Hops and Box Office Flops

Swing Vote – Hanging Sad

Swing Vote is about as dated as a film can get, harkening back to a time when politics were more civil and it was conceivable that both parties actually cared about their constituents.
In that sense, it's sort of a time capsule peace. It's also an unfunny mess, where we're stuck rooting for a deadbeat dad as two candidates shamelessly jockey for his decisive vote.
In Swing Vote Kevin Costner, as Bud Johnson, owns that lone vote. It's up to him to decide the winner of the Presidency. The only issue: He is a moron that isn't particularly interested in the race, nor is he aware of the ramifications exercising this immense civic duty could have.
Thus, we're forced to suffer through two hours of him hemming, hawing, and drinking. Yes, he does finally learn his lesson, which culminates in one of the most cheesy scenes we've done on this podcast.
Critics and audiences seemed to agree. Neither enjoyed the film. And Swing Vote didn't even make enough at the box office to recoup its modest $21 million budget.
Now, sit back, help Bud nurse his hangover with a Mangolorian from Naked River Brewery, and hop aboard President Boone's Money Plane! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are unsure who the hell is actually running in this thing!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – One ordinary guy is giving the candidates a reason to run!
Lingering Questions – Was Bud just too big an asshole to root for? (22:58)
The "Egg Salad" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (39:05)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue our Hops and Electoral Flops series with The Campaign! (48:07)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Skyscraper – Duct Tape Will Fix It

Skyscraper is our highest grossing Try Hard Flop, but it’s also our dullest. A paint-by-numbers action movie with very little action to speak of, this thing is a CGI-bloated algorithm of genre tropes.
Instead of just allowing the Rock to go full 80s badass, we get the wounded warrior poet, who begrudgingly picks back up his “sword” to clear his name and save his family.
If only the villains were similarly overwritten. They’re just there because it’s necessary to have them. Skyscraper doesn’t even bother to give them coherent motivations or pathos.
Unlike the building in the film, movie execs should’ve just let this script burn.
Now, sit back, gain some liquid courage with a Stumble Berry from Fat Head's Brewery, and jump off that crane! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are lost in this idiotic hall of digital mirrors! Help!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Don't look down!
Lingering Questions – In a movie full of implausible nonsense, what plot element was the most ludicrous? (38:56)
The "Safe Room" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:00:20)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kickoff our Hops and Electoral Flops series with Swing Vote! (1:09:36)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

White House Down – Cruel and Unusual Punishment

White House Down was one of two action movies set in the nation’s capitol in 2013. And it is the far inferior one.
Despite costing $80 million more than Olympus Has Fallen, White House Down looks and plays like a cheap replica of the former. Its PG-13 rating is also watered down, robbing the film of any potential for over the top violence.
We thought this was America, damnit!
Now, sit back, lock and load an X Hero IPA from Revolution Brewing, and keep your hands off the President's Jordans! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are trolling the White House tunnels for Gerald Ford's lost swimsuit!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – It will start like any other day!
Lingering Questions – Is this fun bad or just bad bad? (29:42)
The "Lincoln Bedroom" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (54:46)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We conclude our Try Hard Flops series with the most blatant of our ripoffs, Skyscraper! (1:06:57)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Toy Soldiers – Sex Crazed and Bootleg Vodka Strong

Toy Soldiers is the proof that Samwise Gamgee isn't just a stupid, fat Hobbit. He was once a dickish prep school kid, who played by his own rules.
Despite his poor behaviors and utter disrespect for authority, he's also capable of heroic feats.
That is the central concept behind Toy Soldiers—trust fund kids versus Colombian terrorists. Like all Die Hard-inspired films, we know how it will end—improbably and with a dose of good old American spirit!
Though it is now considered a cult classic, this isn't one of the finer clones of the 1988 classic that spawned the genre. Is it serviceable? Sure. But there's a reason it flopped, grossing just above $15 million on a budget of $10 million; and its 41% on Rotten Tomatoes isn't exactly off the mark.
But, hey, where else are you going to get to see a bunch of horny teens best vaguely racist depictions of South American ne'er-do-wells?! 
Now, sit back, smuggle in a few This is Growing Up Hazy IPAs from Roses by the Stairs, and swap those circuits! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake may be a bunch of rejects, but we're going to save the day!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Terrorists have taken over Regis Academy, and they're about to receive a lesson they will never forget!
Lingering Questions – Who would be our go-to hero to rescue these prep school dorks in their time of need? (27:09)
The "What's Pazanpans" Trivia Challenge – The Thunderous Wizard challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (39:39)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue our Try Hard Flops series with the lesser of the crisis in D.C. movies, White House Down! (51:16)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory – Off the Tracks

There are many things under siege in Under Siege 2: Dark Territory—the audience, Steven Seagal’s credibility as a tough guy, his belt, and the statutory laws of wherever they filmed.
None of those equate to an entertaining action movie, nor should they describe the sequel to a pretty solid film of the genre.
Yes, this movie sucks. But, it did essentially end the silly notion that Seagal was anything more than the blowhard that he actually was. We can all thank it for that, at least.
Now, sit back, chop open an Oatmeal Porter from Highland Brewing, and hack that Apple Newton! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are knife fighting terrorists on a runaway train!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Last time he rocked the boat. This time the sky's the limit!
Lingering Questions – Was any of the action in this action movie up to snuff? (31:58)
The "Hero Shit" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (44:34)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue our Try Hard Flops series with Die Hard at a prep school, Toy Soldiers! (56:11)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

War of the Worlds – Get Away from This Thing

Filmed during the pandemic, 2025's War of the Worlds was shelved for four+ years before being foisted upon the unsuspecting public. This turd should've never been dusted off.
There is nothing less suspenseful than watching Ice Cube fluctuate between looking anxious, angry, disturbed, and smarmy whilst sitting at a computer screen.
Literally, that is the film.
Now, sit back, ease your migraine with a Hazy Sculpin from Ballast Point Brewing, and stop hacking those drones! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are fighting off the alien invasion with nothing but our moxie and Amazon Prime Air!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – It's worse than you think!
No, I am not just having a laugh; that is legitimately the movie's tagline.
Lingering Questions – Why!? (28:30)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kickoff our Try Hard Flops series with the mediocre sequel to an action classic, Under Siege 2: Dark Territory! (45:46)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Jaws: The Revenge – Teleporting and Telepathic Terror

Jaws: The Revenge is the sad end to the great white's big screen carnivorous adventures.
Last episode, we skewered Jaws 3D for its cheap effects, lack of tension, and overall moronic story. Jaws: The Revenge is somehow worse. Sure, the shark effects are better (however moderately), but the story is nonsensical slop.
This time around, the prehistoric predator is out for more than just satisfying its own bloodlust. This hunt is personal. The Brody family is going to pay! Why does this particular shark care so much about their past offenses? That's an impossible question to answer, and, therefore, it probably shouldn't have been asked.
Regardless, they're going to get what's coming to them, and neither the laws of physics nor basic logic will stop Jaws! Hell, why are we even debating this?! Just jump on the banana boat and have some fun!
Now, sit back, toast to Sean Brody's memory with a Fiddlehead IPA from Fiddlehead Brewing Co., and track those sea snails! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are betting it all with Hoagie at the craps table!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – This time...it's personal!
Lingering Questions – Better or worse than its terrible predecessor? (33:20)
The "Shark Roars at Midnight" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (48:29)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We tackle one of the dumbest films on this planet—or any other—2025's War of the Worlds! (1:01:15)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Jaws 3D – Bland Fish

Jaws 3D is the third entry in the killer shark franchise.
The original is still widely regarded as a classic. The second is a watchable flick with some decent gore. This one, however, is a shipwreck of epic proportions.
From its shoddy 3D effects to its dearth of tension, Jaws 3D never offers anything to justify its existence. Yes, money is why, but having a good idea or two wouldn't have hurt.
The titular fish terrorizing a SeaWorld isn't exactly fodder for action and excitement. Critics and audiences agreed, sinking the threequel. Sadly, their disdain for Jaws 3D didn't bury the franchise deep enough.
It would rise back to the surface one last time for an even dumber adventure.
Now, sit back, ease your fears of the great white with a Devil's Ale from SanTan Brewing, and search that sunken pirate ship! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are perfecting our water skiing stunts with Jaws in hot pursuit!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – A deadly new attraction!
Lingering Questions – Did the movie about a killer shark have any cool killer shark murders? (28:07)
The "Third Dimension is Terror" Trivia Challenge – The Thunderous Wizard challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (43:07)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue celebrating the 50th Anniversary of Jaws by dissecting the second of its terrible sequels, Jaws: The Revenge! (58:27)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

The Dark Tower – Let It Fall

The Dark Tower is a woeful adaptation of Stephen King's beloved book series.
Condensing seven mainline stories into one undercooked film, The Dark Tower lacks any of the elements that made the novels so special.
It's a speed run, dumbing down the world and its lore so much that there's really no audience for it. Fans of the books were left dumbstruck, and newcomers were just confused.
The Dark Tower is a textbook example of not understanding the property you're adapting. And it very much deserves its 16% on Rotten Tomatoes. No thankee sai, Sony. You botched the hell out of this one.
Now, sit back, settle your mind with Black Caddis Porter from Wren House Brewing, and never forget the face of your father! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are beguiling people with our powerful magics!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – In a world of superheroes, there's only one Gunslinger!
Lingering Questions – Who would be the ideal actor to portray Roland Deschain? (29:09)
The "Gunslinger" Trivia Challenge – The Thunderous Wizard challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (50:13)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We celebrate the 50th Anniversary of Jaws by watching the two terrible sequels. First up is Jaws 3D! (1:00:58)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!