Hops and Box Office Flops

A Good Day to Die Hard – Davai Hard

Die Hard is arguably the greatest action movie ever made. A Good Day to Die Hard, on the other hand, is a soulless husk that's related to the prior entries in name only.
Certainly, the character of John McClane, Bruce Willis, became progressively more absurd with each sequel. He'd gone from isolated cop, surviving on instinct and guile, to literally a super human battling a fighter jet on a highway.
In A Good Day to Die Hard, that trend continues. Worse, though, there's just no story or a compelling villain to balance it out. The plot of this movie makes no sense—not even a semblance of it. It's so stupid, in fact, that its twists and turns will just aggravate you.
That's not an exaggeration. Everything that happens is blatantly obvious, which is a problem on multiple levels. One, knowing what's coming creates a dearth of suspense. Two, and this was mentioned above, the things that happen are utterly nonsensical.
When you factor in the lack of character development, an unending headache ensues. Jack McClane sucks. It's like the creative well of McClane kid angst was so exhausted by the prior film that Jai Courtney's Jack is just reduced to a cacophony of whining.
The same can be said for the action. There are inspired bits, to be sure, but for the most part, it's just Robo-McClane standing directly in the line of fire as he massacres the hapless Russian henchman who dare face him. It's all so ludicrous.
Critics and audiences took note of these issues. At just 15% with 231 reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, it's by far the worst reviewed entry. It's also the lowest grossing of the Die Hard films domestically, taking in just $67.3 million. It did make its money back overseas, but its poor critical reception doomed the franchise going forward.
Well, enough of that negativity. Sit back, pop the top on a White Russian Imperial Coffee Stout from Sun Up Brewing Co., and heartily cheer "здоровье" [zda-ró-vye]! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Mayor McCheese are competing for the gold in the Chernobyl Diving Championship!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – A convoluted mess, A Good Day to Die Hard shames the franchise! (00:00) 
 Lingering Questions – After this, is it worth attempting to revitalize the character of John McClane? (54:32)
The "Yipee-Ki-Yay Mother Russia" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to trivia about the Die Hard series. (1:11:26)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up, we take a break from "Hops and Bruno Flops" to discuss James Gunn's The Suicide Squad. (1:23:13)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—why Die Hard is a movie that made us and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

F9: The Fast Saga – Space Cars

F9: The Fast Saga—as utterly absurd as it is—is the natural progression of a series that's always running on overdrive. Dominic Toretto, Vin Diesel, and co. were destined for this film's convoluted, bloated, and baffling narrative.
Now, those may sound like knocks against it, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I just don't care how illogical the plots of these films have become. They are just too much damn fun.
Dom has a secret spy brother? Sure. Why they hell not?! Magnets! How do they work? Doesn't matter. Just bask in the awesomeness of the high octane action!
Han, who was killed twice technically in cannon, returns out of nowhere, you say? Bam! Check that shit off of my bingo card and let's roll!
That is F9: The Fast Saga in a nutshell. It's bonkers; it's spectacular; and we'll keep watching them as long as they want to make them. And it appears we're not alone. F9: The Fast Saga is cruising its way to well over $600 worldwide; and its doing so faster than a 10-second car at Race Wars.
So sit back, sip on a Corona with a slice of lime, and toast to family! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are living our lives a quarter mile at a time!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Magnets, cars, and family! (00:00) 
 Lingering Questions –The Double Turn Podcast cashes in the Money in the Bank briefcase, and then we continue to celebrate the glory of this movie's insanity. (40:41)
The "Nothing's Stronger Than Family" Trivia Challenge – Mayor McCheese challenges the field to trivia about the franchise. (56:44)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up, we kick off "Hops and Bruno Flops" with the indescribably bad and disheartening A Good Day to Die Hard. (1:05:42)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the tangled web of the Fast movies and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Legend – Glitter and Bubbles

Legend is a bizarre fantasy fever dream—one rife with an excess of pollen, bubbles, and glitter. These things are literally everywhere, folks. They flood the beautiful scenery and are unrelenting.
Also unrelenting is the film's glaring lack of plot. If you kill the unicorns, the world will be cloaked in darkness. That's the movie. Jack o' the Green, Tom Cruise, must atone for his mistake of introducing his crush Lili, Mia Sara, to the wonderous creatures by killing the Lord of Darkness, Tim Curry, and taking back the severed alicorn.
It's pretty to look at, wildly dumb, and almost entirely remembered for Curry's dazzling turn as the Lord of Darkness. His performance, as well as the make up, are perfection. 
Directed by Ridley Scott—who'd just rocked the cinematic world with Blade Runner and Alien—Legend just never lives up to its potential. In 1985, critics and audiences agreed. It boasts a paltry 38% on Rotten Tomatoes with 40 reviews; and it grossed just $23.5 million on a budget of $24.5 million.
Technically—and again, solely because of Curry—it is sort of a cult classic, though.
So sit back, stab a hole in a Narwhal Imperial Stout from Sierra Nevada with an alicorn, and don't give in to Darkness' temptations! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, Mayor McCheese, and a special guest are besting all of Gump's riddles!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Is the power of nostalgia enough to sustain the pretty, but often hollow Legend? (00:00) 
 Lingering Questions – After a word from our beer bros at Hop Nation USA, we discuss the greatness of Tim Curry. (1:09:22)
The "Is Your Love Strong Enough?" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast hits a hot tag, and then Capt. Cash challenges the field to a series of questions about the movie. (1:27:44)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We finish off "Hops and Fantasy Flops" with the absurd, but incredible F9. (1:40:00)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the Director's Cut differences and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Krull – Murder Frisbee

Krull is a pseudo cult classic. It's got some kick ass box art and a host of ideas that nostalgia clouds as being awesome. But when revisiting it, neither of those two things amount to much.
Why? Well, Krull is chock full world-building. It's got a Cyclops, a cannibalistic spider, horses whose speed creates a trail of flame, and so much more. But none of them are fleshed out all that well; and most of it is just ripped from better properties.
And that's because Krull was a cash grab—meant to capitalize on the popularity of those other IPs. Fantasy, in particular space operas, were kind of a thing in the late 70s and early 80s. Premiering just two months after Return of the Jedi, this just never does enough to set itself apart from the things that inspired it.
Hence why it made no money—$16.9 million on a budget of $30 million; and why it was trounced by critics—32% on Rotten Tomatoes with 22 reviews.
With all that said, if Krull was a movie of your youth—as it was mine—you will still enjoy the hell out of it. Despite all the horrific fight choreography and cringe worthy green screen effects, it still packs plenty of charm. 
Now sit back, slash the top off of a Viking Space Probe Hazy Double IPA from Stone Brewing, and mount your Firemare! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are triumphing over evil with the power of love!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Krull throws a lot at you, but not much of it is executed well. (00:00) 
 Lingering Questions – After a word from Hop Nation USA, we analyze why this fantasy failed to hit it big. (1:00:01)
The "Not the One with Kevin Sorbo ... Thank God" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast sends you for an Irish Whip, and then Chumpzilla challenges the field to a series of questions about the movie. (1:29:32)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Fantasy Flops" with Ridley Scott's under appreciated 80s classic Legend. (1:40:50)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the glory of the Glaive and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Conan the Barbarian – What's Worst in Life?

2011's Conan the Barbarian is as bad of a reboot of a classic film as you are going to find. It's just a mess, folks.
Its script is often witless, contradicting itself multiple times; and its cast—as distinguished as some of their careers may be—just don't fit the roles. Worst of all, Jason Mamoa, who plays the titular hero, just didn't appear ready to bear the weight of Conan's broad sword.
As much as the filmmakers purported they wanted to channel the writings of Robert E. Howard, creator of Conan the Barbarian, it more shamelessly robs better films. 
It should come as no surprise then that this was a massive flop. Budgeted at $90 million, it grossed just over $63 million, snubbing any chances of a sequel. Critics, like audiences, were also unkind. With 152 reviews, it sits at 25% on Rotten Tomatoes (User Score of 30%).
We do get a decapitation and an impalement, though, so it got the violence mostly right. Let's toast to that!
Now sit back, hack open a Wizard Staff IPA from Two Brothers Brewing, and enjoy your launch from the trebuchet! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are living, loving, and slaying the night away!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – The Conan reboot is a soulless slog. (00:00) 
 Lingering Questions – After a word from last week's guests, Hop Nation USA, we attempt to determine whether the Mask of Acheron is more off-putting than the pie from Thinner. (33:35)
The "The Mystery of Steel" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast hits you with an elbow drop from the top, and then I challenge the field to a series of questions about the movie. (52:02)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Fantasy Flops" with Krull. (1:00:21)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the legacy of the Conan character and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

The Void – Right Next Door to Hell

From the directing team of Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski—the latter of which directed indie hit PG: Psycho Goreman—The Void is a tension-fueled ride that relies heavily on practical effects and pace to maximize its sense of dread. It works.
And it is worth your investigation, especially if you are a fan of Lovecraftian horror. Those inspirations are quite evident. The Void involves a cult, a small town, and the cosmic terrors that lie outside our consciousness. That conceit isn't all that original, but its execution is what sets the film apart.
From its ominous opening onward, Gillespie and Kostanski build an uneasy atmosphere—an uncertainty akin to what lurks beyond. The answers, of course, come, but when they do, you almost wish they hadn't.
This is due in large part to its creature designs, which are some of the more inspired in modern horror. Most impressive, they were accomplished on a shoestring budget. They crowd-funded $82,000 on Indiegogo to make them.
With a low production cost and a good reception (77% on Rotten Tomatoes with 75 reviews), it should've been a hit. But due to a limited release, it grossed just $149,365. Trust us, don't sleep on this one.
Now sit back, open a portal to your tastebuds with either a Poker Face Black IPA from Necromancer or a Cosmik Debris Double IPA from Creature Comforts, and don't approach the man in the robe! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and our beer bros from Hop Nation USA are joining a cult to unlock our best selves!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – The Void nails atmospheric horror and is an excellent ode to the works of H.P. Lovecraft. (00:00) 
 Lingering Questions – Though it never received a wide release, did this film achieve what it set out to? More important, which of its gnarly creature effects was the most stomach-turning? (29:38)
The "Avoid the Void" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to a series of questions relating to people involved with the movie. (1:03:50)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kick off "Hops and Fantasy Flops" with the disastrous 2011 reboot of John Milius' 1982 classic, Conan the Barbarian. (1:15:21)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—an interview with the directors and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

The Rundown – Rock and Walk Connection

The Rundown is a legitimately good action movie. Directed by Peter Berg, in what was his second feature film, it showcases the Rock's size and athletic abilities—while also utilizing his expansive charm.
It was an indicator for how well rounded he could be as a leading man. One of the movie's tests of that is its pairing of him with Seann Williams Scott and Christopher Walken. The former is his comedic foil; the latter is the film's villain.
Scott has rarely been less funny, leaving much of the burden on the Rock to carry their interactions. Walken, on the other hand, is incredible as Hatcher, an oppressive prospector who's enslaved the town they find themselves in. The fact that a green Rock could hang with the insanity of his scene chewing is quite impressive.
More important, unlike Walking Tall and Doom, The Rundown boasts a host of excellent action scenes. From busting up football players in a club to dueling three whip-wielding henchman, the Rock's muscles are put to a stiff test. Spoiler alert: He passes it.
Unfortunately, audiences did not show up to witness that. Budgeted at $85 million, it failed to crack that mark. A disappointing turn for one of his best early works.
I mean, it features an Arnold Schwarzenegger cameo! Who isn't here for that?
So sit back, whip the top off a Dayglow IPA from Elysian Brewing Co., and don't choose Option B! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and J-Man from the Double Turn Podcast are on a quest for O Gato Do Diablo!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Easily the best early film of the Rock's career, The Rundown established what he was cooking. (00:00) 
 Lingering Questions – We hear from our beer bros at Hop Nation USA, and ask the important questions—such as which of the Rock's characters from "Hops and Rock Bottom Flops" is the toughest. (38:32)
The "Helldorado" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to a series of trivia questions about the movie. (59:48)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We have a special episode featuring our buddies from Hop Nation USA, The Void. (1:09:12)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the potential for a sequel and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Walking Tall – Swing and a Miss

Walking Tall is a remake of 1973 film starring Joe Don Baker. It's also "inspired" by a real-life sheriff, Buford Pusser, who patrolled the crime-laden streets of McNairy County, Tennessee, with a crudely fashioned cudgel.
That's essentially the movie. The Rock walks softly and carries a big stick. As a conceit, that sounds like it could be pretty badass. Walking Tall is just executed poorly.
It's hokey and feels far more like straight-to-DVD fare than an action showcase for its star. Worse, the fisticuffs and fireworks just can't sustain the silly plot that surround them.
There's an entire shootout where the Rock's paramour just wears her bra because ... reasons. It's a dumb movie, folks. So, not shockingly, critics hated it. It's 26% on Rotten Tomatoes with 126 reviews.
At the box office, it bombed, as well. It earned just over $57 million on a budget of $46. That's a far cry from the $40 million the 1973 version grossed  on a cost of just $500,000.
There's no amount of corny courtroom speeches to redeem that. So sit back, club open a Luau Krunkles POG IPA from Terrapin Beer Co. with a 4x4, and don't roll those loaded dice! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are administering street justice with our Pusser Sticks!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – As a star vehicle for the Rock, does Walking Tall do enough to utilize his talents? (00:00) 
 Lingering Questions – We hear from our beer bros at Hop Nation USA, and then we discuss what could've made this movie far more interesting. Spoiler: It's mainly casting all wrestlers. (50:29)
The "Big Stick" Trivia Challenge – After a word from the podcasting world's Hart Foundation, The Double Turn Podcast, Chumpzilla challenges the field to a series of trivia questions about the movie and the man who inspired it, Sheriff Buford Pusser. (1:05:30)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We finish off "Hops and Rock Bottom Flops" with The Rundown—featuring the aforementioned Double Turn! (1:15:36)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the Piledriver music video and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Doom – Dull, Dark, and Dumb

Doom carries on the proud tradition of terrible video game movies. It's bad, folks. Real bad. Most offensive, it basically does nothing to harness the insanity of the property that inspired it.
This is a Doom movie in name only. Sure, the BFG is in it, sort of; and there are hellacious creatures. They are just mostly uninspired fare. Well, maybe they're inspired, but you can't see them because the whole film is so damn dark.
Outside of the first-person shooter scene, which channels the spirit of the game excellently, this thing is as boring as they come. With a poor script, trope-tastic characters, and aimless direction, Doom opened the portal to hell for anyone dumb enough to pay to see it. Anecdotally, McCheese and I were two of the dolts who did. 
Worse than offending your average moviegoer, it grossed a dismal $58.7 million on a budget of $65 million; and it was battered by critics. It took such a beating—18% on Rotten Tomatoes with 138 reviews—not even "God Mode" could save it.
Anyway, sit back, use your chainsaw to open a Liquid Poem Double IPA from Stone Brewing Co., and don't get stuck in the nano-wall! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are priming the BFG (to shoot absolutely nothing)!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Doom, like most movies based on video games, doesn't capitalize on the property. (00:00) 
 Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast unveils what the Rock is cooking, and then we discuss what could've fixed this disaster. (47:20)
The "BFG" Trivia Challenge – Mayor McCheese challenges the field to a series of trivia questions about the game that inspired the movie. (1:03:03)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Rock Bottom Flops" with Walking Tall! (1:13:20)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the game's easter eggs and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!