Hops and Box Office Flops

Snake Eyes – Crapped Out

Snake Eyes continues the unfortunate legacy of the legendary G.I. Joe toys on film. As in, it's not particularly good, nor was it successful.
Snake Eyes, like many films nowadays, is meant to serve as an origin story for its titular hero, but also as an introduction to a larger universe. We get appearances from Cobra's Baroness, as well as the classic Joe Scarlett. The issue is they don't necessarily fit. They are crammed into what's already a messy film.
Thus, they are shortchanged and underdeveloped. What is developed is the film's inability to make Snake Eyes, played by Henry Golding, particularly endearing. From the jump, his motivations and behavior establish him as almost a villain, especially when compared to Tommy, future Storm Shadow (Andrew Koji).
In more trustworthy hands, Snake Eyes' dilemma and traitorous actions may have seemed tortured, something the audience could empathize with. The script here just doesn't allow for that. Instead, he comes across as a jerk for nearly the entire runtime. It's honestly one of the stranger attempts at a Hero's Journey I've ever seen.
Couple that with a shaky cam that even Paul Greengrass would find offensive, a MacGuffin too stupid for even Cobra Commander to want, and a gaggle of giant snakes not murdering Jon Voigt, you've got yourself a fairly painful night at the movies.
Critics and audiences seem to agree. With 170 reviews, it sits at 36% on Rotten Tomatoes; and it grossed a measly $40.1 million on a budget ranging from $88 to $110 million. That, folks, is disastrous.
Anyway, now you know and knowing is half the battle. So sit back, kanpai with an Asahi Super Dry, and don't jump into the snake pit! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Capt. Cash are overstuffing fish with guns for the Yakuza!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Seems like an odd choice to make Snake Eyes the least likable character in your Snake Eyes movie. (00:00)
Lingering Questions – We hear from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, and then we offer our ideas for which cartoon episode or arc would make a great movie. (33:20)
The "Three Challenges of the Warrior" Quiz – The Double Turn Podcast gets DQ'd because of outside interference, and then I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (56:23)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Attempted Franchise Flops" with the beloved 90s flick The Rocketeer! (1:06:21)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the Hasbro Movie Universe and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

The Lone Ranger – Wendigo Hammer

The Lone Ranger is a modern adaptation of the popular 1930s radio series, as well as the late 1940s/1950s television show. It features a masked hero, the titular one, and his trusty Native American sidekick, Tonto.
After decades of inaction, Disney went big to bring the duo back. They re-teamed Gore Verbinski with Johnny Depp—who’d collaborated on the first three Pirates of the Caribbean movies; and they essentially wrote the director a blank check.
In retrospect, that was a mistake, as was Depp’s baffling decision to play Tonto. With a budget ranging from $225 to $250 million, its modest $260.5 million take was disastrous for the House of Mouse.
Depending on who you ask, the project lost them anywhere from $100 to $200 million. As for Depp, his decision to portray a Native American did little to quell the murmurs of the film’s problematic production. And it certainly only shed more negative light on the project.
In the end, the mileage for this movie will vary for most viewers. It’s overlong, convoluted, a tonal rollercoaster, and lacks a charismatic lead. Armie Hammer, as The Lone Ranger, has less acting chops than his horse.
But it also boasts incredible set pieces, gorgeous visuals, and a bit of the quirky charm that made the Pirates films so much fun.
So sit back, grab your tin star and a Lone Star, and prime that silver bullet! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Capt. Cash are avoiding bad trades with railroad shysters!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Johnny Depp as an eccentric character seems like his forte, but not this time around. (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA offer a toast to progress, and then we assess where it all went wrong for Tonto and co. (57:28)
The "Hell on Wheels" Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast uses the ivory leg as a foreign object, and then Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:23:03)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Attempted Franchise Flops" with the latest G.I. Joe debacle Snake Eyes! (1:30:17)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the spooky route this movie nearly went down and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Dune – Spice Up Your Life

Dune, based upon Frank Herbert's classic 1965 novel, has been done before on both big screen and small, but never to this scope or scale. Denis Villeneuve—given the resources and technology—has crafted a faithful and awe-inspiring interpretation of the novel's first half. Thankfully—based upon recent remarks—Paul Atreides' adventure will not end here.
This is literally half a story. And without the rest, it would not stand particularly well on its own. Unlike something like Zack Snyder's Justice League—which has a definitive ending, despite teasing more—Paul's story in this film ends on a cliffhanger. We won't spoil it here, as we do over the pod, but Baron Vladimir Harkonnen and his ilk have some serious comeuppance coming.
Anyway, if you're not familiar with Dune, this movie's fade to black may either leave you jaded or hungering for more. It sort of depends on your appetite for sweeping science fiction epics; because, although this is a marvel to look at, it does throw a lot at you. Whether it is the Bene Gesserit testing Paul with the Gom Jabbar or it's relative lack of context to the mystery of Spice, Dune is not the most friendly film for non-fans of the book.
That aside, this is definitely a voyage worth taking. It may even inspire you to seek out Herbert's other works in the series. Reading is super cool, and so are Dave Bautista and Jason Mamoa.
The Spice must flow! So sit back, avoid the oppressive desert heat with a Corona Light and don't make a deal with the treacherous Baron! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Capt. Cash are getting Spicy with the Freman!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – How was Villeneuve's much anticipated adaptation of the classic novel? (00:00)
The spoilers begin at 10:15.
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast hits us with some Spice to the eyes, and then we debate whether the ending of Dune's first chapter worked. (45:43)
The "Gom Triviar" Challenge – Our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA imbibe in the Baron's finest ales, and then Capt. Cash challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:05:59)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We begin "Hops and Attempted Franchise Flops" with the recently even more problematic The Lone Ranger! (1:13:37)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the extended lore of Frank Herbert's Dune and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Club Dread – Naughty Cal

Club Dread—Broken Lizard's follow up to Super Troopers—is a riff on 80s slasher films; and it boasts a cast of characters that are eclectic, dumb, horny, and ripe for the picking.
This, of course, is anchored by the Broken Lizard crew. There's Dave, the drug-addled DJ (Paul Soter); Putnam, the buttoned-up tennis coach (Jay Chandrasekhar); Sam, the chief of the Fun Police (Erik Stolhanske); Lars, the smooth-operating new masseuse (Kevin Heffernan); and Juan, the promiscuous dive coach (Steve Lemme).
Their characters here are wildly different from their respective turns in Troopers, and not all are created equal. There are a few swings and misses in the bunch. That is entirely forgiven, though, by the presence of Bill Paxton as "Coconut" Pete.
Paxton's Pete—a Jimmy Buffet-esque singer living out his days on his hedonistic vacation island—is just a treasure. The character is wonderfully realized. From album covers, to candid photos, to actual songs, the work the Broken Lizard crew put into crafting Pete is incredible. His vinyl greatest hits is actually available for purchase (I may or may not have bought it).
That performance owns the film and is probably responsible for why it's now a cult classic. Its need for that status is actually surprising. Despite the massive popularity of Troopers, Club Dread fell flat on its face at the box office.
On a budget of $8 million, it earned just $7.6 million. It was also diced up by critics. With 101 reviews, it sits at 29% on Rotten Tomatoes.
To hell with them, this movie is a bloody good time; so sit back, slug down one of Cutwater's Pina Coladas, and don't ask "Coconut" Pete to play Margaritaville! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Mayor McCheese are never gonna lose those tails!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – How does Broken Lizard's sophomore effort fare? (00:00) 
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast stops by for some drinking Pacman, and then we choose out favorite moments and lines from the film. (44:51)
The "Ponytails, Cocktails" Trivia Challenge – Our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA offer libations for the slain staff, and then Mayor McCheese challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:05:25)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We take a trip to Arrakis with Denis Villeneuve's highly anticipated Dune. Let the spice flow! (1:13:18)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the majesty of "Coconut" Pete's music and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

They Live – All Out of Bubblegum

They Live is a bonafide cult classic. And it works not only as a critique on rampant consumerism and Reagan-era economics, but also as a guilty pleasure action movie.
The premise is simple: Nada—played by "Rowdy" Roddy Piper—is awakened to the horrific reality the world is actually living in through the lenses of special sunglasses. That world is one run by an unknown alien race, who are bleeding humans dry and lulling them into complacency through the content they absorb.
Television, billboards, magazines, and even money all instruct people to do as they are told—to not think or have imagination. Carpenter's intentions are about as subtle as a Roddy Piper clothesline, but that doesn't make them any less resonant.
Even if you have never seen They Live, you have no doubt seen its messaging. OBEY, one of the subliminal missives the aliens feed to humans to keep them compliant, is just part of the pop culture zeitgeist.
Thus, despite earning just over $13 million during its theatrical run, They Live has lived on. And its conceit is just as relevant today as it was in 1988.
Now sit back, BUY some Bubble Farm IPA from Clown Shoes, and CONFORM to our collective sense of humor! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Mayor McCheese are here to chew bubblegum and kick ass ... and we are all out of bubble gum!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – They Live is a potent social commentary wrapped up in glorious 80s action. (00:00) 
Lingering Questions – Our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA ask you to DRINK 8 Hours, and then we rank the Carpenter classics to appear on the pod. (48:50)
The "OBEY" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast orders you to CONSUME more pro wrestling, and then I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (1:05:21)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We sip on some pina coladas with "Coconut" Pete. That's right, "Hops and Floptober" heads to Pina Coladaburg with Club Dread. (1:14:52)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—Carpenter's reflections on the movie and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Event Horizon – Brain Dead Space

Event Horizon was Paul W.S. Anderson's follow up to Mortal Kombat. At the time, he was highly sought after. In the wake of that movie's success, he was offered the sequel to MK and even an X-Men film, amongst other things. Wanting to veer away from PG-13 fare, Anderson settled on Event Horizon.
The basic premise of the film is that a salvage crew is dispatched to secure the titular ship, the Event Horizon, which has been missing for seven years. What they find is not something they will ever un-see, even if they don't need eyes to do so. Why? Well, in the ship's journey through the pockets of space, it took a detour.
As a result, its original crew slaughtered each other, bathing in blood and doing other unsightly things. This is a hard R, folks, and we don't even get the majority of the insanity he wanted to include. That last bit is unfortunate because, ultimately, Event Horizon feels like an unfinished film.
Its slapdash editing, done over the course of just six weeks, is unable to hide its story flaws. It's not surprising then that the film was trashed by critics (29% on Rotten Tomatoes with 79 reviews); and failed to recoup its pricey $60 million budget, grossing just $42 million.
Despite that, it is a pseudo-cult classic. Online fans have even attempted to insert what's left of the lost footage to build a director's cut the studio will never release. Its intense visuals, strengthened by dynamite sets and practical effects, also elevate what are mostly pedestrian scares.
So sit back, unearth the cosmic horrors of a Hell Lager from Surly Brewing, and get off that ship! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Mayor McCheese are doing our best to avoid the creepy Dr. Weir as he prances naked around the Event Horizon!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Pitched as "The Shining in space," Event Horizon can't quite reach the lofty heights of its comparison. (00:00) 
Lingering Questions – We hear from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, and then determine what could've improved this movie. (1:02:24)
The "Save Yourself from Hell" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast enters a wormhole to Hell, and then Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:23:02)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We get rowdy for "Hops and Floptober" with the John Carpenter classic, They Live.  (1:31:20)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the lost footage and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Tin Cup – Bland Trap

Tin Cup re-teams director Ron Shelton with his Bull Durham star Kevin Costner. The pairing, which was stellar in 1988’s Durham, fails to rediscover the magic of that film.
That’s primarily because Roy McAvoy, the titular Tin Cup, just isn’t likable. He’s an obtuse man-child—much more akin to “Nuke” Laloosh than “Crash” Davis. And his foibles, which are on full display throughout, are never adequately addressed. One would be justified in arguing that his growth arc may actually be a negative one.
Despite that, there is fun to be had on the back nine, especially if you ignore the forced romance sub-plot; and Tin Cup is at its best when it’s tapping into the more spirited aspects and nuances of golf.
In addition, its ending holds to this day. McAvoy’s insistence on going for it all amplifies what could have been just a typical sports movie. That boldness is probably why critics appreciated it (72% on Rotten Tomatoes with 53 reviews). Audiences did, too. Though not a huge success, Tin Cup did manage to rake in $70+ million on a budget of $45 million. We’d say that’s at least a box office par.
Now sit back, grip and rip the top off a Modelo Negra, and define the moment! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Mayor McCheese are letting the big dog eat!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Tin Cup works very hard to stretch the limits of Kevin Costner's charm. (00:00) 
Lingering Questions – We hear from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, and then assess whether this movie ended appropriately. (53:14)
The "Golden Tassle" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast shanks one out of bounds, and then Chumpzilla challenges the field to a series of questions relating to the movie. (1:09:17)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We begin "Hops and Spooky Flops" with the long-gestating episode, Event Horizon.  (1:24:55)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the inspiration for Tin Cup's infamous 12 and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Ed – Monkey Trouble

Ed is a movie centering around a chimpanzee who just so happens to be exceptional at baseball. As a concept, that sounds ridiculous, but kids movies have worked with that conceit—take Air Bud as an example. But Ed is a travesty. Plain and simple.
It's unfunny, nonsensical schlock, and it probably killed the notion that Matt LeBlanc could be bankable as a leading man. The film's failings are not his fault. As devoid of charm as he may be in it, it's just a rudderless enterprise. Other than the novelty of a chimp—who once belonged to Mickey Mantle—having a golden glove, there's a distinct lack of focus.
Ed ping pongs between plot points we've seen in other movies. Universally, they were done better elsewhere. It even shoehorns in a romantic subplot between Ed's raucous bowel movement jokes. One wonders how they found the time.
It should come as no surprise then that Ed was panned by critics. It sits at 0% on Rotten Tomatoes with 16 reviews. It also tanked at the box office. On a budget $24 million, it made just over $4 million. This thing is like hitting into an unassisted triple play.
Now sit back, ease the pain of watching Ed with a Golden Monkey from Victory, and keep the chimp away from your bathroom! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are stuffing our faces full of frozen bananas!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Ed loves farting, frosty treats, and assorted hijinks. Sounds hilarious, right? It's not. (00:00) 
Lingering Questions – We hear from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, and then make the difficult choice: Is this the worst movie we've ever done? (57:23)
The "Houdini of the Hot Corner" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast drops a sacrifice bunt, and then Chumpzilla challenges the field to a series of questions relating to the movie. (1:12:27)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We conclude "Hops and Sports Ball Flops" with the golf classic Tin Cup! (1:24:55)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—Matt LeBlanc's anger over appearing in the film and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Side Out – Sponsored by MetLife

Side Out—which stars C. Thomas Howell and Peter Horton as Monroe Clark and Zack Barnes—is the quintessential beach volleyball movie. There is a distinct lack of competition in that field, but regardless, it is a 1990s filmmaking delight.
The central conceit of Side Out is that Clark, an aspiring lawyer, comes to California to intern for his uncle Max—an unscrupulous attorney who's always out for money. This fortuitously leads him to Barnes, an aging and disgraced former "King of the Beach."
From there, it's magic. All of it. From the Kenny Loggins needle drop, to the ultra 90s aesthetic, to the incredible montages, Side Out is so bad it actually transcends its absurdity and attains greatness.
Honestly, I'm clearly in the minority on this. Side Out grossed well under $1 million on a budget of $6 million—a cost apparently offset by its insane amount of product placement. It also bankrupted one of the studios that backed it.
But, who cares!? We're here for the sand, beers, and babes! And this movie has an abundance of those. Plus, there is enough neon and Mossimo apparel to make your head spin.
So sit back, relax by the ocean with a California Honey Blonde Ale from Pizza Port Brewing Co., and take a tour of the dead stars! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are entering the Jose Cuervo Classic for a shot at glory!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Side Out is perhaps the greatest beach volleyball movie ever, though that is admittedly not saying much. (00:00) 
Lingering Questions – We hear from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, and then we tackle Side Out's most enduring mystery: Does Zack Barnes conquer his crippling gambling addiction, or does he squander his new found winnings? (42:48)
The "King of the Beach" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast sets us up for a spike, and then I challenge the field to a series of questions relating to the movie. (1:03:18)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week, honor the late Norm Macdonald, and next up: We continue "Hops and Sports Ball Flops" with the all-star chimpanzee shortstop Ed! (1:13:21)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the odd amount of volleyball video games and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!