Hops and Box Office Flops

Out Cold – Playboy Bunny Slope

Out Cold is like someone spliced Caddyshack and Mallrats. In principle, that sounds awesome, right?
Well, unfortunately, that's more in terms of concept—a group of shiftless park rats bumming around their place of work—and the presence of a London brother. In Out Cold, it's Jason, rather than Jeremy.
I guess there's slightly more to it. They do have to save their fledgling ski resort from an evil corporate stooge, John Majors (played by the legendary Lee Majors, how clever). And there's a baffling love triangle that makes less than a semblance of sense.
If this sounds too harsh, I apologize. After all, this wonderful film does contain a polar bear licking salt off someone's balls; that same someone having sex with a whirlpool jet; and a mechanical bull appearing to climax during a rough ride. I'd say the 90s were a lawless time, but this came out in 2001.
Anyway, sit back, chug some Christmas Ale from Great Lakes Brewing Co., and hit the slopes! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Mayor McCheese, Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are shredding some fresh gnar sans pants to determine who's King of the Mountain!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Snowboards, female objectification, dated jokes, and booze. (00:00)
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast breaks a snowboard like it's a table, and then we discuss whether or not there is actual comedy in this movie. (29:48)
The "King of the Mountain" Trivia Challenge – We hear from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, and then Mayor McCheese challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (44:22)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Jingle Bell Flops" with a a video game quest that echoed a familiar pursuit of my own childhood 8-Bit Christmas! (51:47)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Home Sweet Home Alone – Make It Stop

Home Sweet Home Alone is the epitome of a lazy, soulless rehash; and, quite frankly, it is the antithesis of how you leverage a valuable IP.
Disney should be ashamed. With their abundance of resources, they trotted out not only one of the worst films of the year, it's one of the worst of the decade. Home Sweet Home Alone is never funny. It is quite often painful, though, and that's not including the myriad of death traps the "burglars" are forced to endure.
I use quotes because the "antagonists" are anything but that. They're actually just a struggling family attempting to retrieve a priceless doll they believe to be stolen. Thus, instead of relishing in the pain of two would-be felons, you are essentially tasked with laughing at two broke parents. Hooray!
Not really, this whole endeavor is about as bad as taking a bag of sugar to the privates or a well-aimed pool ball to the cranium.
Hence, to watch it, you must drink. So sit back, knock down a few Big Shanty Graham Cracker Stouts from Burnt Hickory Brewing, and prime the dart gun! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Mayor McCheese, and Chumpzilla are avoiding that little jerk's boobytraps!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – This movie is an absolute travesty. (00:00)
Lingering Questions – We hear from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, and then lament all the idiotic gags this movie throws at you. (40:53)
The "Look What You Did, You Little Jerk" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast rigs the turnbuckle to break, and then Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:04:12)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Jingle Bell Flops" with Out Cold, which isn't technically a Christmas movie, but there's snow in it! (1:12:06)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—why this clown show happened and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Terminator Genisys – Rotten Member Berries

Terminator Genisys is a hodgepodge of ideas from more beloved Terminator films. It gives us the gruff and tough Sarah Connor, as well as the sleek and dangerous T-1000; and it even features an Arnold versus Arnold face-off in 1984 amid the familiar backdrop of the original T-800's arrival. There's only one issue: None of it particularly works.
Terminator Genisys feels more like half-baked fan fiction than it does a coherent narrative. Thus, despite how much we all love those elements and moments from the prior movies, they come across as shameless pandering here. Pair that with a convoluted script that hops through time more often than Dr. Sam Beckett, and it's a recipe for reboot disaster.
Now, it's not all bad. There are some good ideas in Terminator Genisys. Establishing connective technology as sort of a Trojan horse for Skynet is not without its merits. But, there is just so much happening that is uninteresting. With two leads (Emilia Clarke as Sarah Connor and Jai Courtney as Kyle Reese) who lack even a semblance of chemistry, those flaws become even more apparent.
Hence why this movie bombed with critics and domestic audiences. It sits at 27% on Rotten Tomatoes with 274 reviews; and it grossed just $89.7 million in North America. Its global cume helped it save face ($440.6 million), but it was still not enough to keep it out of the red.
Listen, you could watch this, but these versions of the characters won't be back. So come with us if you want to drink some future-infused Spaten Optimator, while hunting down those goddamn time traveling robots! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are tumbling through time in our birthday suits!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Woof ... where to begin? Never has a movie failed so hard to grasp what made the fans love the characters of its series. (00:00)
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast heads to 1997 to prevent the Montreal Screwjob, and then we discuss what could've fixed this travesty. (53:23)
The "Judgement Day" Trivia Challenge – We hear from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, and then I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (1:19:11)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kick off "Hops and Jingle Bell Flops" with a movie that will make you root for the burglars, Home Sweet Home Alone! (1:32:23)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the aborted sequels and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

The Rocketeer – The Antifa Adventurer that isn’t Dr. Jones

The Rocketeer is a beloved 1991 Disney film. Based on Dave Stevens' comic series, which debuted in 1982, it revolves around stunt pilot Cliff Secord's (Bill Campbell) fortuitous discovery of a jetpack created by Howard Hughes. Of course, adventure ensues.
The character was created as a tribute to the 1930s serials that had inspired wonder in the youth of their day. Both the comics and film execute that homage perfectly. The Rocketeer is indeed a cult classic. Loaded with charm—which is anchored by the majestic score of James Horner—it serves as a delightful reminder of the comic book films of yesteryear. Those films had to rely far less on CGI and far more on making the viewers organically believe in the magic they were presenting.
They also had a much slimmer margin for error. They weren't the commodity they are now, so there wasn't an excess of "superhero" cinema.
Unfortunately for The Rocketeer, it failed to take flight at the box office. It grossed just $46.7 million on a budget of $40 million, sending the sequel plans to the crap heap.
The good news: Despite some dodgy green screen here and there, it remains a very enjoyable time; and its enduring appeal seems to be leading to a sequel series for Disney+!
So sit back, blast off with a Hazecraft IPA from Great Lakes Brewing Co., and don't let Lothar snap you in half! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash and two special guests are punching Nazis and crashing zeppelins!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – 30 years later, The Rocketeer still packs plenty of fun. (00:00)
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast tunes up the band, and then we discuss why this film should've soared, rather than crashed, at the box office. (56:16)
The "Rocket Man" Trivia Challenge – We hear from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, and then Capt. Cash challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:14:42)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We finish off "Hops and Attempted Franchise Flops" with the least self-aware Skynet creation, Terminator Genisys! (1:22:10)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the upcoming reboot and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Snake Eyes – Crapped Out

Snake Eyes continues the unfortunate legacy of the legendary G.I. Joe toys on film. As in, it's not particularly good, nor was it successful.
Snake Eyes, like many films nowadays, is meant to serve as an origin story for its titular hero, but also as an introduction to a larger universe. We get appearances from Cobra's Baroness, as well as the classic Joe Scarlett. The issue is they don't necessarily fit. They are crammed into what's already a messy film.
Thus, they are shortchanged and underdeveloped. What is developed is the film's inability to make Snake Eyes, played by Henry Golding, particularly endearing. From the jump, his motivations and behavior establish him as almost a villain, especially when compared to Tommy, future Storm Shadow (Andrew Koji).
In more trustworthy hands, Snake Eyes' dilemma and traitorous actions may have seemed tortured, something the audience could empathize with. The script here just doesn't allow for that. Instead, he comes across as a jerk for nearly the entire runtime. It's honestly one of the stranger attempts at a Hero's Journey I've ever seen.
Couple that with a shaky cam that even Paul Greengrass would find offensive, a MacGuffin too stupid for even Cobra Commander to want, and a gaggle of giant snakes not murdering Jon Voigt, you've got yourself a fairly painful night at the movies.
Critics and audiences seem to agree. With 170 reviews, it sits at 36% on Rotten Tomatoes; and it grossed a measly $40.1 million on a budget ranging from $88 to $110 million. That, folks, is disastrous.
Anyway, now you know and knowing is half the battle. So sit back, kanpai with an Asahi Super Dry, and don't jump into the snake pit! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Capt. Cash are overstuffing fish with guns for the Yakuza!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Seems like an odd choice to make Snake Eyes the least likable character in your Snake Eyes movie. (00:00)
Lingering Questions – We hear from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, and then we offer our ideas for which cartoon episode or arc would make a great movie. (33:20)
The "Three Challenges of the Warrior" Quiz – The Double Turn Podcast gets DQ'd because of outside interference, and then I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (56:23)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Attempted Franchise Flops" with the beloved 90s flick The Rocketeer! (1:06:21)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the Hasbro Movie Universe and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

The Lone Ranger – Wendigo Hammer

The Lone Ranger is a modern adaptation of the popular 1930s radio series, as well as the late 1940s/1950s television show. It features a masked hero, the titular one, and his trusty Native American sidekick, Tonto.
After decades of inaction, Disney went big to bring the duo back. They re-teamed Gore Verbinski with Johnny Depp—who’d collaborated on the first three Pirates of the Caribbean movies; and they essentially wrote the director a blank check.
In retrospect, that was a mistake, as was Depp’s baffling decision to play Tonto. With a budget ranging from $225 to $250 million, its modest $260.5 million take was disastrous for the House of Mouse.
Depending on who you ask, the project lost them anywhere from $100 to $200 million. As for Depp, his decision to portray a Native American did little to quell the murmurs of the film’s problematic production. And it certainly only shed more negative light on the project.
In the end, the mileage for this movie will vary for most viewers. It’s overlong, convoluted, a tonal rollercoaster, and lacks a charismatic lead. Armie Hammer, as The Lone Ranger, has less acting chops than his horse.
But it also boasts incredible set pieces, gorgeous visuals, and a bit of the quirky charm that made the Pirates films so much fun.
So sit back, grab your tin star and a Lone Star, and prime that silver bullet! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Capt. Cash are avoiding bad trades with railroad shysters!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Johnny Depp as an eccentric character seems like his forte, but not this time around. (00:00)
Lingering Questions – Our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA offer a toast to progress, and then we assess where it all went wrong for Tonto and co. (57:28)
The "Hell on Wheels" Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast uses the ivory leg as a foreign object, and then Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:23:03)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Attempted Franchise Flops" with the latest G.I. Joe debacle Snake Eyes! (1:30:17)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the spooky route this movie nearly went down and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Dune – Spice Up Your Life

Dune, based upon Frank Herbert's classic 1965 novel, has been done before on both big screen and small, but never to this scope or scale. Denis Villeneuve—given the resources and technology—has crafted a faithful and awe-inspiring interpretation of the novel's first half. Thankfully—based upon recent remarks—Paul Atreides' adventure will not end here.
This is literally half a story. And without the rest, it would not stand particularly well on its own. Unlike something like Zack Snyder's Justice League—which has a definitive ending, despite teasing more—Paul's story in this film ends on a cliffhanger. We won't spoil it here, as we do over the pod, but Baron Vladimir Harkonnen and his ilk have some serious comeuppance coming.
Anyway, if you're not familiar with Dune, this movie's fade to black may either leave you jaded or hungering for more. It sort of depends on your appetite for sweeping science fiction epics; because, although this is a marvel to look at, it does throw a lot at you. Whether it is the Bene Gesserit testing Paul with the Gom Jabbar or it's relative lack of context to the mystery of Spice, Dune is not the most friendly film for non-fans of the book.
That aside, this is definitely a voyage worth taking. It may even inspire you to seek out Herbert's other works in the series. Reading is super cool, and so are Dave Bautista and Jason Mamoa.
The Spice must flow! So sit back, avoid the oppressive desert heat with a Corona Light and don't make a deal with the treacherous Baron! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Capt. Cash are getting Spicy with the Freman!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – How was Villeneuve's much anticipated adaptation of the classic novel? (00:00)
The spoilers begin at 10:15.
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast hits us with some Spice to the eyes, and then we debate whether the ending of Dune's first chapter worked. (45:43)
The "Gom Triviar" Challenge – Our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA imbibe in the Baron's finest ales, and then Capt. Cash challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:05:59)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We begin "Hops and Attempted Franchise Flops" with the recently even more problematic The Lone Ranger! (1:13:37)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the extended lore of Frank Herbert's Dune and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Club Dread – Naughty Cal

Club Dread—Broken Lizard's follow up to Super Troopers—is a riff on 80s slasher films; and it boasts a cast of characters that are eclectic, dumb, horny, and ripe for the picking.
This, of course, is anchored by the Broken Lizard crew. There's Dave, the drug-addled DJ (Paul Soter); Putnam, the buttoned-up tennis coach (Jay Chandrasekhar); Sam, the chief of the Fun Police (Erik Stolhanske); Lars, the smooth-operating new masseuse (Kevin Heffernan); and Juan, the promiscuous dive coach (Steve Lemme).
Their characters here are wildly different from their respective turns in Troopers, and not all are created equal. There are a few swings and misses in the bunch. That is entirely forgiven, though, by the presence of Bill Paxton as "Coconut" Pete.
Paxton's Pete—a Jimmy Buffet-esque singer living out his days on his hedonistic vacation island—is just a treasure. The character is wonderfully realized. From album covers, to candid photos, to actual songs, the work the Broken Lizard crew put into crafting Pete is incredible. His vinyl greatest hits is actually available for purchase (I may or may not have bought it).
That performance owns the film and is probably responsible for why it's now a cult classic. Its need for that status is actually surprising. Despite the massive popularity of Troopers, Club Dread fell flat on its face at the box office.
On a budget of $8 million, it earned just $7.6 million. It was also diced up by critics. With 101 reviews, it sits at 29% on Rotten Tomatoes.
To hell with them, this movie is a bloody good time; so sit back, slug down one of Cutwater's Pina Coladas, and don't ask "Coconut" Pete to play Margaritaville! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Mayor McCheese are never gonna lose those tails!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – How does Broken Lizard's sophomore effort fare? (00:00) 
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast stops by for some drinking Pacman, and then we choose out favorite moments and lines from the film. (44:51)
The "Ponytails, Cocktails" Trivia Challenge – Our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA offer libations for the slain staff, and then Mayor McCheese challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:05:25)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We take a trip to Arrakis with Denis Villeneuve's highly anticipated Dune. Let the spice flow! (1:13:18)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the majesty of "Coconut" Pete's music and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

They Live – All Out of Bubblegum

They Live is a bonafide cult classic. And it works not only as a critique on rampant consumerism and Reagan-era economics, but also as a guilty pleasure action movie.
The premise is simple: Nada—played by "Rowdy" Roddy Piper—is awakened to the horrific reality the world is actually living in through the lenses of special sunglasses. That world is one run by an unknown alien race, who are bleeding humans dry and lulling them into complacency through the content they absorb.
Television, billboards, magazines, and even money all instruct people to do as they are told—to not think or have imagination. Carpenter's intentions are about as subtle as a Roddy Piper clothesline, but that doesn't make them any less resonant.
Even if you have never seen They Live, you have no doubt seen its messaging. OBEY, one of the subliminal missives the aliens feed to humans to keep them compliant, is just part of the pop culture zeitgeist.
Thus, despite earning just over $13 million during its theatrical run, They Live has lived on. And its conceit is just as relevant today as it was in 1988.
Now sit back, BUY some Bubble Farm IPA from Clown Shoes, and CONFORM to our collective sense of humor! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Mayor McCheese are here to chew bubblegum and kick ass ... and we are all out of bubble gum!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – They Live is a potent social commentary wrapped up in glorious 80s action. (00:00) 
Lingering Questions – Our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA ask you to DRINK 8 Hours, and then we rank the Carpenter classics to appear on the pod. (48:50)
The "OBEY" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast orders you to CONSUME more pro wrestling, and then I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (1:05:21)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We sip on some pina coladas with "Coconut" Pete. That's right, "Hops and Floptober" heads to Pina Coladaburg with Club Dread. (1:14:52)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—Carpenter's reflections on the movie and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!