Hops and Box Office Flops

Highlander II: The Quickening – More Like Whylander

Highlander II: The Quickening takes everything you loved about the original and throws it in the dumpster. A sequel in title only, the film is an utter travesty from start to finish.
Why? Well, instead of the general premise of them simply being immortals, they are now beings from a different planet. They were sent to Earth as punishment for treason, but also inexplicably granted immortality.
It only gets worse from there. Sean Connery returns as Ramirez. Yes, he died in the first one. That doesn't matter here. And, as viewers, it's best not to ask questions. He's charming and famous damnit! Plus, one can't simply expect Highlander II to just coast on bizarre alley sex scenes with Christopher Lambert!
But, I digress, Highlander was a cool genre flick with an interesting premise. Sadly, when forced to flesh out their lore, the writers penned some of the dumbest shit to ever grace the screen. It flopped hard, and it deserved to. It also has the distinction of holding a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. There couldn't even be one reviewer that liked it.
Now, sit back, drink to your immortal health with a Kilt Lifter from Four Peaks Brewing, and tear down the Shield! The Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are plotting a coup on our home planet, Zeist!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – In all their centuries on Earth, nothing could prepare them for...! (0:00)
Lingering Questions – In a movie full of stupid scenes, which was the dumbest? (34:26)
The "Quickening" Trivia Challenge – The Thunderous Wizard challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (58:12)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Notorious Flops with Master of Disguise! (1:11:22)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!

Saturn 3 – Horny Captain Kirk

Saturn 3 is, quite frankly, just a bizarre film. It focuses on essentially three characters—played by just Kirk Douglas, Farah Fawcett, and Harvey Keitel—as well as a corny looking robot named Hector.
Douglas and Fawcett, as Major Adam and his assistant Alex, work on one of the moon's of Saturn, striving to find solutions to Earth's hunger problem.
Keitel, as the menacing Benson, shows up to bring chaos and terror to their lives. Well, really he's just weird, but his robot companion—fueled by his worst traits—becomes a murderous psychopath.
That is essentially the movie. It has odd sex scenes, a dearth of tension, some supremely bad ADR over Keitel's voice, and some of the worst practical effects this side of Uranus.
Hence why it is hailed as one of the worst movies of all-time, crashing and burning with critics and at the box office.
Now, sit back, question your life choices with a tumbler of tequila, and monitor our hydroponics! The Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are feeding our worst impulses into Hector's collection of baby brains!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Trapped between unnatural love and inhuman desire! (0:00)
Lingering Questions – How dumb is Hector's design? (34:13)
The "Blue Dreamers" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (51:02)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Notorious Flops with Highlander II: The Quickening! (1:00:14)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!

Deadpool & Wolverine – Like a Prayer

Deadpool & Wolverine is a comic nerd's dream. It's a love letter to the superhero cinema that paved the path to this current generation, while also celebrating the iconic performances of Hugh Jackman as Wolverine.
It's bloody, vulgar, and just a really f$%^ing great time. It also helps to reset the course for a fledgling MCU. Unlike many of the Phase 4/5 films and shows before it, you will leave Deadpool & Wolverine excited for the potential of the future.
Will Jackman return for the next two Avengers movies? What the hell was that tease with Thor and Deadpool? Those answers will obviously come, but what made the MCU so brilliant throughout its decades+ reign as box office kings was its ability to hold the viewers interest.
That stranglehold has more than just slackened in recent years. But, rest assured, Deadpool & Wolverine reaffirms that grasp with pair of Hulk hands. At $900 million and counting, it is a runaway success; and that success is well deserved. You'll laugh; you'll cry; you'll scream, "Holy shit!"; and you'll definitely have the time of your life (or at least summer)
Now, sit back, peer into the clouded future of the MCU with a Stone Delicious Hazy IPA, and don't desecrate any graves! The Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK) and Chumpzilla are eating our feelings and driving through the void in a sweet Honda Odyssey!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Everyone deserves a happy ending! (0:00)
Lingering Questions – Is Hugh Jackman the GOAT of comic book actors? (40:36)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kick off Notorious Flops with Saturn 3! (1:06:43)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!

Boy Kills World – Bumper Stump Mop Mop

Forgive the brevity, as we’re at comic con, but Boy Kills World is a bloody good time, and you should watch it!
Now, sit back, prepare to fight with an Atomic Slam Hazy Double IPA from Paperback Brewing, and don't be a f$%# puppet! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are laying the smackdown to sugary cereal mascots at the Culling!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Gear up for an action fever dream! (0:00)
Lingering Questions – Who did dystopian death TV better this or The Running Man? (23:27)
The "Frosty Puffs" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (43:31)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kick off Notorious Flops with Saturn 3! (53:15)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!

Equilibrium – Sense Offender

Equilibrium centers on post-World War III society, Libria, where emotions have been outlawed. Daily, citizens must take scheduled injections of Prozium II to ensure they don't begin to feel. Violators are handled with prejudice.
If that sounds familiar, it should. Equilibrium, despite a few nifty action scenes, is highly derivative of better dystopian fiction. One of its few innovations—enforcement agents trained in the art of gun kata known as the Grammaton Clerics—are just wannabe Neo clones. Oh, and as you'll hear on the pod, gun kata is really goddamn stupid.
A backyard creation of Equilibrium's director, Kurt Wimmer, gun kata is the equivalent of the old Star Wars kid YouTube video. As in, it may have looked cool in his head, but he probably should've thought better than to film people doing it.
Now, sit back, curb your emotions with a Third Eye PA from Third Eye Brewing, and don't forget your morning dose! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are ridding the world of contraband, one Da Vinci painting at a time!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – In a future where freedom is outlawed, outlaws will become heroes! (0:00)
Lingering Questions – On a graded scale—F to A—how would we assess the final action scene? (51:28)
The "Prozium II" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:09:19)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We conclude Dystopian Flops with one of 2024's biggest bombs, Boy Kills World! (1:23:24)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!

The Running Man – It's Showtime

The Running Man, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, resembles the Richard Bachman (Stephen King) novel it was based on in name only. Naturally, since its lead is the "Austrian Oak," it is a testosterone-fueled action movie with a light sprinkling of dystopian allegories.
That said, it crushes both of those elements. Certainly, The Running Man's dire warnings may feel satirical, but viewed through a contemporary lens, they are wildly prescient. Deep fake technology, live executions being fed to the masses in the form of a game show, and an America run by corporate greed are not just plausible, we're living through most of it.
In the 1980s, when the country was high on Reaganomics, The Running Man's themes sadly failed to resonate with audiences. On a budget of nearly $30 million, it grossed just north of $38 million. That, unlike Cadre Cola, does not hit the spot.
Now, sit back, get energized with a Hazing Arizona from Walter Station Brewery, and let's start running! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla love this saw. It's a part of us, and now we're gonna make it a part of you!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – The year is 2019. The finest men in America don't run for President. They run for their lives! (0:00)
Lingering Questions – We need one kill. Which Stalker do we pick for the job? (35:03)
The "Captain Freedom's Workout" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (55:18)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Dystopian Flops with some B-grade Gun-Fu in Equilibrium! (1:05:24)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on all your favorite pod catchers!

Blade Runner – Skin Jobs

When it was released in 1982, few could've predicted Blade Runner would become the cultural landmark that it did.
Sure, it was well reviewed at the time and remains so, but it was generally slept on by audiences. Time has only seen the appreciation for it grow.
Its cult status is well deserved. Blade Runner is a masterpiece of the genre—a truly seminal science fiction film. Buoyed by Rutger Hauer's masterful performance as replicant Roy Batty, it is a film that engrosses you in its post-apocalyptic world.
And, like all essential science fiction, it poses important questions about what makes us human. If you haven't seen it, there is no better time than the present.
Now, sit back, dull your guilt with a Tsingtao, and don't question the impending end of your existence! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are "retiring"replicants who dare question their masters!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Man has made his match. Now, it's his problem! (0:00)
Lingering Questions – From flop to cult classic. How do we feel about the legacy of Blade Runner? (41:05)
The "Tyrell Corporation" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:09:29)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Dystopian Flops with Arnold's other 1987 sci-fi classic, The Running Man! (1:22:13)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Jury Duty – Find Him Guilty

Jury Duty was one of the last gasps in the fading stardom of Pauly Shore. Son of the legendary Mitzi Shore, Pauly was briefly—and inexplicably—a Hollywood thing in the 90s.
With his dopey, laissez-faire  chic, he headlined a string of movies, most of which weren’t very good. Jury Duty falls into the unfortunate section of his filmography. A riff on 12 Angry Men, the movie centers on one dipshit juror, who refuses to render a verdict because the $5 they’re making per day is too sweet a deal.
As one could imagine, flat jokes, racist impressions, a romantic subplot, and our moronic lead actually doing the right thing all follow. It’s obnoxious, unfunny, off putting, and seems far longer than 87 minutes.
Hence why critics and audiences found Jury Duty guilty on all charges, sentencing it to 0% on Rotten Tomatoes and purchasing far less tickets than the movie cost to make.
Now, sit back drown out the annoyance of Pauly Shore's voice with a Harpoon IPA, and never bet against Peanut's Jeopardy skills! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are sharing a burrito with Judge Ito!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – For truth. For justice. For five bucks a day! (0:00)
Lingering Questions – Why was Pauly Shore a thing? (32:52)
The "The Fast Food Killer" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (52:00)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kick off Dystopian Flops with a sci-fi masterpiece, Blade Runner! (1:03:18)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Nothing But Trouble – Struck Dumb By a Thunderclap

Nothing But Trouble is so bizarre that it's hard to believe it exists. The brain child of Dan Aykroyd, it is a menagerie of his wildest ideas and characters.
And, since he wrote, directed, and produced it, there was nobody on set with enough clout to have him rein it in a little. Ghostbusters this is not.
Despite that, Aykroyd should be commended for going all in on his ideas. When your film involves a prosthetic nose shaped like the tip of a penis and two ghastly looking grown men covered in crud and oil and wearing diapers, it's clear you've committed to the bit.
Nothing But Trouble is a singular vision. Whether you think it works or not—more than likely not—is up to you. Critics, for their part, hated it, sentencing it to 15% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Audiences were apparently also baffled by it. Nothing But Trouble is one of the largest box office flops of all time. It grossed less than $9 million on a budget of $45 million.
Hey, hey, ha! Ho ha! Heh heh heh heh! Hoola, Hoola, Hoola! The Boola Boola Boola! Look who's got the front seats to the Mexican hat dance now!
Now, sit back, tour Judge Alvin "JP" Valkenheiser's house of horrors with a King Crispy Pilsner from Deschutes Brewing, and get yourself up a couple of dogs! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are riding the harrowing rails of Mr. Bone Stripper!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – All they wanted was a little getaway. All they got was nothing but trouble! (0:00)
Lingering Questions – Is this the oddest movie we've ever done? (35:14)
The "Mr. Bone Stripper" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (43:32)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We finish Objection! Flops with the worst gift the 90s ever gave us Pauly Shore in Jury Duty! (50:36)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!