Hops and Box Office Flops

Morbius – It’s Morbin’ Time!

Morbius is perhaps the most needless comic book movie ever made. Centered around a D-level Spider-Man villain, it lacks several crucial ingredients.
First and foremost, Spider-Man is not in Morbius. In fact, contrary to what the trailers will have you believe, he's barely even mentioned.
Thus, it's just a film about an anti-hero who's uninteresting. That would be fine if the plot, script, acting, action, or anything, quite frankly, worked.
Morbius is a mess. Both the titular vampire and his plot conveniently evil foil, Milo, are paper thin caricatures.
Milo, or Lucian played by Matt Smith, is bad because Morbius needs someone to fight. His actions, and that of the plot at large, have zero context. This looks, feels, and plays like a superhero flick from the early 2000s.
And the fact that it flopped twice doesn't bode well for Sony's burgeoning Spider-Man universe. It's reviews, equally appalling, don't lend much credibility to the prospect either.
Now, sit back, suck a Baby Shark IPA from Aslin Beer Co. dry, and dance shirtless without a care! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are morbin' as hard as anyone has ever morbed!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – The line between hero and villain will be broken! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we metaphorically stake this film in its hollow, black heart. (49:33)
The "Morbin's Time" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast throws synthetic blood into our eyes, and then Capt. Cash challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (59:12)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We finish off "Hops and Blood Sucking Flops" with Mel Brooks' Dracula Dead and Loving It! (1:09:11)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—how it fell on its face at the box office again and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Vampire in Brooklyn – Toothless

Vampire in Brooklyn is the antithesis of funny. Worse, it's not at all scary either.
When assessing who was involved in its production, neither of those statements should be true. Directed by horror master Wes Craven and principally written by Eddie Murphy (the film's star), the pedigree was there for it to be a comedic-scare fest.
Instead, it's a muddled and confused mess that too often borders on the offensive.
Murphy certainly attempts to run back some gags that worked in the past, but they're all half-baked. The whole exercise just feels lazy. Listeners, there's just no blood running through Vampire in Brooklyn's veins.
Hence its soft box office—$35 million worldwide on a budget of $14 million; and its abysmal reviews—12% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Now, sit back, sink your teeth into a Deftones Phantom Bride IPA from Belching Beaver, and remember that evil is good! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK) and Chumpzilla are just a couple of playboy vampires from the Caribbean looking to have a good time in NYC!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – A comic tale of horror and seduction! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we discuss what—if anything—from this film was funny. (30:54)
The "Evil Ass" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast arises after being buried alive, and then I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (35:42)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Blood Sucking Flops" with the much maligned Morbius! (43:44)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—Murphy's wig issues and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Gallow Walkers – Bladey the Kid

Gallow Walkers is wild west Blade, only if Blade was terrible and went straight to DVD.
With a $17 million budget, that probably wasn't the plan. But, shit happens and Gallow Walkers is indeed that unsavory term. It's sort of a shame because the movie isn't devoid of interesting ideas.
It just executes them poorly, is stuffed with an insane amount of backstory for a 90-minute film, and boasts costumes and sets that look to be straight out of a local theater production. And it doesn't help that the plot makes very little sense.
Wesley Snipes is Aman ("a man"), a drifter who roams the wasteland murdering Gallow Walkers (the undead, sort of). One problem: Anyone he kills comes back from the dead. What? Why? Well, his mom, who's a witch, made a deal with the Devil (?) after he was shot avenging the love of his life. I'm not making any of this up; and yes, listeners, in some awful corner of the multiverse, this movie would perpetuate itself until the end of time.
Anyway, this was filmed during Snipes' issues with the law, which resulted in it sitting on a shelf for years. It even features a fake Snipes doing VO exposition. As comically bad as that is, it's somehow not even the worst part of the movie.
Now, sit back, quench your thirst with a Dreamland American Lager from Rogue Brewing, and make sure to remove the heads of the dead! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Capt. Cash are filing Snipes' taxes to ensure this never happens again!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Live by the gun. Die by the gun. Come back for more! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we try to make sense of this mess. (26:42)
The "Whore of Babylon" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast gets resurrected after their Casket Match, and then Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (35:42)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Blood Sucking Flops" with Vampire in Brooklyn! (43:44)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—are there any—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice – Knuckle Bump

The Sorcerer's Apprentice is an ode to Disney's 1940 film Fantasia.
Born from an idea Nicolas Cage had, it builds an entire mythos from that brief section of the aforementioned film.
Balthazar Blake, Cage, is a sorcerer searching for the rightful heir to Merlin—his former master.
He was given a ring by the legendary wizard as he lie dying. That ring will signal the chosen one, who happens to be a bumbling nerd, Dave (played by Jay Baruchel).
Anyway, it's all fairly silly and dumb, but also decently fun. That is thanks in part to Alfred Molina's Horvath—the sorcerer who betrayed Merlin and Balthazar, aligning himself with the evil Morgana. The repartee between he and Cage is worth the hour and 40 minutes alone.
But alas, for critics, the dumb outweighed the fun. The Sorcerer's Apprentice, which reunited Cage with National Treasure director Jon Turteltaub, sits at just 40% on Rotten Tomatoes with 173 reviews.
Viewers failed to see its magic, too. They scored it a 53%. Thus, its $215.3 million box office isn't all that shocking. On a budget of $150 million, its failure to cast a sequel isn't surprising either.
Now, sit back, let your tastebuds conjure some magic from a Japanese Green Tea IPA from Stone Brewing, and don't touch anything! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Capt. Cash are firing plasma bolts and wearing our finest old man shoes!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – A job so great, it's magic! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we debate whether this film's fantastical battles reign supreme over similar competition. (52:24)
The "Primer Merlinian" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast gets locked in the Grimhold, and then Capt. Cash challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (59:51)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We begin "Hops and Blood Sucking Flops" with Gallowwalkers! (1:06:42)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the movie's inspiration and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent – Nic f’n Cage

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent is an absolute joy bomb for fans of Nicolas Cage. Playing a fictionalized version of himself, Cage delivers a top-tier performance. It should remind everyone that, to summarize his character in the film, he never really went anywhere.
This is as thoughtful and well written an ode to the long, winding career of Cage could be. He's able to channel his younger self; dive headfirst into the neuroses that defined some of his best work; and, all the while, he's not afraid to laugh at or embrace the more absurd aspects of his acting choices.
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent is a masterclass of comedic storytelling.
But, credit where credit is due: This film works as well as it does because Pedro Pascal's Javi is the perfect foil for Cage. Their chemistry is undeniable; they are both having so much fun that the film's title could fittingly be The Unbearable Weight of Massive Charisma.
On a budget of just $30 million, it should not be struggling to make its money back; so go see this movie! Like, right now! Come back to the podcast afterward and revel in the love we had for it. 
Now, sit back, chug a Schneider Aventinus Wheat Doppel underwater, and don't drive on acid! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and a special guest are embracing the Nouveau Shamanic acting method!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – First, we introduce our special guest, comic book artist Ryan Gutierrez, who discusses his soon to be released series Wesdeacon; and then, it's time to talk all things Nic f'n Cage! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we each choose which celebrity we'd like to have a shrine dedicated to. (49:37)
The "Nic Cage Smooches Good" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast uses the wax Castor Troy as a weapon, and then I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (1:14:11)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We finish "Hops and Cage Match Flops" with The Sorcerer's Apprentice! (1:24:51)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the deleted scenes and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Mandy – Chainsaw Fight

Mandy is an absolutely bonkers, psychedelic acid trip loaded with blood, violence, and raw nerve.
It's a tragic film—one where a man witnesses his beloved be burned alive by a religious cult. This action, of course, leaves him no other option than revenge. The brutality, though visually striking, is only a small portion of the movie's brilliance.
Directed by Panos Cosmatos—son of famed director George P. Cosmatos—Mandy delights in its 80s look and feel. It utilizes atmosphere, unique colors, and framing to build upon the disturbing world it forces upon us.
Mandy is unapologetically itself; and whether someone wants to be on that ride may depend on their tastes. This can be a hard watch and not just because of Nicolas Cage's Red slowly losing his mind or having to witness him scream into the void of agony.
There are visuals here that will stick with you long after the credits roll. This may be a niche, genre movie, but it is one that transcends that characterization. Critics loved it. With 250 reviews, it's a Certified Fresh 90%. And despite not grossing very much ($1.4 million) during its limited theatrical run, it is wholly deserving of its cult status.
Now, sit back, demolish a few a Devil's Harvest Breakfast IPAs from Southern Prohibition Brewing, and don't use any of that biker LSD! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Capt. Cash are fashioning the most metal ax in history to dole out some sweet and furious vengeance!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Like Jeremiah Sand, we come bearing a Message from the Mountain! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we discuss our favorite gore-tastic scenes from the film. (38:58)
The "Children of the New Dawn" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast survives a Chainsaw Match, and then Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:00:56)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Cage Match Flops" with The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent! (1:10:51)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—Jeremiah's folk music and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Willy’s Wonderland – It’s Your Birthday

Willy's Wonderland is delightful schlock.
An unabashed Five Nights at Freddy's ripoff, it stars Nicolas Cage as the Janitor—the silent protagonist who is stuck cleaning Willy's Wonderland to pay off a debt. It should come as no surprise that the titular establishment is not on the level.
In fact, its troupe of animatronic mascots are actually reanimated serial killers who committed ritualistic suicide before the authorities could apprehend them. Enter the Janitor. He's there to take out the trash, literally.
He is supposed to be the prey, offered to Willy's Wonderland as a sacrifice from the town. Instead, he is the predator, eliminating Willy's crew one by one in a variety of violent ways. And it is glorious. I mean, where else can you witness Cage using a plunger to assault a birthday mascot?
Now, sit back, bash open a Neon Rainbows New England Style IPA from Ommegang, and keep out of the air ducts! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are slamming Punch energy drinks and curb-stomping animatronic gorillas!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Let playtime begin! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we discuss whether any of us could survive the horror of Willy's Wonderland. (27:59)
The "It's Your Birthday" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast body slams Arty the Alligator, and then I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (38:30)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Cage Match Flops" with Mandy! (43:52)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—Cage's AMA and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Black Friday – Not Worth the Bargain

Black Friday is like if someone took Dawn of the Dead, Army of Darkness, and The Mist, threw them all in a blender, but somehow removed any of the ingredients that made those films so memorable.
Biting social criticism? Well, it is there; it just doesn't work. Humor and over the top, practical gore? Both are in far too short supply. Dramatic tension? Sorry, there are no real scares to speak of.
This one, folks, is dead on arrival. And even if it is available for a mega sale, it's not worth the bargain.
Somehow, though, critics did not eviscerate it like one of the insatiable mutants would an unsuspecting stock boy. With 19 reviews, it sits at 63% on Rotten Tomatoes. The public, however, wasn't buying it. They can smell a cheap knockoff. They land at a 35%. Seems fair to me.
Now, sit back, crack open a Galactica West Coast IPA from Clown Shoes Beer, and stay out of the Christmas Village! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are strapping on some roller skates to escape a horde of unruly and parasite-ravaged shoppers!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Don't let the holidays eat you alive! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we discuss whether any item could draw us out for Black Friday shopping. (23:43)
The "Suburban Savages" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast uses a toy truck as a foreign object, and then I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (37:02)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We start "Hops and Cage Match Flops" with Willy's Wonderland! (45:24)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Annihilation – It’s a Metaphor

Annihilation is based upon a 2014 novel of the same name. And it is director Alex Garland's follow up to his highly acclaimed directorial debut Ex Machina.
Like that title, Annihilation is much more than the sum of its parts. Certainly, it is a Sci-Fi film where a team of women head into the unknown, the Shimmer as its called, to identify the source of the invading entity. But that is just the surface.
Annihilation is also about marital infidelity and the cost our decisions have on the ones we love. The setting is more a metaphorical trapping for how such things irrevocably change us.
Yes, listeners, this is highbrow fare, and it mostly works. The Shimmer provides a haunting setting, one that tests our explorers in a myriad of ways. The deeper they journey, the more of themselves they lose. Plus, there's a gnarly mutant bear that wrecks shit.
Anyway, Annihilation, despite outstanding reviews, did poorly at the box office. It grossed just $43.1 million on a budget estimated to be as high as $55 million. It's unfortunate because like all good Sci-Fi, it's asking you to look beyond just what's on the screen. 
Now, sit back, indulge in a Triple Shakes from Hitchhiker Brewing, and don't watch that recording! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are battling our inner demons in the form of amorphous aliens!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – One way in. No way out! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we debate whether this should've flopped. (38:00)
The "T-Virus" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast has a tornado tag versus the mutant bear, and then Capt. Cash challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (49:19)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We finish "Hops and Pandemic Flops" with Black Friday! (55:55)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—Garland's next film and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!