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Episodes
Friday May 21, 2021
Friday May 21, 2021
Baywatch is a bad movie. Sorry, Rock, but it's true. And it's frankly one of the worst movies based on a TV show. To be fair, that's a crowded field. Many of them are awful. This just sort of treads water among the filth.
That's due in large part to the fact that it is rarely funny. It wants so desperately to be 21 Jump Street. That approach makes sense. Jump Street was able to capitalize on its premise, while also satirizing its absurdity.
Baywatch—despite the wealth to be mined from the show's preposterousness—can't seem to muster the energy to maintain a 15-minute sketch about lifeguards going far beyond their actual job duties.
It's a shame. Baywatch is well cast. The Rock (Mitch Buchannon whose mentor is Mitch Buchannon?) and Zac Efron (Matt Brody) have decent chemistry. They're just not given much to work with. Written by a hodgepodge of people, the film's issues can all be attributed to its mishmash of a script.
Thus, like a bloated body washed up on the sands of Emerald Bay, Baywatch was dead on arrival. It earned $177.9 million on a budget of $69 million—with only $58 million of that coming domestically. It was also lashed by critics, sitting at 17% on Rotten Tomatoes with 246 reviews.
But, hey, a day at the beach always goes better with a beer. So sit back, bask in the sun with an ice cold Florida Man Double IPA from Cigar City Brewing, and watch out for sand grifters! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are staying ready. Forever and always!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Certainly Baywatch was a silly show, but was the film able to capture its utter lack of self-awareness in any funny ways? (00:00)
Lingering Questions – We tag in The Double Turn Podcast to hit you with a People's Elbow, and then we discuss why this movie was such a mess. (45:15)
The "Save the Bay" Trivia Challenge – Capt. Cash challenges the field to a series of trivia questions about the movie and the show that inspired it. (56:40)
Recommendations – After a word from our beer buddies at Hop Nation USA, we offer our picks for the week, and next up: We continue our "Hops and Rock Bottom Flops" series with Doom! (1:06:02)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—Hasselhoff's hits and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!
Friday May 14, 2021
Friday May 14, 2021
Big Trouble in Little China is a seminal 80s movie, and it may just be John Carpenter's best work.
Starring Kurt Russell—a frequent Carpenter collaborator—as the braggadocios Jack Burton, it takes a familiar formula (the action/comedy team up) and escorts it into a superbly crafted world of ancient Chinese mysticism and mayhem.
It subverts audience expectations in other ways, as well. Burton—for all his witticisms—is not your stereotypical hero. He's actually more a bumbling, albeit well-intentioned, buffoon. The true hero is his friend Wang Chi (Dennis Dun).
Their natural chemistry, along with the film's out of this world villains, creates something more than your average action movie. It's truly unforgettable, which is why it has persisted in the pop culture zeitgeist. They simply just do not make many movies as delightfully offbeat as this.
That's also probably why it flopped, opening to just $2.7 million and finishing its run with just over $11 million. With a budget estimated to be as high as $25 million, that's not great.
What is great is the following Big Trouble in Little China has amassed since its release. It may not have been in theaters long enough for word of mouth to spread, but its distinction as a cult classic is more than well earned now.
So sit back, get hairy with Yeti Imperial Stout from Great Divide Brewing Co., and stay the hell away from the Chinese standoff! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are infiltrating the Wing Kong Exchange to save Miao Yin!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Equal parts weird, wacky, and wonderful, Big Trouble in Little China is truly a cult classic. (00:00)
Lingering Questions – We send The Double Turn Podcast off the ropes, and then we discuss why we love this film so much! (50:21)
The "Six Demon Bag" Trivia Challenge – After a word from our beer buddies at Hop Nation USA, I challenge the field to a series of trivia questions about the movie and the continued lore of Jack Burton. (1:08:23)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week, and next up: We kickoff our "Hops and Rock Bottom Flops" series with Baywatch! (1:17:53)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—Lo Pan Style and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!
Friday May 07, 2021
Friday May 07, 2021
The Chronicles of Riddick is the big budget sequel to 2000's more reasonably priced and plotted Pitch Black. Both feature Richard B. Riddick (Vin Diesel), a wanted ex-con and master of navigating the dark.
He's an anti-hero—a man who has done bad things, but who we root for because of his devil may care attitude. It was an archetype that worked perfectly in Pitch Black, as well as the third film in the series Riddick. The problem with The Chronicles of Riddick—problems rather—is the sheer size of the story they are attempting to insert him into.
Chronicles is a full-on space opera. There are prophecies, warlords, intrigue, and treachery. It's a lot; and when compared to its predecessor, it doesn't feel at all like a sequel. As one reviewer put it, it's "Space Conan," but that's not a compliment. Where Conan the Barbarian juggles the heft of its story well, Chronicles crumbles beneath it.
Hence why it was reviewed so poorly (29% with 167 reviews on Rotten Tomatoes) and failed to recoup its budget. It grossed just $115.8 million on a budget north of $120 million.
But, hey, it does boast a handful of classically cheesy Diesel one-liners, some laughable self-seriousness, and a smattering of shoddy CGI. So sit back, crush a can of Old Rasputin Russian Imperial Stout from North Coast Brewing, and prepare yourself for the Underverse! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are being taken to the threshold!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Is the scale and scope of Chronicles too much for its titular character? (00:00)
Lingering Questions – We tag in The Double Turn Podcast, and then we attempt to assess how the follow up to Pitch Black went so wrong! (1:04:11)
The "You Keep What You Kill" Trivia Challenge – After a word from our pals at Hop Nation USA, Chumpzilla challenges the field to a series of trivia questions about the movie. (1:35:12)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week, and next up: It's the final entry of our "Hops and Favorite Flops" series, Big Trouble in Little China! (1:48:28)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the Dame Judi Dench's D&D exploits and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!
Friday Apr 30, 2021
Friday Apr 30, 2021
Mortal Kombat marks the return of the legendary video game franchise to the big screen for the first time in 24 years. Considering its wild success on consoles, the gap is hard to fathom.
Certainly Annihilation sort of poisoned the well, but the 1995 original remains popular, as does its techno theme song. The one thing most would agree on, though, is that 95's lack of an R-rating kept it from truly being a Mortal Kombat film.
That is no longer an issue. 2021's film boats buckets of blood, and gruesome fatalities that are as true to the game as is probably acceptable for theaters. This is the adaptation die hard fans of Mortal Kombat have been waiting for.
But it is not a flawless victory. As I noted in my review, Mortal Kombat suffers from silly plot contrivances, an expedited pace, and an uncharismatic lead. Those issues, however, do not prevent it from rising to the top of the video game film ranks. There is just too much fun to be had.
General audiences seem to agree. In its opening domestic weekend, it grossed $22.5 million—the second largest premiere of the pandemic, behind only Godzilla vs Kong. Worldwide, it's already generated over $50 million, nearing its $55 million budget.
With a decent critical reaction (56% on Rotten Tomatoes with 211 reviews), box office success, and a built-in sequel tease, it appears a follow up is definitely in the cards. That's good because there are elements here that are noticeably absent. Bring on round two!
Now, sit back, uppercut a can of "Stone Cold" Steven Austin's Broken Skull IPA from El Segundo Brewing Co. into your mouth, and attempt to channel your Arcana! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, Chumpzilla, Mayor McCheese, and a special guest are helping Jax pump up his tiny robot arms!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Heaps of hemoglobin and gnarly fatalities? Count us in! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – We tag in The Double Turn Podcast, and then we tackle the serious questions: Best fight? Best fatality? Most improved character from the 1995 version? And More! (1:04:11)
The "Get Over Here" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to a series of trivia questions about the movie, as well as the video game series. (1:35:12)
Recommendations – After a word from our pals at Hop Nation USA, we offer our picks for the week, and next up: It's the third of our "Hops and Favorite Flops" series, The Chronicles of Riddick! (1:48:28)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the insane choreography and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!
Friday Apr 23, 2021
Friday Apr 23, 2021
Fight Club hasn't aged well. And that's putting it mildly. It wasn't that David Fincher and company didn't have something to say. Certainly, they did. It's more that the message is muddled and often lost amidst the overpowering stardom of Brad Pitt.
You cast a movie star, you get a virtuoso performance. That's generally not an issue, but when the character is meant to represent the reprehensible, a conundrum ensues. Pitt's Tyler Durden is a false prophet; we're not supposed to think he's cool; and his ramblings—though hovering around actual facts—are not meant to inspire.
Most viewers are aware of this, but for some, that meaning was lost. Thus, the dangerous fanaticism the film is supposed to expose instead becomes a roadmap. Truthfully, it only has its own execution to blame.
For too much of its runtime, Durden's maniacal musings go unchallenged. There is no voice of reason until it's far too late. By then—like the increasing volatility of the titular Fight Club—the narrative damage has already been done. Thus, despite how well acted, shot, and scripted the film is at times, it can't get past its own problematic plot and pacing.
But, that's nothing a few beers can't solve. So sit back, get punchy with a few Hazy Wonder IPAs from Lagunitas Brewing Co., and don't ask about Project Mayhem! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are fist-fighting our imaginary friends in the parking lot of Lou's!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction – Yes, we know the rule is that you don't talk about Fight Club, but the format of the show forced our hand! (00:00)
Plot Breakdown and Lingering Questions – We tag in The Double Turn Podcast, and then we tackle this very 90s film. How did its themes age? (31:54)
The "I am Jack's" Trivia Challenge – After a word from our pals at Hop Nation USA, Mayor McCheese challenges the field to a series of trivia questions about the movie and book. (1:24:40)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week, and next up: It's another of our HBO Max specials, Mortal Kombat. Cue The Immortals song! (1:37:05)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the Fincher/Pitt bromance and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!
Friday Apr 16, 2021
Friday Apr 16, 2021
Pacific Rim is Guillermo del Toro's homage to the Kaiju movies that fascinated him in his youth. To that end, it is a lovingly crafted and often beautiful film that delivers on the promise of its premise.
What is the conceit? Well, in short, Jaegers—giant Earth-protecting mechs—fight invading Kaiju who emerge from a rift within the Pacific Ocean. And for all the movie's foibles—the plot has many—it does nail it's most defining element.
The fights, in fact, are so visually dazzling that it makes the laborious human moments with wooden Raleigh Becket (Charlie Hunnam) all the more painful. Speaking of those foibles, the humans—not just poor Raleigh—encompass a host of them.
They are unbearably bland caricatures of archetypes we've seen dozens of times over. And considering the movie makes you spend an enormous chunk of its two plus hours with them in its middle section, that can grow tiresome.
But, if you make it through the slog of machismo-fueled, bro-tastic platitudes, the fights do return; and you will have one hell of a time; because if not for Pacific Rim, we would never know the glory of watching a giant mech swing a ship like a baseball bat right into a Kaiju's face.
So sit back, use your sword to slice open a La Fin Du Monde from Unibroue Brewery, and lay off the Kaiju bone powder! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are prepping our Jaegers for an ocean brawl with Knifehead!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Giant robots versus giant monsters. Let the fights commence! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our pals at Hop Nation USA, we assess what kept this from being a huge hit. (1:10:20)
The "Are You Funnin' Me, Son?" Trivia Challenge – Capt. Cash challenges the field to a series of trivia questions about the movie. (1:14:36)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week, and next up: It's the second entry of "Hops and Our Favorite Flops," Fight Club. (1:23:44)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the deeper Pacific Rim lore and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!
Friday Apr 09, 2021
Friday Apr 09, 2021
Godzilla vs Kong is a historic rivalry, yet it has been 59 years since these two giants of cinema last traded blows. That seems far too long, but fortunately for the "Monsterverse," the timing couldn't have been better.
In our King of the Monsters (KotM) episode, Chumpzilla and I were bullish about the future of this series. We knew this movie would at least be made, but short of a miraculous run, KotM had sullied the stock. Turns out, we were wrong.
In less than a week Godzilla vs Kong has grossed over $300 million worldwide, already nearing its predecessors totals. This comes amidst an ongoing global pandemic. Its reviews have also far surpassed that of KotM. It sits at 75% on Rotten Tomatoes with over 300 reviews—a striking 33% improvement.
In hindsight, we probably could've predicted the bounce back. After all, these characters are truly the most iconic. Godzilla, for all his miscellaneous adventures, will always be a part of the Japanese zeitgeist due to his metaphorical significance. And the 1933 King Kong remains one of the greatest technical achievements in film; it's a true testament to the power of movies and their ability to suck the viewer into their world.
So, does Godzilla vs Kong do its titular characters proud. Yes and no. The fights are a visual wonder—a feast for the eyes with a brutality that you can almost feel. The plot, on the other hand, mirrors that of KotM; in that, it's convoluted and dumb.
But, hey, we're here to witness the former, so sit back, pound some Colossal Claude Imperial IPAs from Rogue Brewing Co. into submission, and don't exit your ship in the Hollow Earth! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are riding the Skull Crawler infested bullet train from Pensacola to Hong Kong!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – It's a movie about a giant gorilla fighting a giant nuclear lizard. Enough said. (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our pals at The Double Turn Podcast, we analyze who'd truly win in a fight between these two titans of cinema. (57:52)
The "Titan Truth Podcast" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to a series of trivia questions about the movie, as well as the return of "Name That Kaiju." (1:10:30)
Recommendations – We hear from our beer bros. at Hop Nation USA, and then we offer our picks for the week. Next up: It's the premiere of "Hops and Our Favorite Flops," Pacific Rim. (1:23:00)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—Peter Jackson's initial ideas for Kong and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!
Friday Apr 02, 2021
Friday Apr 02, 2021
Ang Lee's Hulk is ponderous—absurdly so—and mostly revolves around the gruesome father/son relationship between Bruce (Eric Bana) and David Banner (Nick Nolte). Reportedly, Lee wanted the film to evoke the weighty emotions of a Greek tragedy.
It certainly does generate a palpable response, but it's apathy. For a movie whose title character is a big, green, rage monster, the Hulk is seldom seen for the first hour. When he does show up, he's relegated to fighting mutant poodles with a penchant for crotch attacks.
Now, I'm not saying this movie wasn't ambitious because it certainly was. Unfortunately, all its aspirations are for naught; and it all amounts to little more than odd familial drama and nonsensical CGI fisticuffs. General audiences were just as confused. After winning its opening weekend with $62+ million, it dropped a stunning 69.7% in its second.
That is the steepest decline on record for a film that opened at number one. The Hulk does fight his evil father as a cloud, though, so there's that.
Now, sit back, crush a couple of Voodoo Ranger Captain Dynamite Hazy IPAs from New Belgium Brewing, and try not to fall asleep from boredom! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are wrestling some mutant dogs!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Despite his Oscar pedigree, Ang Lee struggled to find the proper balance between art and excitement. (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our pals at The Double Turn Podcast, we determine what could have livened this film up. (42:31)
The "Hulk Smashed" Trivia Challenge – We hear from our beer bros. at Hop Nation USA, and then Chumpzilla challenges the field to a series of trivia questions about the movie. (1:24:50)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week; and next up: It's the second of our HBO Max specials, Godzilla vs Kong. (1:38:28)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the comedy stylings of Eric Bana and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!
Friday Mar 26, 2021
Friday Mar 26, 2021
Zack Snyder's Justice League is a cinematic anomaly. When Snyder had to step away due to a family tragedy, Warner Bros. (WB) essentially hacked the material he left them to bits. Under the guidance of Joss Whedon, Snyder's originally footage was morphed into a soulless attempt to capture the magic of the MCU.
It didn't work—a topic we explored in-depth on our Joss-Stache League episode. That film appealed to no one, but it particularly riled those faithful to Snyder's vision. Thus, #ReleaseTheSnyderCut was born—a fan movement spawned from the betrayal many felt the studio had committed.
Make no mistake, folks, this movie is a whole new beast. From Steppenwolf's arc to Darkseid's ominous presence to the return of the Knightmare world, it's the sequel fans of Snyder's work were promised as the credits rolled on Batman v Superman.
And at four hours, it literally crams as much of what he shot in as possible. Heck, Snyder even managed to shoot a couple of new scenes, despite WB's insistence he could not.
Love his vision or hate it—as some members of the pod do—this is a movie that warrants your attention. It's a win for the fans who fought hard—both in supporting Snyder and for the cause of suicide prevention and awareness; and it's a win for artistic integrity.
Most important, though, it's a movie that he lovingly crafted and dedicated to his daughter Autumn, whose suicide led to him walking away in March of 2017.
So, sit back, open a Boom Tube to your tastebuds with a Galactic Cowboy Imperial Nitro Stout from Left Hand Brewing, and initiate the Unity! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are taking turns sniffing Jason Mamoa's sweater!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – With four plus hours of runtime, how different was Zack Snyder's Justice League from Whedon's disastrous theatrical cut? (00:00)
Spoiler Alert (12:22)
Lingering Questions – We hear from our beer bros. at Hop Nation USA, and then I pose some quick fire questions to the crew. Will the Snyderverse live on? (1:15:51)
The "Not Us United" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to a series of trivia questions about the actors portraying our favorite heroes. (1:36:02)
Recommendations – After a word from our pals at The Double Turn Podcast, we offer our picks for the week; and next up: It's the final entry in our "Hops and Heroic Flops" series, Ang Lee's Hulk. (1:45:36)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the sequels we will probably never see and more—from this week’s episode!
If you are battling depression and in need of helpful resources, or to simply donate to a worthwhile cause, please visit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP).
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!