guy intends to do with his desired magical abilities.
Despite all that, Firewalker does have its charms—most of which lie heavily on the back of Louis Gossett Jr. Predictably, in a film with Norris as its lead, emotive acting is in short supply.
Without Gossett as his sidekick, Leo, and John Rhys-Davies doing a bizarre Foghorn Leghorn accent, this movie would've been quite the slog.
Now, sit back, perform the last rites with a Seeing Colors from Mad Tree Brewing, and be wary of El Coyote! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are scouring Mexico for ancient Aztec gold!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – A pair of down-and-out fortune hunters cash in on high adventure!
Lingering Questions – What exactly does the titular Firewalker do? (32:57)
The "Fruitcake" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (48:22)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We conclude our Hops and Kicking Jeans Flops series with Expendables 2! (59:40)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Sidekicks – Are We Men or Marvin Milquetoasts?

Sidekicks is essentially The Karate Kid with a giant dose of wish fulfillment. In it, Barry Gabrewski (played by the late Jonathan Brandis) spends his days daydreaming about busting skulls with his favorite action hero, Chuck Norris.
Of course, since this is a kid learns karate to better himself movie, he ultimately meets Norris, gets the girl, bests his bully, and overcomes the issues that have plagued him.
Along the way, we get some good old timey 90s racism and a handful of fantasies themed around Norris' filmography. 
Sidekicks isn't exactly high art, but it will remind you that Norris generally just plays himself, as he does here, and the key to life is learning how to dodge dumplings.
Now, sit back, douse those bricks with a Pupil IPA from Societe Brewing, and chase those dreams! The Thunderous Wizard and Bling Blake are donning our dusters and mullets to kick some mafia ass!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Barry Gabrewski is about to learn that the greatest weapon you possess is self-control!
Lingering Questions – Who's our ideal action movie partner? (26:02)
The "Mr. Dumpling" Trivia Challenge – The Thunderous Wizard challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (46:28)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue our Hops and Kicking Jeans Flops series with Firewalker! (55:55)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Invasion USA – It's Time

Few things are more American than action movies where lone heroes murder foreigners with lethal impunity. Invasion USA proudly carries that torch. Only it does so poorly.
Like most films starring the bearded badass known as Carlos "Chuck" Norris, Invasion USA is a Cannon joint. Yes, that Cannon. The script sucks, it looks cheap, and it somehow makes less sense than most other films in the genre.
What it does do well, though, is depict all manor of patriotic fueled violence. So, come for the jean vest and dry quips but stay for the bazooka dismemberment.
Now, sit back, stretch out those legs with a Big Dippa from Reformation Brewery, and find that armadillo! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are dual-wielding uzis in our best Canadian tuxedos!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – America wasn't ready, but he was!
Lingering Questions – What was Chuck's finest kill? (31:44)
The "Everglades Airboat" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (43:15)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue our Hops and Kicking Jeans Flops series with Sidekicks! (56:27)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

For Your Consideration – Snubbed

For Your Consideration is another mockumentary from acclaimed satirist Christopher Guest. But unlike his previous efforts, this one failed to capture the hearts of longtime fans.
Taking aim at the absurdity of Hollywood, For Your Consideration fails to find the magic of his prior three films. The characters are less likable, the target is far larger, and the narrative focus just never finds its center.
Its reviews and tepid box office reception reflect that dip in quality. With a budget double that of A Mighty Wind's ($12 million), it grossed less than a third of that movie's total ($5.9 million).
Now, sit back, prep your Oscars speech while enjoying a Backyard Berry from Blake's, and go easy on the face lift! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are going home for Purim!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – A film about the movies, about the movies!
Lingering Questions – Why didn't this work better? (38:46)
The "Hollywood Now" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (51:35)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We begin our Hops and Kicking Jeans Flops series with Invasion USA! (1:03:10)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Argylle – Poor Henry

Argylle is a spy movie about mistaken identity that lacks a clear one itself.
Full of convoluted plot twists and set pieces overrun by pastels and other insane imagery, Argylle is a film that clearly thinks it is far better than it actually is.
One can forgive that self-assurance considering its director, Matthew Vaughn, has quite a track record of success—including in the genre.
That said, the irrational confidence Vaughn displays throughout Argylle's painful 140+-minute runtime is mind-boggling—as are its increasingly stupid double crosses.
Argylle, which was planned to be a trilogy, not only earned every bit of the hate critics heaped on it, it also deserved its massive flop status.
So, sit back, jog your memory with a Strawberry Blonde Ale from SanTan Brewing, and don't forget the cat! The Thunderous Wizard and Bling Blake are whirly birding all over Director Ritter's secret hideout!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – The greater the spy, the bigger the lie!
Lingering Questions – In a film that can't constrain itself, what scene was the most over-indulgent? (25:48)
The "Strangers on a Train" Trivia Challenge – The Thunderous Wizard challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (42:25)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We conclude our Catherine O'Hara series with another delightful Christopher Guest comedy, For Your Consideration! (53:45)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!