Hops and Box Office Flops

Mac and Me – We’re Not Loving It

Mac and Me is an unapologetic clone of E.T., a far superior movie. It's weird, loaded with unintentional laughs, and packed with an obscene amount of product placement.
We're not joking. Mac and Me boasts a scene of the titular alien dancing on the counter of a McDonald's — in a bear suit, no less. These extraterrestrials also drink Coca Cola as their life blood, a fact that comes sadly into play in the film's later acts.
Over the years, it has become a frequent internet meme and for good reason. It's a fairly terrible film, despite its good heart.
Hence why on a budget of $13 million, Mac and Me failed to replicate the success of the film it so shamelessly stole from. It grossed just $6.4 million at the box office. Critics were similarly underwhelmed. With a 7% on Rotten Tomatoes, Mac and his clan were better off dead in the desert.
Now, sit back, chug a Cosmic Treasures from Jackie O’s Brewery through a straw, and don't engage in extreme wheelchair riding down a hill! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are phoning home or whatever the hell Mac's family does!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – How two boys worlds apart become the best of friends! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast supersizes a leg drop from the top, and then we discuss whether this movie succeeds in ripping off Spielberg's classic. (42:24)
The "Big Mac" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:01:41)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kick off Hops and Summer Camp Flops with Sleepaway Camp! (1:15:13)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the Paul Rudd's prank and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Heartbeeps – Request for Humor Denied

Heartbeeps was meant to serve as the big screen launching pad for comedian Andy Kaufman. It backfired.
Why? Well, it's a mostly nonsensical mess with few laughs, and it buries him under bizarre robot prosthetics. As a performer, Kaufman was known for his showmanship. Heartbeeps robs him of all that, instead turning him into a caricature of his own caricature.
Val, the android he plays, is just a watered down Latka Graves from Taxi. Hence why this unfunny mishmash of a film bombed at the box office. On a budget of $12 million, it grossed barely over $2 million, scuttling future plans for its star. Kaufman and his co-stars deserved so much better.
Now, sit back, rewire your palette with a Dr. Robot Blackberry Lemon Sour from Monday Night Brewing, and refrain from telling low power jokes! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are just three dim-witted robots looking for love!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Meet a modern nuclear family unlike any other! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast wrestles a camel (well, technically a bear), and then we discuss how a film as miserable as Heartbeeps could happen. And, we also declare it the Shit Movie Champion. (35:49)
The "Request Denied" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (43:42)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We finish Hops and WTF Flops with bastardized E.T., aka Mac and Me! (52:03)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the brilliance of Andy Kaufman and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Superman IV: The Quest for Peace – Cast It into the Sun

Superman IV: The Quest for Peace is the sad end to a beloved series. Well, III was also terrible, but there is something uniquely depressing about Superman IV.
Perhaps it’s the fact that they coaxed Christopher Reeve into returning by agreeing to center the film on the threat of nuclear escalation; and then as they shot the movie, budget cuts kneecapped the project faster than a speeding bullet.
Superman IV was clearly hindered by Cannon’s frugal ways, but it’s a bizarre and poorly written film, as well. The movie’s central antagonist Nuclear Man has the look of a compelling villain, but his voice was dubbed with Gene Hackman’s. A move that truly put the f%*$ in WTF.
Couple that with shoddy special effects, a nonsensical love triangle, and a B-plot seemingly taken from an never produced episode of the George Reeves show and you’ve got one of the more notorious superhero movies ever made.
Hence, why it bombed with critics and at the box office. Superman IV grossed just $36.7 million worldwide, further worsening the financial woes of Cannon Films. And it’s 10% on Rotten Tomatoes is a far cry from even that of III (29%).
Reeve, Margot Kidder, and Hackman all deserved so much better, lest we forget Jackie Cooper and Mark McClure.
Now, sit back, go nuclear with a Sol Mexican Lager, and broker world peace through a tender hearted letter! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Bling Blake are fist-fighting some whacko with press-on nails and feathered hair on the Moon!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Nuclear Power. In the best hands, it is dangerous. In the hands of Lex Luthor, it is pure evil. This is Superman's greatest battle. And it is for all of us! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast throws Nuclear Man over the top rope, and then we discuss what, if anything, worked about Superman IV. (34:00)
The "Lex's Secret Recipe" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (1:01:55)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Hops and WTF Flops with the indescribable Heartbeeps! (1:16:00)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—Proto-Nuclear Man and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Tiptoes – We Know What We Are!

Tip Toes is an odd movie. Instead of serving as an effective drama that highlights the health and societal struggles of little people, it devolves into utter insanity.
Why? Well, Gary Oldman took the lead role of Rolfe, a little person whose twin brother, played by Matthew McConaughey, is going through an existential crisis.
Steven, McConaughey, is not a little person, but the rest of his family is. He fears that his baby will be born with dwarfism. On the surface, that sounds like general drama fare; but, it’s impossible to ignore how bizarre the choice to cast Gary Oldman was.
He shuffles around on his knees, wears a bulky shoulder pad to make it look like he has a hunchback, and frequently sits inside a couch while his fake legs dangle over the cushions.
None of this is an exaggeration. Add in Peter Dinklage as an insane French Marxist and Tiptoes frequently veers into dark territory. Nothing that happens in the movie is as funny or insightful as it hopes to be.
So, sit back, ease your bewilderment with a Glowstick IPA from Reformation Brewery, and don't yell, "I'm a dwarf" in public! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are wondering where we can buy a couch with a Gary Oldman-sized whole in it!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – It's the little things in life that matter! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast wins a dubious contest, and then we assess who should've fired their agent for this. (40:41)
The "Rolfe's Revenge" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:03:41)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kick off Hops and WTF Flops with childhood trauma-inducing Superman IV: The Quest for Peace! (1:14:05)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the apparent director's cut and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Fast X – You Made One Mistake ... You Never Took Our Mics

With Fast X, our favorite street racers turned international spies again find themselves entangled with another bad guy hell bent on world domination and revenge. This time, it is the deliciously evil Dante, played with the perfect amount of lunacy by Jason Mamoa.
Dante is the son of Hernan Reyes, who we last saw meeting his demise in Fast Five. Thus, Fast X is essentially trying to recapture the magic of what is widely believed to be the best film in the series. Whether it accomplishes that goal or not all depends on how much gas you think the series has left in the tank.
Fast X is excessively loud, dumb, and over the top in all the best ways—but also all the same ways we've seen before. As a result, it does leave one wondering how much longer Dom and his adopted family can keep the pedal to the metal.
Like F9, Fast X's box office is eating the dust of Furious 7 and The Fate of the Furious (Fast 8). Looking to finish with just over $700 million worldwide and with an ultra soft $130 million domestic (as of this writing), the law of diminishing returns appears to be in full effect.
The same can be said for its reviews. At 56% on Rotten Tomatoes, Fast X is the worst reviewed entry since the fourth. With two movies to go, all signs point to this needing an exit ramp.
So, sit back, send your tastebuds drifting with a Dynamite IPA from Goldwater Brewing, and tail-whip a rolling bomb with a crane! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are going full throttle through the streets of Rome!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Not all races can be won! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast street races for pink slips, and then we predict who will randomly come back from the dead next. (43:00)
The "Sum Bitch" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to trivia about the Fast and Furious franchise. (1:08:25)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kick off Hops and WTF Flops with the baffling Tip Toes! (1:19:45)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the Rock's upcoming pseudo-sequel and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

X-Men Origins: Wolverine – Declawed

X-Men Origins: Wolverine is one of the worst superhero movies to come out of the big comic book cinema boom. It ignores basically everything established in the main line of X-Men films to craft a laborious tale of the early days of Logan's heroism.
Throwing in heaps and loads of random mutants, X-Men Origins: Wolverine has zero interest in crafting an adequate narrative for its titular hero. Instead, it seems to hope that audiences will just ignore how nonsensical it is because they'll be clamoring for all the future cinematic avenues it opens up.
Spoiler: They didn't. Why? Well, this was an absurd and stupid way to approach a character's origin. Moreover, it also butchered several beloved characters in the process—particularly Deadpool, but also Gambit.
Hence why critics and audiences hated it. X-Men Origins: Wolverine sits at 38% on Rotten Tomatoes with 259 reviews. It deserved worse. If you love Wolverine, just watch this movie's sequels—if you can even call them that—The Wolverine and the cinema masterclass that is Logan.
Now, sit back, dull your senses with a Puppers Beer, and go on a quest for revenge with your sweet new claws! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Capt. Cash are throwing down with Weapon XI back to back to back!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Witness the Origin! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast harvests mutant genes for the Dead ... Pool, and then we discuss why X-Men Origins: Wolverine went off the rails. (36:10)
The "Weapon X" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:00:34)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We celebrate our 200th episode in style by careening down an exploding dam with Fast X! (1:13:02)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the original script and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Rocky V – Punch Drunk

Rocky V is a textbook example of a franchise hanging on too long. Without any more mountains to climb, Stallone took the titular character back to his roots. Unfortunately, that journey isn't a very compelling one.
Rocky V has a lot to say—spotlighting the transactional nature of sports media, the devastating effects of head trauma, and how sports places profits over people; but none of it, sadly, is done particularly well.
Instead, we get a muddled movie overstuffed with subplots that fails to ever find a clear focus. Lost in all of it is the central narrative of Rocky sacrificing valuable time with his actual son to train Tommy Gunn. Gunn, of course, is not who Rocky believes him to be. He's petulant, ungrateful, and willing to cast Rocky aside with just the slightest hint of greener pastures.
Because so much of this is jumbled in other nonsense and weighed down by a sub-par script, we hardly care when it comes time for them to fight. Critics agreed. They threw haymakers at Rocky V, knocking it out with a paltry 31% on Rotten Tomatoes with 39 reviews. It even received seven Razzie nominations.
And if Stallone thought the fans would never turn their backs on the beloved character, well, yo, Adrian, this movie did it.
Now, sit back, concuss yourself with a few Arrogant Bastard Ales from Stone Brewing, and slip the jab! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Bling Blake, and the J-Man from the Double Turn Podcast are suffering from far too many blows to the head!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Go for it! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast rings the bell, and then we discuss the absurdity of Rocky V. (58:05)
The "You Know, I’m Not as Stupid as Everyone Thinks" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:41:03)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We finish off "Hops and Franchise Entry Flops," with the cinema's greatest showman, Hugh Jackman, in X-Men Origins: Wolverine! (1:51:53)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the highs and lows of Tommy Morrison's career and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull – Knowledge is Our Treasure

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was the legendary character's big return to cinemas after 1989's The Last Crusade. Suffice to say, expectations were high for the famed archeologist's latest globe-trotting exploit.
And, for fans of the character, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull did feature a lot of what made the original trilogy so great. What audiences seemed to be torn on, however, was its over reliance on CGI, goofy beats, and science fiction-based premise.
That didn't stop them from seeing it, though. On a budget of $185 million, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull grossed nearly $791 million worldwide. The detractors disenchantment with it did not effect the critics either. With 308 reviews, it sits at 77% on Rotten Tomatoes.
This pod, like the public at large, was split on it. Some of us loved it and embraced it for what it was, while others couldn't get past its more pulpy moments.
That seems to be the plight of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Some will hate it for "ruining their childhood;" others will say it's just not up to the standards of the series; and some will just enjoy seeing another adventure with their favorite ass-kicking PhD. We suggest you do the latter.
Now, sit back, embolden your mind with an Indy themed Crystal Head Vodka Martini, and watch out for those darts! They're poison! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are seeing who can get launched the farthest by a nuclear blast in a lead-lined fridge!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – If adventure has a name... it must be Indiana Jones. The hero is back! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast channels Al Snow by carrying around an alien head, and then we discuss what worked/didn't work about Indy's big return. (32:12)
The "Space between Spaces" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (1:03:09)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Franchise Entry Flops," with the black sheep of the Rocky Balboa saga, Rocky V! (1:10:12)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the actual crystal skulls and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Robocop 3 – Needs to be Decommissioned

Robocop 3 is the embodiment of when a franchise has creatively exhausted itself. It feels and looks cheap; has nothing new to say; and tones down the series' signature violence to milk the most out of a dwindling audience.
For fans of the series, its existence must be heartbreaking. Robocop 3's ineptitude is on par with other disastrous sequels of the era, like Superman IV.
That is really all you can say about it. It recycles plot points from the first film and shamelessly calls back to things you loved from that one, as well. Its only novel introduction is a robot ninja assassin, whose fights with Robocop are so painfully slow, you will be tempted to watch them in 2x speed.
Thus, Robocop 3's 6% on Rotten Tomatoes should not come as a shock; but you should be dumbstruck to discover that it out-grossed its predecessor. Even with the PG-13 rating, that is astounding. Poor Murphy!
Now, sit back, optimize your prime directives with a Screamsickle from Six Point Brewery, and close your eyes during the jetpack scene! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are clearing the streets of Old Detroit with McDaggett's goon squad!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Chaos... Corruption... Civil War... He's back to lay down the law! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast survives an Inferno Match with the Splatter Punks, and then we ask: What the hell happened to this series? (39:55)
The "Loyal as a Puppy" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:07:30)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Franchise Entry Flops," with the criminally underrated Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull! (1:16:58)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the Canadian TV show and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!