Hops and Box Office Flops

Stop! Or My Mom will Shoot – Literally, Please Stop

Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot is Sylvester Stallone's attempt at an action comedy. Suffice to say, it's firing blanks. Co-starring Estelle Getty (Sophia on Golden Girls), it was a spin on the overused trope of mismatched/buddy cops.
The conceit is a Hollywood staple, but rarely has it been used to such disastrous effect. Stop! is a Saturday Night Live skit exhaustively stretched to fill an hour and a half film. It is rarely funny—with in-jokes that become derivative within its first 15 minutes. 
Worse, no one in the movie seems to be having any fun, either. Stallone is disengaged from the jump—more than likely due to the startling realization that his old buddy Arnold had indeed duped him into making this turd.
Critics seemed to agree with his assessment. It sits at just 7% on Rotten Tomatoes with 27 reviews. The late Roger Ebert channeled their consensus best when he wrote, "It is moronic beyond comprehension, an exercise in desperation during which even Sylvester Stallone, a repository of self-confidence, seems to be disheartened."
On the bright side, though, it isn't overly long. That's about it.
So sit back, shoot the top off an Anvil Double IPA from Ironmonger Brewing Co., and avoid cleaning any weapons with Clorox! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are busting gun runners in greater Los Angeles!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – If one were wondering what movie is Stallone's worst, the answer is pretty clear. (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Should this have flopped? In a word, yes. (42:47)
The Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to Stallone-tastic trivia. (1:03:31)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week, and next up in our "Tango and Captain Cash" series: We are the law! It's Judge Dredd. (1:16:02)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—how Schwarzenegger pulled a fast one on Sly and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, and Amazon Music!

Over the Top – It's Like a Switch

Over the Top is an 80s treasure. Set amidst the backdrop of long-haul trucking and arm wrestling, it's a patently absurd film about a father reuniting with his son. More important, though, it's oozing with machismo and righteous tunes.
It's honestly all the best things about the decade rolled into one undersized, sweat-infused, cut-off shirt. And it must be seen.
Produced by the legendary B-movie assembly line Cannon Films, Over the Top embodies much of their spirit. For one, it thinks it's a much better film than it actually is. It also paid an absurd amount of money to Sylvester Stallone (anywhere from $12 to $15 million of its $25 million dollar budget) under the assumption that his onscreen presence would make the movie a hit.
Spoiler: It was not. And, much like  Masters of the Universe—another of their big bets—Cannon's wasteful spending on star power blew up in their face. It recouped only half its budget, and the reviews were equally brutal.
Its skewering even earned two Razzie wins for Stallone's onscreen son David Mendenhall (who played Michael Cutler). Equal parts cruel and tragic. Shame on you, Razzies. He was just a boy.
Yet, I implore you to ignore the bad. From the overabundance of testosterone to Lincoln Hawk's (Stallone) poignant, arm wrestling-centric life lessons, this is a true cult classic.
So sit back, take a Lost Highway Double Black IPA from Mother Road Brewing Co. over the top, and turn those hats around! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are heading to Vegas to drive trucks and break arms!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Best dad. Best arm wrestler. Best man to ever live. Lincoln Hawk! (00:00)
Name the Movie to Feature this Song – Inspired by the Sammy Hagar classic, "Winner Takes It All," I challenge the crew to name the movie that each of these classic songs was written for or featured in. (1:04:24)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week, and next up in our "Tango and Captain Cash" series: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot. (1:13:45)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the banging soundtrack and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, and Amazon Music!

The Stephen King Roundtable

Much of our "Flops that Go Bump in the Night" series has been dedicated to adaptations of the great Stephen King's work. Those films have varied in quality, but none have attained the utter madness of the four films we chose for our last installment.
For this final horror-inspired episode, we stared down rampaging machinery, fueled by an all AC/DC soundtrack and a hefty amount of sugar boogers, with Maximum Overdrive; we gorged ourselves with cursed pies and bad product placement with Thinner; we indulged Johnny Depp's bizarre affinity for hats with Secret Window; and we tried not to look at the slimy cat people as they reveled in their incest with Sleepwalkers.
Yes, folks, things got weird. So sit back, endure the venom of a fine King Cobra from Anheuser-Busch, and avoid angering any Gypsies! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are adopting dozens of stray cats to prepare for the inevitable showdown with the horny, vampiric cat people.
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction – With all we've covered this October, it seemed only fitting to go out with some of the more bizarre King-inspired films. (00:00)
Thinner – Turns out, crossing the old guy from My Big Fat Greek Wedding is not at all advisable. (8:35)
Secret Window – One thing Johnny Depp loves is silly headwear; another, we guess, is corn on the cob. (32:09)
Sleepwalkers – Why are cat humanoids always sexually aroused? (53:47)
Maximum Overdrive – Emilio Estevez, a murderous Green Goblin truck, Commissioner Gordon, and apparently a large tray of cocaine at catering. (1:21:36)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week, and next up: We begin our Stallone-tastic series, "Tango and Captain Cash," with Over the Top. (1:55:00)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the insanity of the Maximum Overdrive set and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, and Amazon Music!

The Mist – Took John Lee!

The Mist is an experience that will stick with you. Though it is small in scale, primarily set inside a supermarket in a remote Maine town, there are huge emotional stakes. Thus, it is another fine interpretation of Stephen King's writing.
Directed by Frank Darabont—who'd previously helmed King's The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile—the pedigree of this one was all but assured. And, like those other two, it is exceptional. It's well casted—Marcia Gay Harden as religious zealot Mrs. Carmody, in particular, steals the show; it's well paced; and it delivers a gut punch of a finale. Sure, the 2007 CGI is outdated, but not enough to detract from the experience; and it does contain some haunting creature effects. Just ask the Sherminator.
You cannot expect much more of a movie. Moreover, as a viewer, you are invested in David Drayton (Thomas Jane) and his crew of fellow survivors. You hope that they will escape the nightmarish reality they find themselves in. Folks, this one is a must if you are a fan of either King or Darabont.
So sit back, stumble your way through the haze to grab a Fog Monster New England Style IPA from Rusty Rail Brewing, and light up those fire mops! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are joining Mrs. Carmody's cult to avoid being sacrificed to the horrors of the Mist.
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Certainly The Mist can be a stereotypical creature feature, but by the end, you'll understand why it's impossible to forget. (00:00)
Lingering Questions –  Should this have flopped? What are some of our favorite movie endings? (51:13)
The "They Stuck the Landing" Trivia Challenge – Capt. Cash challenges us to name the movie with these exceptional endings. (1:16:06)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week. Next week, in the final entry in our "Flops that Go Bump in the Night" series, we'll be doing a special roundtable of truly bad—albeit entertaining—Stephen King adaptations. (1:22:50)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—other great Darabont takes on King works and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, and Amazon Music!

Doctor Sleep – Shine On

As we referenced on our last pod—Dreamcatcher—adaptations of Stephen King novels range wildly in their quality. Doctor Sleep, fortunately, continues their recent upward trend.
As a sequel to The Shining, Stanley Kubrick's beloved 1980 film, as well as a translation of King's source, it had big shoes to film. It does so more than admirably. Credit to director Mike Flanagan for that seamless combination. Flanagan, a rising star in the horror genre, was handed the reigns to Doctor Sleep after experiencing critical success with another King work (Gerald's Game). It's safe to say that the expectations for this movie were high—particularly after It: Chapter 1 and 2 grossed over $1.1 billion combined at the box office.
Here comes the unfortunate part. Despite glowing reviews (77% on Rotten tomatoes with 317 counted) and the backing of the audience (89%), Doctor Sleep mustered a disappointing $72.3 million on a budget of $55 million, apparently scuttling plans for a sequel.
We, as a pod, can't stress this enough. Watch this movie. In fact, if you've never seen The Shining, watch them both. Doctor Sleep compliments its predecessor perfectly and is a love letter to the world that King created and Kubrick altered. When you see what Flanagan and his team were able to accomplish with this film, there's no doubt you will want to see more of his work. 
So sit back, inhale the delicious scent of a Nosferatu Red Ale from Great Lakes Brewing Company like it's Steam, and get lost in a hedge maze! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are doing our best to stave off drinking in a haunted hotel.
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – As a suitable follow up to The Shining film and the novel it's based upon, Doctor Sleep delivers the goods. (00:00)
Spoilers Warning – If you have not seen the movie, skip from 39:45-50:40.
The "What is Tied Cannot be Untied" Trivia Challenge – I challenge Capt. Cash, Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese to a series of Doctor Sleep-themed questions. (1:01:53)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week, and next up: the fourth entry in our "Flops that Go Bump in the Night" series, The Mist! Stephen King adaptations kind of took over the month. (1:16:16)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the meticulous recreation of the Overlook Hotel and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, and Amazon Music!

Dreamcatcher – A Bad Case of Alien Hemorrhoids

Dreamcatcher is based on a novel by Stephen King. King is indisputably this generation's most prolific writer of horror. Unfortunately, for too long, the film's based on his novels weren't up to snuff.
Dreamcatcher certainly falls into that category. It's filled with laughable dialogue, slapstick scares, and a near nonsensical plot. In short, it's a mess.
But it shouldn't have been. Its cast is excellent, featuring Thomas Jane, Jason Lee, Timothy Olyphant, and Damian Lewis in the lead roles, as well as Morgan Freeman and Tom Sizemore in supporting ones. And it was written and directed by Lawrence "The Empire Strikes Back" Kasdan (co-written by legendary screenwriter William Goldman).
On paper, this seemed like a surefire hit, yet that's not how movies are made. It takes more than just legendary pedigree and a host of capable leading men.
Dreamcatcher, not necessarily known as one of King's better works, has the elements to be a taught film. It's part The Thing mixed with a dash of Alien, as well as other familiar elements. Yet none of them work here. Something clearly went wrong in the translation.
Critics and audiences agreed. With 183 reviews, it sits at 28% on Rotten Tomatoes; the users average a 35%. That less than lukewarm reception is probably why it flopped, earning just $75.7 million on a budget of $68 million.
In the end, only sometimes, dead is better; but books are better all the time. If you are pressed for time, though, and high on seeing a man shit out a penis shaped alien with teeth, that does happen here.
So sit back, have a shit weasel bite the top off a Pumpkinhead from Shipyard Brewing Co., and dust off your Scooby-Doo lunch box! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are rifling through all the weird crap in Jonesy's Memory Warehouse.
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – There was a roadmap, but they decided to scrap most of its interesting elements. (00:00)
Lingering Questions – As yet another sub-par Stephen King adaptation, we debate whether it deserved to flop. (59:03)
The "No Bounce, No Play" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to a series of questions about the film. (1:28:12)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week, and next up: the third entry in our "Flops that Go Bump in the Night" series, Doctor Sleep! (1:37:21)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the book to film differences and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, and Amazon Music!

Wes Craven's New Nightmare – The Master Returns

Wes Craven's New Nightmare came only a decade after the original, yet somehow—in that short span—it missed the height of the character's popularity.
Freddy Krueger, for a time, transcended the screen. Toys, a TV show, and halloween costumes flooded the marketplace. Yes, Freddy Krueger, the burned, sadistic child molester, was even on a children's bubble gum.
So, quite unfortunately, by the time New Nightmare arrived, the franchise had declined both critically and commercially. The horror icon—like many other properties we've covered on the pod—had been squeezed of all his juice.
Thus, New Nightmare was facing an uphill battle. After all, Freddy was literally dead. Hence the title of this movie's predecessor. And The Final Nightmare wasn't exactly the pinnacle of the franchise either. Rather, it was a continuation of the downward trend that began with The Dream Master (Part 4).
All that said, New Nightmare did have one ace up its sleeve—Wes Craven. Freddy's creator—the writer and director of the original—returned for one final journey into the dream world. Who better to helm the true sendoff of the character?
The answer, as one may guess, is no one. Craven built the nightmarish landscape that Freddy haunted. This intimacy allowed him a clear eye on the issues that had plagued the franchise since his departure. He knew he could not possibly do another sequel in the vein of those that came before.
Instead, he gave us New Nightmare, a meta exploration of the terror the gloved man had perpetrated for so many years on the big screen. This film is an ode to Freddy, the actors who faced him, and the logical continuation of their onscreen personas battle against his unspeakable evil. And, it is quite brilliant.
As mentioned, though, the quality of this film was lost in the disinterest of Freddy's former fans. New Nightmare is the lowest grossing entry in the franchise, earning a sub-par $19.8 million on a budget rumored to be anywhere from $8 to $13 million.
Do not let that deter you. Unlike most horror sequels—those of this franchise included—New Nightmare truly brings something new to the table. Sure it treads on nostalgia, but it also provides closure for the character in a why that had never been done before.
Most important, it made Freddy scary again. For too long, he'd been the wisecracking killer that audiences were meant to root for, instead of fear. Craven understood that the powerlessness one feel's in their dreams was never meant for goofy kills and one-liners. It was meant to paralyze us, make us think twice before turning out the lights at night.
Sure, we can all enjoy the more approachable Freddy, but he was never the one who haunted any of our nightmares. So sit back, slash open a Nite Owl Pumpkin Ale from Elysian Brewing Company, and brew a fresh pot of coffee! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are assembling the Dream Warriors to take on Freddy one last time!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – In what may have served as a litmus test for Scream, Craven put a meta spin on his classic creation. (00:00)
The "Skin the Cat" Elm Street Trivia Challenge – I challenge Chumpzilla and Capt. Cash to trivia centered mostly around this movie. (1:11:18)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week, and next up: the second entry in our "Flops that Go Bump in the Night" series, Dreamcatcher! (1:23:39)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the must-see Elm Street documentary and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, and Amazon Music!

Dukes of Hazzard – A Class-E Felony

The Dukes of Hazzard was one of many TV shows to be adapted in the early and mid-2000s. Some were good, most were not. Dukes falls into the latter category.
But it shouldn't have. Helmed by Broken Lizard's Jay Chandrasekhar and starring Johnny Knoxville, Sean Williams Scott, Burt Reynolds, and Jessica Simpson (amongst many other notable names), the ingredients were there. Yet despite its talented cast and director, it's a painfully unfunny update that mostly runs on fumes.
The script, which ranges between mediocre and outright awful, has no real ideas of its own. This movie desperately wants to be Starsky & Hutch, which isn't all that shocking since they apparently sought Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson for the lead roles.
Even worse, Dukes recycles jokes from movies that came out over a decade before it. There simply is not enough moonshine in Georgia to make you forget how much better the films it's trying to emulate are. On the plus side, the care chases are pretty damn sweet.
In the end, though, like the Confederate Flag that adorns the General Lee, the concept was better left to the scrap heap of history. So sit back, pop the top on a Drivin' and Cryin' Straight to Hell Session IPA from Burnt Hickory Brewery, and slide across the hood of the General Lee! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, Chumpzilla and the good old boys from the Double Turn Podcast are running moonshine down the backroads of Hazzard County!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – In the land of pointless TV show adaptations, Dukes ranks toward the bottom of the shine barrel. (00:00)
The "Crazy" Cooter Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges us to a series of Dukes of Hazzard-themed questions—both from the show and movie. (1:11:18)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week, and next up: One, two...the pod is coming for you! It's the first entry in our "Flops that Go Bump in the Night" series, Wes Craven's New Nightmare! (1:23:39)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the insane choice for the director they wanted to helm the movie and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, and Amazon Music!

Idiocracy – We've Got What Listeners Crave

Idiocracy presents us with a glimpse of a fairly dismal future—one full of idiots and societal decay. That may sound depressing on the surface, but Idiocracy was written and directed by Mike Judge (creator of Beavis and Butt-Head, King of the Hill, and writer/director of Office Space). Thus, it is a satirical look at a not-so-bright America in the year 2505.
As Judge's follow up to Office Space, one would assume it would've been highly touted. Not so. Fox, who distributed the movie due to a contractual obligation, essentially buried it. Their cowardice was spurred on by a fear of backlash from their sponsors.
There were trailers for this movie that were never even screened; and Movie Phone—the bygone service that would detail what was playing and when—listed it as "Untitled Mike Judge Project."
It's a shame. Idiocracy is quite funny in parts and is certainly not devoid of salient ideas—capitalism putting profits over people, for example. Though it may not stack up to the lofty heights set by its predecessor, it didn't deserve to flop—especially not on a budget of just $4 million (it grossed just $495,303).
Despite its disappointing run in theaters, the movie has found an audience. It more than doubled its budget in DVD rentals and sales; and elements of it—Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho—have engrained themselves in the cultural zeitgeist.
Plus, the movie's got shit loads of electrolytes, which plants crave! So sit back, jam open a Hop Stoopid Double IPA from Lagunitas Brewing Company with a square peg, and tune into Monday Night Rehabilitation! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are chugging some Brawndo—the thirst mutilator—and taking down Beef Supreme!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – As a social commentary, there are relevant points; but is it as smart (or as stupid) as it would like to be? (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Should this have flopped? What was the best running gag? We discuss. (52:06)
The "Ow! My Balls!" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges us to a series of Idiocracy-themed questions. (1:07:58)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week, and next up: We're joined by the good old boys from the Double Turn Podcast to torment Boss Hogg! We're running roughshod over Hazzard County as the Dukes of Hazzard! (1:17:44)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—Fox's decision to bury this movie under an avalanche of trash and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, and Amazon Music!