Hops and Box Office Flops

Fast X – You Made One Mistake ... You Never Took Our Mics

With Fast X, our favorite street racers turned international spies again find themselves entangled with another bad guy hell bent on world domination and revenge. This time, it is the deliciously evil Dante, played with the perfect amount of lunacy by Jason Mamoa.
Dante is the son of Hernan Reyes, who we last saw meeting his demise in Fast Five. Thus, Fast X is essentially trying to recapture the magic of what is widely believed to be the best film in the series. Whether it accomplishes that goal or not all depends on how much gas you think the series has left in the tank.
Fast X is excessively loud, dumb, and over the top in all the best ways—but also all the same ways we've seen before. As a result, it does leave one wondering how much longer Dom and his adopted family can keep the pedal to the metal.
Like F9, Fast X's box office is eating the dust of Furious 7 and The Fate of the Furious (Fast 8). Looking to finish with just over $700 million worldwide and with an ultra soft $130 million domestic (as of this writing), the law of diminishing returns appears to be in full effect.
The same can be said for its reviews. At 56% on Rotten Tomatoes, Fast X is the worst reviewed entry since the fourth. With two movies to go, all signs point to this needing an exit ramp.
So, sit back, send your tastebuds drifting with a Dynamite IPA from Goldwater Brewing, and tail-whip a rolling bomb with a crane! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are going full throttle through the streets of Rome!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Not all races can be won! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast street races for pink slips, and then we predict who will randomly come back from the dead next. (43:00)
The "Sum Bitch" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to trivia about the Fast and Furious franchise. (1:08:25)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kick off Hops and WTF Flops with the baffling Tip Toes! (1:19:45)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the Rock's upcoming pseudo-sequel and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

X-Men Origins: Wolverine – Declawed

X-Men Origins: Wolverine is one of the worst superhero movies to come out of the big comic book cinema boom. It ignores basically everything established in the main line of X-Men films to craft a laborious tale of the early days of Logan's heroism.
Throwing in heaps and loads of random mutants, X-Men Origins: Wolverine has zero interest in crafting an adequate narrative for its titular hero. Instead, it seems to hope that audiences will just ignore how nonsensical it is because they'll be clamoring for all the future cinematic avenues it opens up.
Spoiler: They didn't. Why? Well, this was an absurd and stupid way to approach a character's origin. Moreover, it also butchered several beloved characters in the process—particularly Deadpool, but also Gambit.
Hence why critics and audiences hated it. X-Men Origins: Wolverine sits at 38% on Rotten Tomatoes with 259 reviews. It deserved worse. If you love Wolverine, just watch this movie's sequels—if you can even call them that—The Wolverine and the cinema masterclass that is Logan.
Now, sit back, dull your senses with a Puppers Beer, and go on a quest for revenge with your sweet new claws! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Capt. Cash are throwing down with Weapon XI back to back to back!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Witness the Origin! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast harvests mutant genes for the Dead ... Pool, and then we discuss why X-Men Origins: Wolverine went off the rails. (36:10)
The "Weapon X" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:00:34)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We celebrate our 200th episode in style by careening down an exploding dam with Fast X! (1:13:02)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the original script and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Rocky V – Punch Drunk

Rocky V is a textbook example of a franchise hanging on too long. Without any more mountains to climb, Stallone took the titular character back to his roots. Unfortunately, that journey isn't a very compelling one.
Rocky V has a lot to say—spotlighting the transactional nature of sports media, the devastating effects of head trauma, and how sports places profits over people; but none of it, sadly, is done particularly well.
Instead, we get a muddled movie overstuffed with subplots that fails to ever find a clear focus. Lost in all of it is the central narrative of Rocky sacrificing valuable time with his actual son to train Tommy Gunn. Gunn, of course, is not who Rocky believes him to be. He's petulant, ungrateful, and willing to cast Rocky aside with just the slightest hint of greener pastures.
Because so much of this is jumbled in other nonsense and weighed down by a sub-par script, we hardly care when it comes time for them to fight. Critics agreed. They threw haymakers at Rocky V, knocking it out with a paltry 31% on Rotten Tomatoes with 39 reviews. It even received seven Razzie nominations.
And if Stallone thought the fans would never turn their backs on the beloved character, well, yo, Adrian, this movie did it.
Now, sit back, concuss yourself with a few Arrogant Bastard Ales from Stone Brewing, and slip the jab! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Bling Blake, and the J-Man from the Double Turn Podcast are suffering from far too many blows to the head!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Go for it! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast rings the bell, and then we discuss the absurdity of Rocky V. (58:05)
The "You Know, I’m Not as Stupid as Everyone Thinks" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:41:03)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We finish off "Hops and Franchise Entry Flops," with the cinema's greatest showman, Hugh Jackman, in X-Men Origins: Wolverine! (1:51:53)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the highs and lows of Tommy Morrison's career and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull – Knowledge is Our Treasure

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was the legendary character's big return to cinemas after 1989's The Last Crusade. Suffice to say, expectations were high for the famed archeologist's latest globe-trotting exploit.
And, for fans of the character, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull did feature a lot of what made the original trilogy so great. What audiences seemed to be torn on, however, was its over reliance on CGI, goofy beats, and science fiction-based premise.
That didn't stop them from seeing it, though. On a budget of $185 million, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull grossed nearly $791 million worldwide. The detractors disenchantment with it did not effect the critics either. With 308 reviews, it sits at 77% on Rotten Tomatoes.
This pod, like the public at large, was split on it. Some of us loved it and embraced it for what it was, while others couldn't get past its more pulpy moments.
That seems to be the plight of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Some will hate it for "ruining their childhood;" others will say it's just not up to the standards of the series; and some will just enjoy seeing another adventure with their favorite ass-kicking PhD. We suggest you do the latter.
Now, sit back, embolden your mind with an Indy themed Crystal Head Vodka Martini, and watch out for those darts! They're poison! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are seeing who can get launched the farthest by a nuclear blast in a lead-lined fridge!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – If adventure has a name... it must be Indiana Jones. The hero is back! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast channels Al Snow by carrying around an alien head, and then we discuss what worked/didn't work about Indy's big return. (32:12)
The "Space between Spaces" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (1:03:09)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Franchise Entry Flops," with the black sheep of the Rocky Balboa saga, Rocky V! (1:10:12)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the actual crystal skulls and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Robocop 3 – Needs to be Decommissioned

Robocop 3 is the embodiment of when a franchise has creatively exhausted itself. It feels and looks cheap; has nothing new to say; and tones down the series' signature violence to milk the most out of a dwindling audience.
For fans of the series, its existence must be heartbreaking. Robocop 3's ineptitude is on par with other disastrous sequels of the era, like Superman IV.
That is really all you can say about it. It recycles plot points from the first film and shamelessly calls back to things you loved from that one, as well. Its only novel introduction is a robot ninja assassin, whose fights with Robocop are so painfully slow, you will be tempted to watch them in 2x speed.
Thus, Robocop 3's 6% on Rotten Tomatoes should not come as a shock; but you should be dumbstruck to discover that it out-grossed its predecessor. Even with the PG-13 rating, that is astounding. Poor Murphy!
Now, sit back, optimize your prime directives with a Screamsickle from Six Point Brewery, and close your eyes during the jetpack scene! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are clearing the streets of Old Detroit with McDaggett's goon squad!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Chaos... Corruption... Civil War... He's back to lay down the law! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast survives an Inferno Match with the Splatter Punks, and then we ask: What the hell happened to this series? (39:55)
The "Loyal as a Puppy" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:07:30)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Franchise Entry Flops," with the criminally underrated Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull! (1:16:58)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the Canadian TV show and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Alien Covenant – Demented David’s Dungeon of Curiosities

Alien Covenant was sort of damned from the beginning. As a direct sequel to the divisive Prometheus, it was continuing a story half the audience had no desire to see. Moreover, they probably also had zero interest in learning where the Xenomorphs came from.
Those are significant hurdles when that is exactly what the movie is about. Sorry, Sir Ridley. Thus, like its predecessor, your mileage on Alien Covenant will vary. In the case of this podcast, it is near polar opposites.
Alien Covenant may center on a ship of colonists on course for a new home, but it is David's story. Yes, that David. The android we last saw as a head without a body. It is his continued tinkering with the black goo that finally creates the Xenomorph as we first saw it.
Hence, why this movie saw Prometheus' divisiveness and said, "Hold my beer." Did we actually need an origin story for the slimy, feral aliens who thrive on violence and mayhem? Well, we got one. And to that question, it seems the general audience felt they did not. On a budget estimated to be just over $100 million, Alien Covenant grossed just $240.9 million worldwide.
Now, sit back, modify your DNA with a Cosmic Mutant IPA from Oskar Blues, and keep your nose out of that egg! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Bling Blake are inhaling alien spores to see who experiences the most gnarly death!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – The path to paradise begins in hell! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – With Ridley Scott's conclusion shelved, we debate whether he should've gotten to finish it. (47:56)
The "Paradise Lost" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast gets double-crossed by the David/Walter switch, and then I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (1:17:08)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kick off "Hops and Franchise Entry Flops," with the painfully bad Robocop 3! (1:26:58)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the prologues/epilogues and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Prometheus – There is No Why

Prometheus was Ridley Scott's triumphant return to the franchise he helped launch with 1979's Alien. But unlike the myriad of sequels that followed the groundbreaking original, Prometheus forges new ground.
Centering on the Engineers, it chronicles the creation of human life and the species' subsequent quest for answers that follows. It is during that quest the crew of the Prometheus discovers that those that gave them life had also engineered something far darker.
Thus, for all its philosophizing, Prometheus is indeed a prequel to Alien. Whether the answers it alludes to are satisfying are up to the individual viewer. Our pod, as a microcosm, was split on that determination.
One thing we did all agree on, though, is the brilliance with which Prometheus is crafted. From the sets, to the costume design, to the practical creature effects, Scott and his production team spared no detail in building toward the mystery of the "space jockey" and its ship.
And despite not being as beloved as Alien or Aliens, Prometheus was met with generally positive reactions upon its release. With 313 reviews, it sits at 73% on Rotten Tomatoes. It is also the highest grossing entry in the franchise with $403.4 million worldwide. Capt. Cash may not approve, but the Deacon certainly does.
Now, sit back, c-section shotgun a can of Celestial Paradox from Toppling Goliath, and don't touch that vagina-penis snake! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, Mayor McCheese, and Bling Blake are searching the vastness of space for the meaning of our existence!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – The search for our beginning could lead to our end! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Well, here we are again. Should this have killed the Alien franchise? (1:14:59)
The "Big Things..." Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast spits the black goo in their opponent's face, and then Mayor McCheese challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:39:37)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Xenomorph Flops," with another film Capt. Cash loves, Alien Covenant! (1:49:15)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the scenes that shouldn't have been cut and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Alien Resurrection – Kill It with Fire!

Alien Resurrection was a bizarre attempt to reinvigorate the Alien franchise after the divisiveness of its predecessor. Written by Joss Whedon, it twists itself into narrative knots to revive the series' long-standing heroin Ellen Ripley. Honestly, it suffers for it.
This variation of Ripley is a badass, as well, but she's also weird and barely resembles the character she's embodying. Combined with a sub-par script that is packed full of terrible one-liners, nonsensical twists, and stock characters, Alien Resurrection fails just as miserably as Alien 3 in getting the series back on track.
It's a shame because the film is casted well. It also boasts decent effects, gnarly kills, and even showcases a few things the Xenomorphs have never done before. The atmosphere is just lacking. There is a dearth of tension. Perhaps, that is a sign that the franchise just lingered too long. There was nothing left for Alien Resurrection to add.
Hence, why it suffered the worst domestic box office of the series ($47.8 million). Critics, too, were lukewarm on it. It sits at 53% on Rotten Tomatoes with 85 reviews. Some things are just better left dead.
Now, sit back, illegally import a Death by Design from Holy City Brewing, and watch out for Ripley's elbows in the paint! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Bling Blake are attempting to clone Sigourney Weaver, so every generation can treasure her onscreen magic for eternity!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Hell gives birth! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast clones "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, and then ... Forget Alien 3, should this have killed the Alien franchise? (49:34)
The "Kill Me" Trivia Challenge – Capt. Cash challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:18:29)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Xenomorph Flops," with Capt. Cash's favorite movie (and the one he finds to be the most scientifically sound), Prometheus! (1:29:17)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the director's disdain for popcorn fare and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Alien 3 – Lock Her Up

Alien 3 is a massive disappointment. After the insane action masterpiece that was Aliens, expectations were high for how Ellen Ripley's story would progress.
Sadly, Fox, the studio behind the beloved franchise, didn't seem to have any ideas. Multiple scripts came and went, as did directors. Ultimately, the project fell to David Fincher.
If you told that to someone now, the excitement would be palpable. But this was 1992, and Fincher had yet to direct a movie. Renowned for his music video work, the first-time director had to fight tooth and nail with the studio throughout the shoot.
With a script that was being rewritten on the fly, much of the problems that plague Alien 3 cannot be attributed to him. This is a cautionary tale about wanting to exploit a valuable IP without taking the time to make sure the ideas are worth exploring.
Literally, Alien 3 is just Alien in a different setting with a sterile cast of characters who all look and behave the same. That is the opposite of what fans expected after James Cameron blew their Xenomorph-loving minds with Aliens.
Hence, why Alien 3 suffered with critics and fell to its death at the box office. On a production budget more than triple its predecessor, it grossed $30 million less domestically. Those kind of numbers are liable to make something burst out of a greedy executive's chest.
Now, sit back, kill your mouth lice with a Cosmic Crown from Cigar City Brewing, and reanimate Bishop for some key exposition! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Bling Blake are setting Xenomorph traps in the dank bowels of Fiorina 161!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Start running...again. The bitch is back! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Should this have killed the Alien franchise? (52:48)
The "This Thing is Really Pissed Off" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast learns about the original "Hell in a Cell," and then Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:29:13)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Xenomorph Flops," with the odd Alien Resurrection! (1:38:57)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the Assembly Cut's superiority and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!