Hops and Box Office Flops

The 13th Warrior – Twelve Norsemen and a Spaniard

Tis' the season of big budget movies. The time when theaters play host to all manner of spectacle—featuring films that cost a boatload, but make more in one week than many do in a year. The 13th Warrior is not one of those films. Well, it is and it isn't
Costing over $160 million dollars—a result of extended reshoots and compulsive tinkering—it grossed only $61 million worldwide, earning it the dubious distinction of being one of the worst flops in box office history.
Based on a Michael Crichton novel—which was in its own way an ode to Beowulf—directed by John McTiernan, and boasting a cast of genuine Nordic actors, The 13th Warrior had the makings to be an authentic feeling period piece—one that did its source material justice. Instead, it became a cautionary tale.
Did it deserve its cruel fate? Yes and no. Though the book, titled Eaters of the Dead, wasn't exactly fit for a wide audience, the movie was only meant to cost $85 million. And it's not far-fetched to believe that had the onset bickering and infighting not tarnished it, it would've at least recouped that. The ballooning budget, dreadful test screenings, and an omnipresent power struggle is what truly did it in, even leading the studio to abandon plans of a formal premiere.
So, if nothing else, it's an interesting disaster. It works it parts, lacks in others, and as a viewer, one can't help but wonder where it all went wrong and what could've been different.
So sit back, grab some fine mead from the Superstition Meadery or a Magic Hat Barroom Hero Pub Ale, sharpen your sword and enjoy as I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), and Capt. Cash battle the Wendol to ensure our rightful place in Valhalla!
This Week's Segments:
Introduction – Our general reaction to the film, including Capt. Cash's borderline obsession with it. (00:00)
“Am I full of s**t or not?” – Capt. Cash attempts to debunk or confirm facts I discovered while investigating the interwebs. Spoiler: Capt. Cash already knew all of them. As I mentioned, he's a bit enamored with this movie. (40:12)
Where Does the Casting of Antonio Banderas as an Arab Rank on Hollywood's Most Egregious Casting Decisions? – Turns out, Hollywood has a pretty checkered history with this, and we didn't even touch on any films older than this one. (54:01)
Six Degrees of Movie Separation and Recommendations – Six degrees returns and we offer our picks of the week. (1:03:04)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter (@HopsandBOFlops) to check out all the interesting factoids—the chronicling of the on-set discord and more—from this week’s episode!

Can't Hardly Wait – A Love Burger with a Side of 90s Nostalgia

It’s fitting we end our “Coming-of-Age” month of movies with Can’t Hardly Wait. In every sense of the term, it is a teen cult classic. Oozing with 90s nostalgia, its setting will feel familiar to anyone who grew up in that highly confused and musically challenged decade.
More important, it’s just a heck of a lot of fun. Featuring Jennifer Love Hewitt—who was at the peak of her stardom—an instantly relatable Ethan Embry (Capt. Cash's high school doppelgänger), a dynamo performance from Charlie “Remember me? I was in Hook!” Korsmo, and one of the great all-time cameos from Jerry O’Connell, Can’t Hardly Wait is a must if you’re a child of that era.
And that’s why it has endured. When it was released in 1998, it did ok, grossing around $25 million on a budget about half of that. Through the years, though, it’s blossomed. And if you haven’t had the chance to see it, there’s no better time than the present. If anything, it’ll remind you—maybe more times than you’d like—that Smashmouth was a legitimate thing back then.
So sit back, open your yearbook to the most nostalgic page, crank the Paradise City, grab a Founders All Day IPA, and enjoy as I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), and Capt. Cash reunite Love Burger for this once in a lifetime performance!
This Week's Segments:
Introduction – Our general reaction to the film, lingering questions, and our impromptu Can’t Hardly Wait-themed drinking game. (00:00)
“Am I full of s**t or not?” – Capt. Cash attempts to debunk or confirm facts I discovered while investigating the interwebs. (39:25)
“Where Are They Now?” Huntington Hillside High's Class of 1998 – We assess who certain characters became later in life by assigning them another character from their filmography. (50:11)
Recommendations (58:32)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter (@HopsandBOFlops) to check out all the interesting factoids—the legend of Charlie Korsmo, the odd Garfield subreddit, and more—from this week’s episode!

She's All That – She May Be All That, But the Plot is Not

From roughly 1997 to 2002, Freddie Prinze, Jr. was a legitimate thing. The peak of that thing, in terms of overall success and his place in the billing, was She's All That, an overtly misogynistic tale of a popular, athletic guy who falls for a not-so popular, nerdy girl. She wears glasses; he wears a letterman's jacket. She enjoys art; he frets about actually getting accepted to great colleges (no, really). That is the depth of this dichotomy.
The catch: He only falls for her after betting his sleazy friend that he can turn her into the prom queen through the strength of his own social status.
It's high school trope after high school trope rolled neatly into a typical "Coming-of-Age" tale that sort of resonates, but not really. That's not to say that the film is without its charms. There are a few; and despite its flaws, I'm unashamed to admit I enjoy the heck out of it. 
Shockingly, for a film that adds little to an already overstuffed genre—and dissimilar to many of the movies we cover—She's All That was a smash hit, grossing over $100 million worldwide on a budget not even a tenth of that. What earned it a spot on the show? Well, like many of our episodes, it wasn't well reviewed, nor does its general concept age particularly well, making for a lot of good podcasting fodder.
So sit back, get nostalgic to some Kiss Me from Six Pence None the Richer—yes, that is the actual name of the band—grab a Hoppy Bitch IPA—shout out to Taylor Vaughn—and enjoy as I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), and Clement Von Franckenstein (aka Wolfgang MacLeod, aka the Irate Lover), part like the Red Sea at prom for an impromptu, yet highly choreographed dance for the ages!
This Week's Segments:
Introduction – Our general reaction to the film and lingering questions we have. Spoiler: One of us really disliked this movie. (00:00)
“Am I full of s**t or not?” –  Clement Von Franckenstein attempts to debunk or confirm facts I discovered while investigating the interwebs. (38:02)
"Where Are They Now?" The Southern California High Class of 1999 – We assess who certain characters became later in life by assigning them another character from their filmography. (51:50)
Six Degrees of Movie Separation & Recommendations – Can I again connect two actors in six degrees or less? (59:28)
*Thrones Talk – We break down the end of an appointment television era, discussing the finale of Game of Thrones. (1:06:30)*This segment is dark and full of spoilers.
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter (@HopsandBOFlops) to check out all the interesting factoids—the head-scratching script doctor, a malodorous practical joke, and more—from this week’s episode!

The Series Finale of Game of Thrones – I Drink and He Knows Things

Caution: This brief podcast is dark and full of spoilers.
Capt. Cash and I (@Writer: TLK) return for a solemn look at the final episode of Game of Thrones, The Iron Throne. We offer our overall impressions, as well as share our favorite episodes and characters. We also shed light on the things we found to be disappointing as we say goodbye for the last time. Though this season may have underwhelmed, we both agree that this was a tremendous, groundbreaking series, and we will miss it dearly.
Enjoy GoT? Check out all of my reviews for the episodes so far.
Episode 1 – The Dragon and the Wolf
Episode 2 – A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
Episode 3 – The Long Night
Episode 4 – The Last of the Starks
Episode 5 – The Bells
Episode 6 – The Iron Throne
And be sure to let us know your thoughts on all the happenings in Westeros—who took the throne and who survived—by hitting us up on our twitter, @HopsandBOFlops.

Take Me Home Tonight – Crank the Wayback Playback for a Totally Awesome Trip to the 80s

If you would, take a trip with Wolfgang MacLeod and myself (@WriterTLK). Where are we headed? To the magical, whimsical, and musically fantastic era known as the 1980s! Take Me Home Tonight is a tale primarily centered around a guy's last chance to find love with the girl he pined over in high school, but it's also about growing up.
Listen, I know. "Coming-of-Age" movies are not exactly unique. The angst of our teenage years is something that is instantly relatable to a great percentage of the population. That's why they work so well. What separates Take Me Home Tonight is its unabashed admiration for the 80s. Unlike movies that were filmed during the decade, this one had the benefit of time. It is able to incorporate some of the more outlandish elements of the period in a way that is equal parts comical and nostalgic. It also boasts an incredible cast—Topher Grace, Dan Fogler, Michael Biehn, pre-fat Pratt Pratt, and Anna Faris, to name a few—as well as a soundtrack chock full of totally awesome 80s hits. 
Unfortunately, and despite our fervent recommendation, this film was a flop. On a budget of $19 million, it grossed just over $7. As egregious as we may find that, it just never found an audience. Don't be one of the people who missed it. Watch this movie. It's not perfect, but like an ice cold Bartles & Jaymes, it's pretty damn close.
So sit back, pour yourself a Most Excellent IPA, and crank the Duran Duran because its time to go back to a better time! A time when the hair was moussed, the shirts were pastel, and Breakdancing was the purest form of combat!
This Week's Segments:
Introduction – Our general reaction to the film and lingering questions we have. (00:00)
“Am I full of s**t or not?” – Wolfgang MacLeod attempts to debunk or confirm facts I discovered while investigating the interwebs. (32:13)
Where Does Kyle Masterson (Chris Pratt) Rank on the All-Time High School/College A**hole Scale – How bad a guy is Kyle Masterson? Well, we stacked him up against some notorious bullies from the history of film to find out. (42:00)
Six Degrees of Movie Separation & Recommendations – Can I again connect two actors in six degrees or less? (50:00)
*Thrones Talk – We dive into the fifth and penultimate episode of the final season of Game of Thrones. (54:07)
*This segment is dark and full of spoilers.
As always, hit us up on Twitter (@HopsandBOFlops) to check out all the interesting factoids—Biff Trump, our beer recommendation, and more—from this week’s episode! And stay tuned for more awkward teen comedies as we journey to the 90s in the coming weeks with She's All That (which, and I found this to be baffling, was a huge hit) and Can't Hardly Wait!

Episode 5 of Game of Thrones' Final Season – I Drink and He Knows Things

Caution: This brief podcast is dark and full of spoilers.
Capt. Cash and I (@Writer: TLK) break down The Bells, the penultimate episode of Game of Thrones‘ final season and perhaps its most controversial one. We offer our overall impressions, pose lingering questions we may have, and speculate on what should be an absolutely bonkers finale. "Fire is the champion of House Targaryen..."
Enjoy the show? Check out all of my reviews for the episodes so far.
Episode 1 – The Dragon and the Wolf
Episode 2 – A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
Episode 3 – The Long Night
Episode 4 – The Last of the Starks
Episode 5 – The Bells 
And be sure to let us know your thoughts on all the happenings in Westeros—the intrigue, the politicking, and the Red Keep roast—by hitting us up on our twitter, @HopsandBOFlops.

Episodes 3 & 4 of Game of Thrones' Final Season – I Drink and He Knows Things

Caution: This brief podcast is dark and full of spoilers.
Capt. Cash and I (@Writer: TLK) break down the third (The Long Night) and fourth (The Last of the Starks) episodes of Game of Thrones‘ final season, offering our overall impressions, posing lingering questions we may have, and speculating wildly on what’s to come.
Enjoy the show? Check out all of my reviews for the episodes so far.
Episode 1 – The Dragon and the Wolf
Episode 2 – A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
Episode 3 – The Long Night
Episode 4 – The Last of the Starks
And be sure to let us know your thoughts on all the happenings in Westeros—the intrigue, the politicking, and the conflict—by hitting us up on our twitter, @HopsandBOFlops.

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation – A Koin-Op Kalamity

For years, Hollywood has struggled in vain to crack the code of translating popular video games to film. Most simply have not worked at all. Worse, they’ve also failed to pay their due respect to the property that inspired them.
Neither Mortal Kombat movie has that issue. The first—which is vastly superior, even if it does have its own set of problems—represented the game in a way that most felt was fair. It was less violent, to be sure, but there was almost not way it wouldn’t be. The follow up, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, was unsuccessful in more profound ways.
Like most video game adaptations, Annihilation is just awful. Literally. Quite frankly, it doesn’t understand what to do with the vast source material. In a way, that’s understandable. The Mortal Kombat mythos is as deep as the “Krypt” of goodies to be mined in the latest installment of the game. Moreover, it’s pretty damn weird.
On the surface, it centers around a fighting tournament for the fate of the world. Dig a little deeper and all manner of colorful characters and locales exists within its framework. Thus, when Annihilation set its sights on bringing the plot of the third game to the big screen, it was biting off far more than it could chew.
And the result is an unsightly hodgepodge. They stuffed the majority of the game’s roster into a paltry run-time and opted to make the movie’s major MacGuffin a gameplay quirk that nobody necessarily liked all that much. Its overabundance of characters led to myriad of other issues—from cheap, flimsy looking costumes to half-baked effects to a narrative that meanders like the shambling corpse of a weary, soulless inhabitant of the Netherrealm. It was truly a dead on arrival dud, grossing $70 million less worldwide than the original
Yet none of that means you shouldn’t watch it. In fact, some of it may be a selling point. So sit back, put on some of Litefoot’s (Nightwolf) greatest hits, grab a bubbly Outworld Ale, and enjoy as I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), and the Irate Lover uppercut, sweep, and bicycle kick our way through a horde of shirtless, backflipping henchmen.
This Week's Segments:
Introduction – Our general reaction to the film and lingering questions we have. (00:00)
“Am I full of s**t or not?” – The Irate Lover attempts to debunk or confirm facts I discovered while investigating the interwebs. (34:57)
Video Game Films We’d Love to See – We discuss the video games we’d love to see adapted to film. Some of our answers may surprise you. (53:56)
Upgrade/Downgrade – We assess whether the roles that had to be recast were better or worse than the previous film. (1:05:30)
Six Degrees of Movie Separation & Recommendations (Or Lack Thereof) – Can I again connect two actors in six degrees or less? (1:07:41)
*Thrones Talk – We dive into the second episode of the final season of Game of Thrones. (1:15:03)
*This segment is dark and full of spoilers.
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter (@HopsandBOFlops) to check out all the interesting factoids—the mysterious, never to be seen Quan Chi scene and more—from this week’s episode!

Episode 2 of Game of Thrones' Final Season – I Drink and He Knows Things

Each week, Capt. Cash and I (@WriterTLK) will convene to unite the Seven Kingdoms, breaking down each episode of Game of Thrones' final season.
In our kickoff episode (because the one covering the premiere of the season warged into another internet somewhere), we tackle A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, offering our impressions of the episode, posing lingering questions we may have, and speculating wildly on what's to come.
Some topics we covered:
Our ongoing consternation over the mystery of the Three-Eyed Raven.
Who will live through episode 3 and who will join the Night King's horde.
And the meaning (perhaps foreshadowing) behind the song Jenny of Oldstones, sung so delightfully by Podrick.
Is the crypt truly safe? I think we're going to find out.
So sit back, grab some mead or wine or whatever tickles your fancy, and join Tyrion's circle of frivolity! I mean, why not? The Night King is going to kills us all anyway!