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Wednesday Nov 27, 2019
Wednesday Nov 27, 2019
The past decade has not been kind to poor John Travolta. His star, like the quality of the roles he's taken, has waned.
It has been a precipitous decline, culminating in his latest film—The Fanatic.
The Fanatic centers around Moose (John Travolta), a super fan whose fixated on attaining the autograph of his favorite actor, Hunter Dunbar (Devon Sawa). When that proves more difficult than expected, things take a dark turn. The premise is simple enough, but its execution is disturbingly boorish. Written and directed by Fred Durst (yes, that Fred Durst), it's an ugly, cynical film. That's fine, if the material is handled well.
Unfortunately, it was not here. The film's issues—similar to Travolta's chosen quotes for his stunningly silly bid for a Best Actor nomination—transcend the written word. And the reviews reflect that. Sitting at 17% on Rotten Tomatoes with 58 reviews, it carries the aforementioned trend above. Travolta is working, but his project choices are not.
Yet, let's leave the quality of its narrative aside. This was the worst opening of Travolta's career. Released into just 52 theaters on August 30, 2019, it grossed a measly $3,153 its first night. According to an article in The Hollywood Reporter (THR), that’s an average of $60 a theater; and in a handful of them, it took in less than $10. Those meager receipts also put it on course for less than $15,000 over that four-day holiday weekend. Note: I could not find its eventual total.
This was a small release, though, so let's put that into perspective. In that same THR article, it broke down two of his other recent films with mirroring distribution strategies. In a Valley of Violence, also starring Ethan Hawke, took in $29,343 from 33 theaters on its first weekend and topped out at $53,647. That was preceded by a three-day launch of $27,713 from 12 locations for Killing Season, co-starring Robert De Niro. That movie finished its brief run with $53,646.
Just take a moment to digest those figures… The Fanatic, which opened in more theaters than either of the other two, paced far behind them. Not great, Johnny.
Anyway, now that you've had some time to reflect, sit back, grab a (or several) Fear. Movie. Lions Double IPA from Stone Brewery, and try your best not to avert your eyes as I the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK) and Chumpzilla perform improv as British Bobbies on Hollywood Boulevard!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction – In what was a new low for Travolta Month, we examine whether or not The Fanatic is worthy of the Bad Movie Championship Belt. (00:00)
Limp Bizkit Album Titles – We honor Fred Durst by offering our Top-5 titles for a future Limp Bizkit album. (36:41)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and look forward to future installments of the pod—The Punisher (2004) and Terminator: Dark Fate among them. (38:40)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter or Facebook to check out all the interesting factoids—Travolta's baffling Oscars pitch and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, and Spotify!
Wednesday Nov 20, 2019
Wednesday Nov 20, 2019
To paraphrase the legendary CIA operative Charlie Wax (John Travolta), From Paris with Love is a straight up Hong Kong, Shaw Brothers Kung Fu show with guns, drugs, and action galore. It is a film that pulls absolutely no punches. With a body county only surpassed by Travolta's gratuitous use of the F-word, From Paris with Love cares very little for who it offends or for how outlandish its narrative is.
It is every bit in the vein of an 80s/90s action movie, and I love every minute of it. That admiration is due in large part to Travolta's performance as Wax. He owns this movie, delivering every piece of dialogue with marvelous flair. Without him, From Paris with Love wouldn't amount to much. He takes the asinine violence and sprinkles it with a necessary charisma, creating a rip-roaring thrill ride of broken bones, witticisms, and bullets.
Directed by Pierre Morel, who hit it big in the U.S. with Taken, and with a story written by Luc Besson (The Fifth Element, Leon: The Professional, to name a few), the movie had the pedigree to be a major success at the box office and with fans. Unfortunately, it didn't hit on either front. It bombed with critics/viewers—it sits at just 38% on Rotten Tomatoes with 160 reviews and carries a 54% user score—and was a disappointment financially, grossing just over $52 million with a budget of the same amount.
But you should ignore all that. This movie came to kick butt and chew bubblegum; and guess what? It was all out of bubble gum! So sit back, grab a Kronenbourg 1664, and enjoy a delectable Royale with cheese as I the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK) and Chumpzilla run roughshod through Paris!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction – We break down this action masterpiece, dissecting Travolta's best lines, the finest set piece/kill of the film, and more. (00:00)
Wax on, Wax Off – Chumpzilla and I discuss how these other legendary Travolta characters would fare in a fight with Charlie Wax. (36:36)
Recommendations – We provide our picks for the week and look forward to the next installment of Travolta Month—The Fanatic. (48:23)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter or Facebook to check out all the interesting factoids—the insane kill count and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, and Spotify!
Tuesday Nov 12, 2019
Tuesday Nov 12, 2019
John Travolta—Scientology's original darling son—spent years attempting to bring L. Ron Hubbard's not-so-classic science fiction novel Battlefield Earth to the big screen. It was a great passion of his, which, for us viewers, is quite unfortunate. His dogged determination to appease Hubbard—the founder of the Church of Scientology—by bringing his novel to life in the vein of "Star Wars" is what ushered this travesty into the world.
Battlefield Earth, and I don't say this lightly, is one of the worst films I have ever seen. Putting aside its shameful treatment of logical sense and sound science, it is just not well made. From the dismal lighting to the awkward angles to the laughable costumes, creature designs, and effects, it seems to be intentionally making a mockery of its source material.
But therein lies the issue: The movie is not in on the joke. Sure, there are elements of it where it may seem that it is self-aware—Travolta's insane turn as Terl—but then you discover that the actor himself once labeled it the "Schindler's List" of science fiction.
That bloated sense of the project's own importance is what makes its utter failure so ironic. Battlefield Earth, despite all the backing and might of its church, was a flop, earning just over $29 million on a budget of $44 million (Roughly $12 million of that went to Travolta's pocket, which may explain why the CGI is so wonky). It is also one of the worst reviewed films of this century, currently sitting at a paltry 3% on Rotten Tomatoes with 148 reviews.
And it wasn't just critics who hated it. The film's initial screenwriter, J.D. Shapiro, penned an open letter in the New York Post apologizing for his role in its development.
As with all terrible films, though, this one sure gave us plenty to discuss. So sit back, grab a Mad Elf from Tröegs, and jockey for some all important leverage as I the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla smelt some gold and start the man-animal revolution!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction – We break down this epic mess of a movie, even crowning it the inaugural "Bad Movie Champion" of the pod. (00:00)
Scientology is Weird, but is It Really That Weird? – I challenge Capt. Cash and Chumpzilla to determine whether these nutty facts about Scientology are True or False. (52:10)
Recommendations – We provide our picks for the week, each of which are more entertaining than this movie. (1:07:06)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter or Facebook to check out all the interesting factoids—the Psychlo stilts, Kelly Preston's cringe-inducing cameo, and more—from this week’s episode!
Wednesday Oct 16, 2019
Wednesday Oct 16, 2019
John Carpenter has directed movies that redefined genres in their era—Halloween, Escape from New York, Big Trouble in Little China—so much so, that they remain seminal movies today. One of those films is 1982's The Thing.
Though it was much maligned critically upon its release and was a commercial failure—grossing just over $19 million on a budget of $15 million—The Thing's legacy is epitomized far more by the way it has persisted. It, like many of the films we have covered before, is a cult classic. But unlike some of our prior movies, it is also a damn fine cinema experience.
That is due, in no small part, to its insane creature effects—practical gore that more than stands the test of time—its dynamite cast, and an incredibly tense narrative. Set in a remote Antarctic research base, The Thing makes you feel as if you're trapped along with its characters. As the viewer, you, just like them, question who's infected and when the ambiguous pathogen will strike next. It's a mystery that you know will be unraveled, yet you can't help wanting to get to the answers before they're given to you in an increasing grisly and imaginative fashion.
That build—the blood soaked journey to the climax—is one any first-time viewer of The Thing does not soon forget.
So sit back, grab an Altered Beast IPA from Southern Prohibition Brewing, and exchange some nervous glances as I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla test our blood to discover which of us is really who we say we are!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction – *Spoiler: We love this movie! And we analyze everything. *If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and watch it first. (00:00)
Our Ode to the Legendary John Carpenter Trivia Challenge – I put Capt. Cash and Chumpzilla to the test with trivia relating to this Carpenter master work. (54:16)
Recommendations – We provide our picks for the week and one extra John Carpenter-themed suggestion. (1:04:29)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter or Facebook to check out all the interesting factoids—the deleted scene from the film's finale and more—from this week’s episode!
Tuesday Oct 08, 2019
Tuesday Oct 08, 2019
The 1980s were chock full of formulaic horror fare. Many of those involved horny teenagers with questionable morals getting slaughtered by a larger than life antagonist. In that sense, Chopping Mall is not all that unique.
The set up: Moronic young adults gather at a mall after hours to engage in youthful frivolity. Unfortunately for them, a lightning storm causes a power surge, frying the mainframes of the mall’s new crack security squad and turning them into Killbots. Sex, alcohol, panic, and murder ensue. Sound familiar? Aside from the Killsbots, it should.
But they are what make this movie so memorable. They’re a trio of tiny, comically cheap looking robots equipped with an equally low-grade variety of gadgets. Oh ... and they shoot lasers out of their heads! Cyclops style!
Based on that description alone, it shouldn’t surprise you that this film was a product of Roger Corman’s Concorde Pictures. Nor should it be enlightening to discover this wasn’t a box office smash. Yet it has endured, finding its niche on late night cable television throughout the 80s and 90s.
That’s where I discovered it, and I haven’t stopped shouting its praises to people since. Look, I know it’s not some piece of high art, but its ludicrous concept is just too much damn fun not to find joy in. When your central conceit revolves around three foot tall robots, who can’t go up and down stairs, menacing a group of slackers in a suburban mall, you can’t go wrong.
So sit back, grab a Five-O IPA from Jailhouse Brewing, and get ready to swipe those credit cards as I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla survive the horrors of the Chopping Mall—where shopping can cost you an arm and a leg!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction – Everything is up for sale in our deep dive look at this schlocky horror classic! (00:00)
The Top-5 Explosive Decapitations in Cinema History – The film's signature kill—a head vaporizing laser—is one for the ages, and we see how it stacks up to similar gore-tastic deaths from cinema history. (43:04)
Recommendations – We provide our mostly horror-centric picks for the week. (57:59)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter or Facebook to check out all the interesting factoids—each scene from our Top-5 and more—from this week’s episode!
Tuesday Oct 01, 2019
Tuesday Oct 01, 2019
There was a time in the 1980s when He-Man and the Masters of the Universe line reigned atop the mountain of kids' toys. Its massive success made this film's production a no-brainer. It was meant to capitalize on the popularity of those figures, as well as the the cartoon series.
But it was too late; by the time it was released in 1987, the fervor for He-Man and his heroic, scantily clad exploits had waned, another victim of over supply and diminishing demand.
It did not help that his huge onscreen debut left much to be desired. Masters of the Universe is an odd movie—one which could be argued doesn't even feature its hero as the main character—and it eschews much of what made He-Man who he was. There is no Prince Adam or Battle Cat; nor is there an appearance by Snake Mountain. These omissions were largely due to cost, but to set the film almost entirely in a random suburb is bizarre. It's a fish out of water tale bogged down by its earthly elements.
Its penchant to cut corners can all be attributed to who produced it: Cannon Films, a studio infamous for its desire to mass produce movies with little regard for their overall quality.
Masters of the Universe was one of their most expensive films. It was risk for not only them, but for Mattel—the maker of the He-Man toys. And it backfired. On a budget of $22 million, it grossed just over $17 million. Not a horrific flop, but a lot was riding on it. It, along with other bigger budget tripe like Superman IV, eventually led Cannon to shutter their doors.
Despite its dubious performance and initial sub-par reception, it is now considered by some to be a cult classic. This is no doubt due, in part, to Frank Langella's potent performance as Skeletor and its eclectic cast of supporting characters—anchored by Billy Barty's Gwildor.
Frankly, it is something that would probably never be made today; it's shocking enough that it got the go ahead then. Because of that, though, it must be seen.
So sit back, grab a Howling Gourds Pumpkin Ale, tune up that Cosmic Key, and enjoy, as I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla barricade ourselves in a record store as we prepare to fight an onslaught of Skeletor's marauding goons!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction – We break down this wacky adventure on Eter...Earth. Yes, it's a He-Man film primarily set on Earth. (00:00)
Our "I Have the Power!" He-Man Trivia Challenge – Though far from a smash hit, this movie has plenty of wild behind-the-scenes tidbits. (44:05)
Recommendations and Our Upcoming Slate – Along with our picks for the week, we offer a look at future episodes. (1:04:23)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter (@HopsandBOFlops) to check out all the interesting factoids—the bonkers idea for this movie's sequel, Billy Barty's Razzie competition, and more—from this week’s episode!
Wednesday Sep 18, 2019
Wednesday Sep 18, 2019
In the 1980s and into the 90s, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were a legitimate phenomenon. Based on a comic of the same name, the immense popularity of the "Heroes in a Half Shell" would spawn countless action figures, a cartoon series (that ran for 10 seasons!), a concert tour/album, a live-action television show, and, of course, big screen movies.
If that sounds like the over-commercialization of something, well, that's because it was. By the time Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III hit screens, the titular protagonists had jumped the Street Sharks (just one of the many properties they inspired).
Premiering in 1993, six years after the cartoon version began, III would gross just over $42 million. On a budget of roughly $21 million, that doesn't sound too bad. Yet if you consider that it made over $35 million less than The Secret of the Ooze (its predecessor) and nearly $100 million less domestically than the original, a disturbing trend appears. Unlike the brothers insatiable love for pizza, the audience had had its fill.
And like the box office receipts, reviews had also started to sag. Deservedly so. III is a mess of a movie. Nonsensically plotted, it's nothing more than poorly scripted pop culture jokes layered atop increasingly cheap looking creature effects. As a child obsessed with these characters, it was a deflating watch then and remains so now.
This may all sound a bit drab, but III is good for one thing: Spirited comedic banter about its many faults!
So sit back, grab a SuperEIGHT Super Gose from Dogfish Head, sharpen up those nunchaku skills (unless you're in the UK), and enjoy, as I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla wax our shells to throw down with a host of bland, generic characters, who offer zero of the nostalgia from Ninja Turtles lore!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction – Major league butt kicking is back in town! Its target: the train wreck that is this movie. (00:00)
Our Awesome, Righteous, Bossanova … Chevy Nova Turtles Trivia Challenge – Noting this film's distinct lack of T-U-R-T-L-E Power, I challenge Capt. Cash and Chumpzilla to trivia about all other things TMNT-inspired. (43:18)
Recommendations and Our Most Coveted Turtles Toy – Along with our picks for the week, we share the Ninja Turtles action figure that we prized the most. (1:11:17)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter (@HopsandBOFlops) to check out all the interesting factoids—the Turtles day-time talk show appearance, which famous TV producer wrote the cartoon's theme, Master Tatsu's video game debut and more—from this week’s episode!
Tuesday Sep 10, 2019
Tuesday Sep 10, 2019
Transformers: The Movie is an interesting study. It's undeniably a flop. Finishing 14th in its opening weekend—behind About Last Night, which was in its sixth week of release—it barely cracked the top-100 for 1986.
Carrying a $6 million price tag, its cost was six times greater than the budget used to create 90 minutes of the regular cartoon series. Expectations were clearly high, which is what makes its decision to kill the bulk of the primary characters from the series so odd.
Sure, it is a bold twist; at the time, though, it jaded fans and did little to lift the movie's sagging ticket sales. Its failure, coupled with the similar dismal response to the My Little Pony movie, forced Hasbro to balk at releasing their upcoming GI Joe feature in theaters.
But, truth be told, it is not all that bad. It's a psychedelic, 80s hair metal-infused robot splatter fest—a rock n' roll romp through Cybertron and its neighboring cities that pulls no punches and revels in its weirdness.
Because of that, it has endured. So much so, that in 2018, it was re-released on roughly 750 screens—nearly matching the 990 it had premiered on in 1986. That is a testament to its staying power with fans both old and new.
So sit back, grab your favorite transformative brew, prepare to engage in an all out war for the fate of Cybertron, and enjoy, as I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla storm the insatiable Unicron with Dinobots in tow!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction – Channeling a smidgen of the touch and a host of the power, we break down this cult classic. (00:00)
Interesting Facts and Memorable Episodes from the Transformers Series – We share some lesser known trivia about the film. In addition, Chumpzilla and Capt. Cash offer their favorite episodes from the series' run. (38:17)
Recommendations – Our picks for the week, accompanied by spirited debate over which cartoon classic reigns supreme—Transformers or GI Joe. (1:07:05)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter (@HopsandBOFlops) to check out all the interesting factoids—how their decision to ice "Robot Dad" altered the narrative of the GI Joe movie and more—from this week’s episode!
Tuesday Aug 27, 2019
Tuesday Aug 27, 2019
Nineteen years. That's how long it took for Superman to triumphantly come back to theaters. Yet just as quickly as he flew onto the screen, he was gone faster than a speeding bullet—a victim of low receipts and a distinct lack of enthusiasm for this movie's ponderous take on the "Big Blue Boy Scout."
Though decently reviewed—75% on Rotten Tomatoes with a Metascore of 72—and laden with talent (a portion of it admittedly troubled, even if we didn't quite know it at the time), Superman Returns was not the home run the studio had hoped. It barely broke even. With a final production cost of $223 million, another $100 million in marketing, and the ugly baggage of the aborted development of Superman Lives, its $391 million dollars in worldwide gross just didn't cut it.
Money aside, this is not a poor film. Far from it, in fact. And it truly gets Superman, delivering quintessential moments of heroism that define what type of character he is. In typing that, I still must acknowledge that it wasn't enough. The plodding pace of Returns turned some viewers off. The distinct lack of action—a far cry from what was to come—failed to ignite the fervor some would expect after the character's long hiatus.
Thus, it has the dubious distinction of again killing the franchise. While Batman flourished in the Dark Knight Trilogy, Superman floundered. He'd be sidelined for another seven, brutal years. And when he finally showed his face, he'd again been repackaged.
That, unfortunately, is this movie's legacy. What began with hope and optimism—a promised revival of all we'd loved about Richard Donnor's version—ended with disappointment. The studio was unwilling to give this incarnation another opportunity. I will always lament that.
But, hey, we're here to have a good time; so sit back, grab a Stone Brewing's Enjoy by July 4th, 2019 Unfiltered IPA, prepare to leap a tall building in a single bound, and enjoy, as I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla battle for truth, justice, and the American way!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction – We take flight, assessing what went wrong and what went right with Superman's long awaited return to the big screen. (00:00)
Why Did It Take So Long for Superman, Well, to Return? – We dive in to the behind-the-scenes jostling throughout Superman's bizarre journey back to cinemas, including all the hilarity in the late Jon Schnepp's brilliant The Death of Superman Lives: What Happened? (38:27)
Who Played It Best? – Through each of the Man of Steel's big screen adaptations, we determine who played key characters from Superman lore the best. (52:24)
Our Kryptonian Quiz! – Capt. Cash and Chumpzilla face-off in a five-question Superman Trivia smackdown! (1:11:13)
Recommendations – Sticking with the theme, we each offer a Superman-related recommendation for the week. (1:21:07)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter (@HopsandBOFlops) to check out all the interesting factoids—Kevin Smith's recollections of working on Superman Lives, why we pull no punches on Bryan Singer and more—from this week’s episode!