Hops and Box Office Flops

Damned River – River Rat Rage

Damned River chronicles a group of friends' harrowing trip down the Zambezi River in Zimbabwe. Their guide, Ray, an unhinged madman and former mercenary (?), is at odds with other local rafters.
Thus, as the begin their trek, Ray slowly descends into madness.  The premise isn't exactly novel, but it isn't bad either. The issues with Damned River all come down to execution.
The acting is over the top and hammy, the script is all wet, and the action is as sub-par as one would expect from a film only available on YouTube as a poor transfer from an obscure TV series called "Movies for Men."
That said, there is some fun to be had with Damned River—in the, this should have appeared on Mystery Science Theater 3000 sort of way. 
Now, sit back, ride the wave train with a Boat Show IPA from Yellow Springs Brewery, and stay out of Ray's waters! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Bling Blake are braving some sick class five rapids with a homicidal maniac as our guide!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – A dream vacation... Becomes a grim Nightmare! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Ray is a lunatic, but an entertaining one. What was over favorite "River Rat" Ray moment? (40:28)
The "Slambezi" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast breaks an oar over someone's head, and then Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:07:50)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kick off "Hops and Xenomorph Flops," with David Fincher's Alien 3! (1:22:39)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the raging rapids of the Zambezi and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Drop Zone – Look Out Below

Drop Zone, like a lot of mediocre 90s action movies, puts a spin on a successful formula established in a much better film. In this case, it's 1991's Point Break.
Substituting skydiving for surfing and Wesley Snipes for Keanu Reeves, Drop Zone attempts to be edgy and hip like its inspiration, but mostly free falls in trying.
That's not to say that there aren't elements of it to be appreciated. The skydiving scenes are excellently shot, aside from the awkward green screen closeups; and the hammy turn of Gary Busey as the villainous Ty Moncrief is vintage 90s bad guy fare.
But, as mentioned, Drop Zone isn't exactly genre defining. Hence why it received poor reviews (39% on Rotten Tomatoes with 23 of them) and struggled at the box office (grossing just $62 million worldwide on a budget of $45 million).
But, let's face it, we all knew an action movie about skydiving thieves would be dumb, so just embrace it.
Now, sit back, enjoy the ludicrous wig of Busey's student double, and get high with an Elevated IPA from La Cumbre Brewing! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are toasting to blue skies and black death!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Passenger 57 is back, but this time he's jumping out of planes! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – In a movie full of practical stunts, which was our favorite? (20:44)
The "Blue Skies, Black Death" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast sabotages their opponents parachute, and then I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (47:27)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We finish "Hops and Xtreme Flops," with a movie only Bling Blake has heard of, Damned River! (54:59)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—how they pulled off all the stunts and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Rollerball – Prison Rules

Rollerball (2002) is one of the worst movies any of us have ever seen; and that is saying something.
Directed by John McTiernan—who always seems to appear on our pod, despite directing some of our favorite films—Rollerball was a remake of a 1975 film starring James Caan.
The 2002 version retains none of what made that movie work. It's social criticisms are half-baked, the actual Rollerball scenes are nauseating, and its lead, Chris Klein, makes wood appear emotive by comparison.
Shot, reshot, and shot again, Rollerball is an absolute mess onscreen. Off-screen, the situation was even worse. McTiernan, who was in a bitter battle over the course of the film, illegally wiretapped the movie's producer—an action that would land him in prison years later.
Thus, Rollerball's 3% on Rotten Tomatoes should not come as a shock, nor should its meager box office gross of $25.9 million (its budget was $70 million). One didn't require night vision to see that this project was set to crash and burn.
Now, sit back, pound as many Voodoo Ranger Fruit Force IPAs from New Belgium as your stomach will allow, and watch out for the motorcycles! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are ready to start the revolution—John-A-Thon!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Go Ballistic! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – How in the hell was this released in this state? (48:12)
The "Close Your Eyes and Take the Money" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast uses the Rollerball as a bludgeon, and then Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:24:48)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Xtreme Flops," with the the skydiving heist film, Drop Zone! (1:36:10)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—why McTiernan got sent to the pen and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Airborne – Wannabe Bullwinkle

Airborne is rad. That fact can't be denied, even if rollerblading isn't as cool as it was in 1993.
That said, Airborne is also very 90s; and if you didn't grow up during that decade, the tubular nature of the film will probably escape you.
Anyway, Airborne centers around a hip California kid, who gets shipped off to Cincinnati, Ohio, to live with his relatives for six months. Mitchell Goosen is a fish out of water. The particular body of water is the Pacific Ocean.
Naturally, he has trouble adjusting, and the midwestern jocks of Cincy don't exactly welcome him either. That is, until they realize he's Jesus on blades! That's the movie. Sprinkle in some romance and a young Scott Evil fashion show, and you've got the single best movie about rollerblading street races ever.
Now, sit back, shred a few Ponto Session IPAs from Pizza Port Brewing Co., and enjoy the liquid Drano! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Bling Blake are ready to chill, brah!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – There are two kinds of people: those who get AIRBORNE...and those who don't! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Which of us would survive a harrowing rollerblade race? (30:26)
The "Devil's Backbone" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast crosschecks their opponents, and then I challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (48:10)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Xtreme Flops," with the rollerblading-centric disaster, 2002's Rollerball! (58:16)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—Cincy's love for the film and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Moonfall – Nuke the Moon!

Moonfall—written and directed by the master of "Disaster Movies" Roland Emmerich—is, quite ironically, a disaster of a movie.
Essentially, in Moonfall, the Moon is on a crash course with earth because malevolent artificial intelligence (AI) has knocked it off its axis. Oh, and the moon is actually a megastructure that was created by an ancient population in the far distant past.
That society built the Moon to escape the evil AI, ensuring their species—us, or humanity rather—would be able to survive. None of this is a joke.
Without Bruce Willis and his mining crew to save Earth, we're left with Samwell Tarley and Orm, a disgraced astronaut who encountered the asshole AI ten years prior.
Anyway, loads of dumb stuff happens, CGI gets vomited all over the screen, unearned family feels occur, and, ultimately, the day is saved.
We can only expect that Emmerich consulted several moronic conspiracy theorists while writing it. Hence why it received mediocre reviews—36% on Rotten Tomatoes with 214 of them–and failed to recoup its sizable budget. It earned just $67.3 million worldwide on a budget as high as $150 million.
For Emmerich, who independently produced this nonsense, Moonfall was a financial crater.
Now, sit back, send your tastebuds into orbit with a Space Dust IPA from Elysian Brewing, and be wary of space conspiracy theories! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Bling Blake are sending nukes to the Moon!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – In 2022, Humanity will face the dark side of the Moon! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Is there any possible way to fix this movie? (41:34)
The "Super Structure" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast outwrestles the rogue AI, and then Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the Moon. (1:06:52)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kickoff "Hops and Xtreme Flops," with the rollerblading classic, Airborne! (1:20:46)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the potential sequels and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Three Thousand Years of Longing – Not Worth the Wait

Three Thousand Years of Longing is George Miller's much anticipated return to cinemas. Post Mad Max: Fury Road, expectations were high for his next project.
Sadly, Three Thousand Years of Longing can't live up to the lofty expectations of its filmmaker's predecessor. It's not a bad movie by any means; but its tale of a lonely woman finding love and purpose through an ancient Djinn isn't exactly compelling either.
Apparently, audiences agreed. On a budget of $60 million, it failed to pass even $20 million. In essence, Three Thousand Years of Longing couldn't conjure the magic Miller and co. hoped it would.
Now, sit back, fulfill your thirst desires with a Desert Magic IPA from Mudshark Brewing, and be careful what you wish for! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are scouring Istanbul for a genie in a bottle!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – What would you wish for? (00:00)
Lingering Questions – And, now, what would we wish for? (19:40)
The "Sugar Lump" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast wins the Genie on a Pole match, and then I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (37:00)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We conclude "Hops and Massive 2022 Flops," with the ridiculously stupid, Moonfall! (46:16)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—this film's lore and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

The Northman – Naked Volcano Fight

The Northman is a wild, Viking fever dream. So, if you're a fan of their mythology and lore, you will probably love it.
If not, then The Northman is a tough one to recommend. It is loaded with weird imagery and historical Viking rituals that will make little to no sense if you're not familiar with them.
Hence, it's disappointing box office return. It grossed just $69.6 million on a budget of $90 million. Though those numbers were both highs for director Robert Eggers, the former makes it a flop.
Despite its financial stumble, The Northman is a wonderful film to look at. Shot in various locations across Europe, it is, quite simply, a beautiful film. Sadly, that visual splendor is muddled by the morally grey characters who inhabit it.
Regardless, it is a film that boasts two naked men fighting in a volcano; and that's just not something you get to see every day.
Now, sit back, hack open an Icelandic White Ale from Einstok Beer Co., and consult the severed head of wisdom! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Bling Blake are howling at the moon in our underwear!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Conquer your fate! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – We discuss why this film failed to find commercial success. (39:32)
The "War Raven" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast hits someone with a knattleikr stick, and then Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (59:56)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Massive 2022 Flops," with a tale centuries in the making, Three Thousand Years of Longing! (1:09:14)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—Egger's desire for more full frontal combat and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Black Adam – It’s Electrifying

Black Adam was supposed to change the hierarchy of the DC Universe. Instead, it tanked with critics and couldn't conjure enough magic at the box office to earn a sequel.
Thus, it appears the Rock's long awaited appearance as the anti-hero is a one and done. Frankly, that kind of sucks because Black Adam is an entertaining movie. It's a flawed one, to be sure, but watching the titular hero mow down bad guys is a hell of a lot of fun.
Throw in an exceptional Pierce Brosnan portrayal of Dr. Fate, as well as a more than capable Hawkman adaptation (played by Aldis Hodge), and the groundwork for a bigger, better sequel was laid.
Alas, it is not meant to be. Grossing just $392.6 million on a budget north of $200 million, Black Adam couldn't prove its worth to the new DC higher ups. Bummer.
Now, sit back, electrify your taste buds with a Black Butte Porter from Deschutes, and tell them the man in black sent you! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Bling Blake are rallying Kahndaq to fight the undead army of Sabbac!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – The world needed a hero. It got Black Adam. The time of heroes is over! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – We bid a fond farewell to Hop Nation USA, and then we discuss how badass it would've been to see Superman throw down with the Rock. (35:59)
The "Teth-Adam" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast wins a battle royal against Amanda Waller's goons, and then I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (1:06:54)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Massive 2022 Flops," with a tale of bloody, Viking revenge, The Northman! (1:18:52)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the Rock's big DC pitch and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

The Wizard – It’s So Bad

The Wizard is a needlessly dark road trip movie about a young boy trying to find closure after the death of his twin sister.
The rest of the movie doesn't seem to understand that because that portion of the plot was written at the last minute, so it plays much more like a kids version of Rain Man, where the older brother exploits his younger, video game master brother for his own financial gain. Literally.
The Wizard, as it juggles it darker elements, also serves as a commercial for Nintendo.
An antagonist sports the Power Glove; it boasts several scenes of the titular boy wonder excelling at arcade games that are actually their Nintendo versions; and it culminates in a video game tournament, where Super Mario Bros. 3 is the championship game.
Sounds like a lot of fun, except The Wizard isn't. And somehow, the lovable (before he was problematic) Fred Savage is just an annoying asshole throughout.
Now, sit back, pick up and put down an Arcade IPA from Knee Deep Brewing Co., and beware of the Power Glove ... It's so bad! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Bling Blake are hitching a ride in a Hostess truck to fulfill our dreams of video game glory!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – It's more than a game ... It's the chance of a lifetime! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we discuss what games we would excel at in Video Armageddon. (23:44)
The "I Love the Power Glove" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast enters a cheat code to win, and then I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (40:50)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We begin 2023 with "Hops and Massive 2022 Flops," talking the film that failed to truly change the hierarchy of power in DC, Black Adam! (49:48)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—Shout Factory's awesome blu-ray release and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!