Hops and Box Office Flops

Toy Soldiers – Sex Crazed and Bootleg Vodka Strong

Toy Soldiers is the proof that Samwise Gamgee isn't just a stupid, fat Hobbit. He was once a dickish prep school kid, who played by his own rules.
Despite his poor behaviors and utter disrespect for authority, he's also capable of heroic feats.
That is the central concept behind Toy Soldiers—trust fund kids versus Colombian terrorists. Like all Die Hard-inspired films, we know how it will end—improbably and with a dose of good old American spirit!
Though it is now considered a cult classic, this isn't one of the finer clones of the 1988 classic that spawned the genre. Is it serviceable? Sure. But there's a reason it flopped, grossing just above $15 million on a budget of $10 million; and its 41% on Rotten Tomatoes isn't exactly off the mark.
But, hey, where else are you going to get to see a bunch of horny teens best vaguely racist depictions of South American ne'er-do-wells?! 
Now, sit back, smuggle in a few This is Growing Up Hazy IPAs from Roses by the Stairs, and swap those circuits! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake may be a bunch of rejects, but we're going to save the day!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Terrorists have taken over Regis Academy, and they're about to receive a lesson they will never forget!
Lingering Questions – Who would be our go-to hero to rescue these prep school dorks in their time of need? (27:09)
The "What's Pazanpans" Trivia Challenge – The Thunderous Wizard challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (39:39)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue our Try Hard Flops series with the lesser of the crisis in D.C. movies, White House Down! (51:16)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory – Off the Tracks

There are many things under siege in Under Siege 2: Dark Territory—the audience, Steven Seagal’s credibility as a tough guy, his belt, and the statutory laws of wherever they filmed.
None of those equate to an entertaining action movie, nor should they describe the sequel to a pretty solid film of the genre.
Yes, this movie sucks. But, it did essentially end the silly notion that Seagal was anything more than the blowhard that he actually was. We can all thank it for that, at least.
Now, sit back, chop open an Oatmeal Porter from Highland Brewing, and hack that Apple Newton! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are knife fighting terrorists on a runaway train!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Last time he rocked the boat. This time the sky's the limit!
Lingering Questions – Was any of the action in this action movie up to snuff? (31:58)
The "Hero Shit" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (44:34)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue our Try Hard Flops series with Die Hard at a prep school, Toy Soldiers! (56:11)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

War of the Worlds – Get Away from This Thing

Filmed during the pandemic, 2025's War of the Worlds was shelved for four+ years before being foisted upon the unsuspecting public. This turd should've never been dusted off.
There is nothing less suspenseful than watching Ice Cube fluctuate between looking anxious, angry, disturbed, and smarmy whilst sitting at a computer screen.
Literally, that is the film.
Now, sit back, ease your migraine with a Hazy Sculpin from Ballast Point Brewing, and stop hacking those drones! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are fighting off the alien invasion with nothing but our moxie and Amazon Prime Air!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – It's worse than you think!
No, I am not just having a laugh; that is legitimately the movie's tagline.
Lingering Questions – Why!? (28:30)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kickoff our Try Hard Flops series with the mediocre sequel to an action classic, Under Siege 2: Dark Territory! (45:46)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Jaws: The Revenge – Teleporting and Telepathic Terror

Jaws: The Revenge is the sad end to the great white's big screen carnivorous adventures.
Last episode, we skewered Jaws 3D for its cheap effects, lack of tension, and overall moronic story. Jaws: The Revenge is somehow worse. Sure, the shark effects are better (however moderately), but the story is nonsensical slop.
This time around, the prehistoric predator is out for more than just satisfying its own bloodlust. This hunt is personal. The Brody family is going to pay! Why does this particular shark care so much about their past offenses? That's an impossible question to answer, and, therefore, it probably shouldn't have been asked.
Regardless, they're going to get what's coming to them, and neither the laws of physics nor basic logic will stop Jaws! Hell, why are we even debating this?! Just jump on the banana boat and have some fun!
Now, sit back, toast to Sean Brody's memory with a Fiddlehead IPA from Fiddlehead Brewing Co., and track those sea snails! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are betting it all with Hoagie at the craps table!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – This time...it's personal!
Lingering Questions – Better or worse than its terrible predecessor? (33:20)
The "Shark Roars at Midnight" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (48:29)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We tackle one of the dumbest films on this planet—or any other—2025's War of the Worlds! (1:01:15)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Jaws 3D – Bland Fish

Jaws 3D is the third entry in the killer shark franchise.
The original is still widely regarded as a classic. The second is a watchable flick with some decent gore. This one, however, is a shipwreck of epic proportions.
From its shoddy 3D effects to its dearth of tension, Jaws 3D never offers anything to justify its existence. Yes, money is why, but having a good idea or two wouldn't have hurt.
The titular fish terrorizing a SeaWorld isn't exactly fodder for action and excitement. Critics and audiences agreed, sinking the threequel. Sadly, their disdain for Jaws 3D didn't bury the franchise deep enough.
It would rise back to the surface one last time for an even dumber adventure.
Now, sit back, ease your fears of the great white with a Devil's Ale from SanTan Brewing, and search that sunken pirate ship! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are perfecting our water skiing stunts with Jaws in hot pursuit!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – A deadly new attraction!
Lingering Questions – Did the movie about a killer shark have any cool killer shark murders? (28:07)
The "Third Dimension is Terror" Trivia Challenge – The Thunderous Wizard challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (43:07)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue celebrating the 50th Anniversary of Jaws by dissecting the second of its terrible sequels, Jaws: The Revenge! (58:27)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

The Dark Tower – Let It Fall

The Dark Tower is a woeful adaptation of Stephen King's beloved book series.
Condensing seven mainline stories into one undercooked film, The Dark Tower lacks any of the elements that made the novels so special.
It's a speed run, dumbing down the world and its lore so much that there's really no audience for it. Fans of the books were left dumbstruck, and newcomers were just confused.
The Dark Tower is a textbook example of not understanding the property you're adapting. And it very much deserves its 16% on Rotten Tomatoes. No thankee sai, Sony. You botched the hell out of this one.
Now, sit back, settle your mind with Black Caddis Porter from Wren House Brewing, and never forget the face of your father! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are beguiling people with our powerful magics!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – In a world of superheroes, there's only one Gunslinger!
Lingering Questions – Who would be the ideal actor to portray Roland Deschain? (29:09)
The "Gunslinger" Trivia Challenge – The Thunderous Wizard challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (50:13)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We celebrate the 50th Anniversary of Jaws by watching the two terrible sequels. First up is Jaws 3D! (1:00:58)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

The Man from UNCLE – Spy Hard

Based on a 60s television show of the same name, The Man from UNCLE attempts to merge the cool of James Bond with real-world Cold War era politics.
The results are mixed. Directed by Guy Ritchie, it has all the hallmarks of one of his films—quippy banter, smooth action beats, and heroes that ooze charisma.
Well, one of the heroes is charismatic. And it's not the one who allegedly is into cannibalism. Henry Cavill is the engine that drives The Man from UNCLE. And just like his turn in The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare, he proves he's got the chops to be both comedic and badass.
Sadly, audiences never gave this one a chance. On a budget of $75 million, it grossed just north of $110 million. That wasn't nearly enough to warrant the sequel they teased.
Now, sit back, stay incognito with a Lord Grey from Three Taverns, and never trust a Nazi scientist! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are enjoying some fine cheese and red wine while Mayor McCheese evades the goons!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Two sworn enemies ... one common mission!
Lingering Questions – How did Cavill never get a crack at Bond? (31:33)
The "UNCLE" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (50:15)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We conclude Flopbusters with the woeful Stephen King adaptation, The Dark Tower! (58:54)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Furiosa – Remember Us

As a follow-up to the masterful Mad Max: Fury Road, Furiosa had a tough road to hoe. It mostly lives up to those lofty expectations, but it also suffers from the same ills that plague most prequels.
We essentially knew the titular Furiosa's story. It was told brilliantly through the performance of Charlize Theron. Seeing it fully realized onscreen, as beautiful as it can be, doesn't feel entirely necessary.
This only ends one way; we've been privy to that. In the end, your left to wonder whether it would've served this universe better to see what comes next. Why drudge up the past?
Critics and audiences, those that actually saw it, loved what Furiosa had to offer. But that aforementioned question must have weighed on the general audience's mind. Grossing more than $200 million less than its predecessor, Furiosa lost a lot of money for WB.
It may not have felt necessary, but it certainly deserved a better fate than that.
Now, sit back, trade some guzzoline for a Sabre-Toothed Squirrel from Smog City Brewing, and top off your blood bag! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are all shiny and chrome! Witness us!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Fury is born!
Lingering Questions – Where does this rank in the Mad Max saga? (33:32)
The "We Have Become Half-Life" Trivia Challenge – The Thunderous Wizard challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:00:49)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Flopbusters with the slick spy flick, The Man from UNCLE! (1:13:25)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Battleship – Sunken Sailors

There was a time when Hasbro envisioned a cinematic universe. Battleship was a cog in that misguided wheel, an expensive one at that.
Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately for all us movie goers, Battleship sank before it even hit the seas.
Critics and audiences alike found little joy or interest in a $200 million dollar blockbuster based on a slow-paced board game.
To be fair, they were all correct. Battleship is a slog of a movie; and its nonsensical plot cannot be saved by the bombastic effects and action. Odds are that within minutes, you’ll be sending an SOS to your TV to find something more entertaining.
Now, sit back, arm your tastebuds with a Blind Pirate Blood Orange IPA from Monday Night Brewing, and don't promise any late night snacks if you can't deliver! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are sinking alien ships and dropping super cool one-liners — mahalo mother f%$&er!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – The battle for earth begins at sea!
Lingering Questions – Did their silly attempts at incorporating the game work? (25:20)
The "Chicken Burrito" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (49:58)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Flopbusters with the long-awaited prequel to one of the greatest movies ever made, Furiosa! (59:42)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!