Hops and Box Office Flops

The Last Airbender – Burn the Footage

The Last Airbender—the 2010 version written, produced, and directed by M. Night Shyamalan—is an affront to cinema. Yes, it is that bad; and no, it is not worth wasting more brain power writing about.
Now, sit back, douse the Fire Nation's flames with a Tropic Force IPA from Voodoo Ranger, and practice that water bending! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are riding our magical sky bison like it's a banana boat!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Four nations, one destiny! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Does The Last Airbender dethrone Rollerball as the Shit Movie Champion? (23:29)
The "Turd-Bender" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (43:54)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Live Action Flops with an adaptation that lacks bite, GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra! (54:55)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom – Tangbro and Splash

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom is the abandoned child of a now-defunct cinematic universe. Pushed multiple times and released far after James Gunn's announcement of his new DCU, the writing was on the wall, or in the sand, for the King of Atlantis' fate. And, yet, the studio still felt they needed to tinker with it to death.
The fingerprints of studio meddling are all over Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom. The editing is slap dash, and their blatant desire to rid the film of Amber Heard's Mera is painfully obvious. Jason Mamoa, for all his charm, goes full Aquabro in an attempt to distract viewers from all the warts lining the film's oceanic underbelly.
But, as we all know, one should never go full Aquabro. Despite his over the top schtick wearing thin far before the final credits roll, though, Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom is still a fairly decent time at the movies. The Orm/Arthur dynamic is fun throughout, the action beats mostly hit, and the return of Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as Black Manta is a welcome one.
Sadly, audiences knew that this was the dead end of all dead ends; and, as a result, Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom couldn't even muster half of its predecessor's $1.1 billion+ box office. Still, considering the current superhero cinema landscape, $434.4 million isn't too shabby.
Now, sit back and refine that Orichalcum because it's a lovely day for a Guinness! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are just chum butter in the ocean of life!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – One king will lead us all. The tide is turning! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – With the old DCU dead, who would we cast the old actors as in the new DCU? (29:46)
The "Aqua-Trivia" Challenge – Capt. Cash challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (40:17)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kickoff Live Action Flops with a movie sure to induce anime fans' PTSD, 2010's Avatar: The Last Airbender! (50:27)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Madame Web – Ms. Spider-Cleo

Madame Web is Sony's latest vapid entry in their ever burgeoning catalogue of films centering around the villains of Spider-Man.
And, yes, like Morbius, that hero is nowhere to be seen. In fact, since the film largely takes place in 2003, he hasn't even been born yet.
Our heroine here is Cassandra Webb, an EMT born with powers she has yet to realize she's been given. The how and the why of that truly need to be seen to be believed.
Webb (the eventual Madame Web) can see glimpses of the future. In doing so, she makes it her business to save three young girls who will most certainly die without her help.
Anyway, the central antagonist, Ezekiel Sims, goes on this quest for vengeance for reasons; Webb's most effective form of combatting Sims—outside of clairvoyance, of course—is attempted vehicular homicide; and you will leave the theater wondering what circle of hell Sony has propelled you into.
Madame Web is as bad as advertised. It is a film that need not exist. An origin of an origin, the three future Spider-Women don't even wear their costumes in the actual timeline of the film. Those appear solely in glimpses of a future we'll never see. I'd say the 12% is justified, but even that was probably too kind.
Now, sit back, drown your sorrows with a Depth Perception Imperial IPA from Terrapin Beer Co., and watch out for that Pepsi sign! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are table dancing to Toxic at a roadside diner!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Her web connects them all! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Why does Sony continue to foist these turds upon us? (33:40)
The "Great Power Will Come" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (56:45)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Super-Heroic Flops with a sequel that couldn't match its predecessor's success, Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom! (1:06:44)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania – Shrinking Returns

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania was the bite-sized hero's attempt to elevate the stakes of his solo outings. With Kang—the MCU's big bad in waiting—as the film's central villain, it was meant to serve as a narrative intro for the next Avengers team up.
Alas, that appears like it is not to be. Even before Jonathan Majors, the actor portraying Kang, ran afoul with the law, Quantumania's poor reviews and lagging box office flashed warning bells for Marvel. 
Yes, it did earn $476.1 million at the box office, but that was down from the original's $518.9 million and its precursor's $623.1 million. Worse, Quantumania's 46% on Rotten Tomatoes is one of the worst scores the MCU has ever received.
That critical drubbing is mostly deserved. Quantumania is an overlong and muddled CGI stew of half-baked ideas. It's never thrilling, rarely funny, and squanders its opportunity to make audiences dread what Kang will do to the newest Avengers. Instead, the dude couldn't even topple their tiniest hero. So much for that Dynasty of his.
Now, sit back, take a bite out of a Space Lettuce Double IPA from Monday Night Brewing, and lookout for the little guy! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are guzzling that goo!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Witness the beginning of a new dynasty! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Did Kang work as a villain (not that it matters now)? (28:20)
The "Conqueror's" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (58:42)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Super-Heroic Flops with a movie so bad we couldn't resist discussing it, Madame Web! (1:05:20)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

The Flash – A Hop, Skip, and a Tomato Can

The Flash, despite the character's powers, took forever to speed its way to the big screen. Originally announced as part of DC's film slate in 2014, it would be nine long years before it was finally released.
During that time, numerous directors and writers were attached and then detached from the project. Ultimately, amid numerous legal troubles, Ezra Miller would return to star and IT's Andy Muschietti would direct.
Based loosely on the character's Flashpoint comic arc, The Flash went big with a time-hopping, multiverse tampering tale that would see the legendary Michael Keaton return as Batman for the first time in more than 30 years. That alone should have ensured it was a hit. Sadly, it did not.
The Flash could not outrun the negative press for its star, or the shifting sands of the DC film landscape. On a budget as high as $220 million, it grossed just $271.3 million worldwide. Couple that with middling reviews, 63% on Rotten Tomatoes, and it is no surprise that this iteration of the Scarlet Speedster will more than likely not be seen again.
Now, sit back, build some friction with a Speedway Stout from Alesmith Brewing Co., and get ready to beeve! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are trapped in the Thanagarian Snarebeast's deadly web!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Worlds collide! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – In a film full of DC nostalgia, what was our favorite bit of fan service? (41:40)
The "Multiverse" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (1:14:07)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Super-Heroic Flops with a muddled MCU mess, Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania! (1:26:00)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Blue Beetle – Batman's a Fascist

Blue Beetle is the type of superhero film that seems to be in increasingly rare supply these days. It places character firmly over spectacle, and in doing so, gives us one of the most heartfelt comic book films of recent memory.
If you're not familiar with the character, Blue Beetle is sort of extraterrestrial Ironman. The character, Jaime Reyes, is human, but the tech, Khaji Da, is alien. The two form a symbiosis, one where the suit is able to conjure whatever Jaime can imagine. In that way, it is sort of also reminiscent of the Green Lantern's ring.
All that aside, Blue Beetle nails the vibe of someone trying to acclimate to the insane circumstance he finds himself. And it does so without sacrificing the beating heart of its story—Jaime's family.
Sadly, despite being one of the strongest entries in DC's film catalogue, Blue Beetle flopped at the box office, earning a franchise low $130.8 million. Neither strong reviews or James Gunn's promise that the character would return in his soon-to-be rebooted DCU were enough to drum up interest. Truly a bummer.
Now, sit back, let Khaji Da manifest you a can of Blue from SweetWater Brewing, and fire up El Chapulín! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are catching up on María la del Barrio!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – He's a superhero, whether he likes it or not! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Is Susan Sarandon confused by the film she's in or just bored by it? (31:23)
The "Khaji Da" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (54:25)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Super-Heroic Flops with what David Zaslav proclaimed to be the greatest comic movie of all-time, The Flash! (1:07:13)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Half Past Dead – Sentenced to Death Row

Half Past Dead is the last feature film with Steven Seagal as the main star to earn a theatrical release. If one were to track what came after, that would come as no surprise.
In his thankfully short-lived action cinema prime, Seagal was serviceable. Light on charm, looks, and acting acumen, his unique brand of punishment was entertaining enough. But, as the years and the pounds piled on, the sheen wore off. Dramatically.
Half Past Dead is a window into the next two decades of Seagal mumbling and sleep walking his way through increasingly terrible movies. There is little effort and most of the fighting is done by his plethora of stunt doubles.
This would all be sad to watch if we weren't privy to what a tremendous asshole he is. There are very few movie stars who deserved to fall as flat on their face as he did. Even the 3% Half Past Dead scored on Rotten Tomatoes is probably too generous.
Now, sit back, dull your senses with an Arctic Panzer Wolf from 3 Floyd's Brewing, and get those doo rags on! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Capt. Cash are half past caring about this mess of a movie!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – The good, the bad, and the deadly! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Half Past Dead is an unabashed Die Hard Clone, and it sucks. Which clones of that action classic do we prefer? (33:32)
The "HPD" Trivia Challenge – Capt. Cash challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (44:38)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kickoff our Super-Heroic Flops series with the under appreciated and highly entertaining DC flick, Blue Beetle! (56:23)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Expend4bles – Time to Retire

Expend4bles is the epitome of milking an idea dry. It's lazy, visually a mess, and its narrative is almost completely nonsensical.
Worse, like the third entry in the series, Expend4bles doesn't seem to grasp what made people interested in its concept in the first place. We lose even more of the action stars we all love and replace them with even less interesting people. Sure, this one returns the R rating, but the blood and carnage are swallowed by the horrific green screen and ludicrous plot.
Its greatest offense, though, may be its complete waste of the talents of Tony Jaa and Iko Uwais. If you have two of Asia's great action stars in your movie, then back up and let them make magic.
Sly Stallone, who created the franchise and has served as its main star, is so disinterested in the proceedings that he's barely in the movie; when he is, he mostly sits alone in random vehicles.
Exend4bles is wholly deserving of its seven Razzie Nominations and complete implosion at the box office. And, yet, I still love it. Damn you, nostalgia!
Now, sit back, toast to Barney's memory with a Pranqster Belgian Style Golden Ale from North Coast Brewing Co., and equip your prescription scope! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Capt. Cash are bashing some skulls with the classics at our local watering hole!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – They'll die when they're dead! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Which action star did the franchise sorely lack? (38:18)
The "Lucky Ring" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (56:24)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We retire Aging Action Star Flops with Half Past Dead, a title that ironically describes Steven Seagal's acting career at the time! (1:06:56)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Killing Gunther – Earthquake Love

Written and directed by Taran Killam, Killing Gunther is a mockumentary centering on a group of incompetent assassins who assemble to take down the world's best hitman.
It is a wonderfully comedic and weird film that was unfortunately slept on by both critics and viewers. Grossing less than $200,000, Killing Gunther never found much of an audience. But it should have.
Its cast of eclectic characters do more than enough to buoy the conceit across its modest 92-minute runtime. Throw in a delightfully off-the-wall turn from Arnold Schwarzenegger (he sings a country song!) as the titular Gunther and you've got yourself a damn good time.
Now, sit back, sing some karaoke with a Sublimely Self-Righteous Black IPA from Stone Brewing, and hope Ashley gets well soon! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Capt. Cash are retiring to Austria to coach field hockey and open a vegetable garden!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – They're out to change the killing business! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Who would we recruit for our elite assassin team to kill Gunther? (19:22)
The "Erotic Ceramics" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (33:05)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Aging Action Star Flops with Expend4bles! (42:00)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!