Hops and Box Office Flops

Mars Attacks! – Ak Ak

Mars Attacks! is based upon a series of Topps trading cards released in the early 1960s. And it certainly pays homage to its inspiration.
Unfortunately, its also a narrative mess that fails to get the most out of its stacked cast. Mars Attacks! features an all-star lineup. It's got Jack Nicholson in two roles, Jim Brown, Joe Don Baker, Annette Bening, Glenn Close, Michael J. Fox, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Pierce Brosnan, just to name a few.
And, yes, their presence is felt, but outside of Nicholson, who's terrific as a Las Vegas Huckster and the President, they all have nothing to do.
That is the great failing of Mars Attacks! It wants to do a lot without really doing anything at all. It's all just empty spectacle—little green CGI men conquering a hapless earth.
Hence why it received middling to negative reviews—56% on Rotten Tomatoes with 86 of them—and was beheaded like an annoying chihuahua at the box office. On a budget of $100 million, Mars Attacks! raked in just north of $101 million worldwide.
The losses on that are enough to make a financier's head explode like a martian listening to Slim Whitman.
Now, sit back, disintegrate a Double County Double IPA from Dry County Brewing, and do not trust the martians! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Bling Blake are optimistic about still having two out of the three branches of government. That ain't bad!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Nice planet. We'll take it! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we discuss assess why this movie flopped. (36:14)
The "They Blew Up Congress!" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast pins a red skeleton, and then Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:07:12)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We finish "Hops and All I Want for Christmas Flops" with 1989's blatant Nintendo commercial, The Wizard! (1:17:09)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the current value of the cards and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

GI Joe: The Movie – At Ease, Disease

GI Joe: The Movie was meant for big things. Like Transformers and My Little Pony, it would be the property's big screen debut. The failures of those two prevented it from ever getting the chance, though. Even worse, it was meant to serve as a lead-in to the third season of the television show that, ultimately, never happened. Well, it sort of did, but far later and with a different animation studio at the helm.
Essentially, it's all a big "what if?", but if you love the toys, then the odds are good you will love GI Joe: The Movie. It introduces a host of new Cobra and Joe characters to enjoy and even builds upon the lore of how Cobra came to be.
Cobra-La, as silly and odd as it is, is visually interesting, and its central characters—Golobulus, Pythona, and Nemesis Enforcer—are all extremely cool. Throw in Sgt. Slaughter's Marauders, and you've got yourself a damn good time.
Plus, GI Joe: The Movie has a sick opening song set to a battle at the Statue of Liberty! It's a banger, folks.
Now, sit back, toast to America with a Space Camper Red Spectra IPA from Boulevard Brewing Co., and start your trek to the Slaughter House! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake were once men!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Fighting for freedom wherever there's trouble! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we discuss our favorite real American heroes. (32:47)
The "Yo Joe!" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast spars with Beach Head, and then I challenge the field to trivia about the cartoon series. (48:26)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue off "Hops and All I Want for Christmas Flops" with the Mars Attacks! (57:43)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the incredible toy line and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

RIPD – Here Come the Men in Flak

RIPD— the Rest in Peace Department—is based upon a comic of the same name. We're not sure about the source material, but the film is just a unabashed Men in Black ripoff.
There's the wisecracking rookie who's new to the job; and the crotchety old vet who's stuck with him. Their job is to protect the earth from monstrous spirits, or deados, who walk among them, avoiding their fate in the afterlife.
So, let's run this down. Secret government agency? Check. Young, quippy star? Check. Elder curmudgeon? Check. And plot that revolves around said agency protecting the unsuspecting public from a threat they have no idea exists? Check.
Thus, RIPD is just a 2013 version of a 1997 film, and in no way is that a compliment. Why? Well, because most of it does not work. And it's central elements are just grifted from better movies. The villain, played hammily by the great Kevin Bacon, is essentially just the budget Gozer from Ghostbusters.
With all that in mind, you can probably guess that this flopped and was buried by critics. On a budget estimated to be as high as $154 million, it earned a putrid $78.3 million. It's 12% on Rotten Tomatoes is also as moldy as one of the deados who's been hiding out on earth for too long.
Now, sit back, enjoy the after life with a Dead 'N' Dead from Rogue, and stay frosty! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and a special guest are hunting down evil Kevin Bacon in the mean streets of Boston!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – They're defending our world one soul at a time! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we all choose our RIPD avatars. (30:37)
The "Sounds Like an STD" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast handcuffs some deados, and then Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (49:29)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kick off "Hops and All I Want for Christmas Flops" with the GI Joe: The Movie! (58:27)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the direct to Netflix sequel and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Mystery, Alaska – The Mighty Yuks

Mystery, Alaska is a classic underdog tale. The small town who lives for hockey is thrust into the spotlight when given the opportunity to faceoff against the NHL's New York Rangers (those rascally Rags).
Starring Russel Crowe— who was at the peak of his leading man powers—as sheriff/defenseman John Biebe, the movie centers on the sleepy Alaskan town of Mystery. It's a place that takes pride in many things, but hockey is really its treasure.
Thus, when the opportunity arises for them to play the aforementioned Rags, the town is abuzz. Throw in some drama around old romances, unfaithful spouses, leaky locker room betrayal, and an old curmudgeon who needs a reason to love the game again, you've got yourself the recipe for a great sports film.
Unfortunately, those ingredients did not equate to critical or box office success. Earning just $8.9 million on a budget of $28 million, Mystery, Alaska was a flop. And being drubbed by critics—37% with 82 reviews on Rotten Tomatoes—was unwarranted and nastier than a crosscheck to the face.
But, fear not, Mystery, Alaska is well worth a watch; and over time, it has garnered a devout following. That is no doubt due to its charming cast, who all feel like an actual team. You just can't help, but root for them.
Now, sit back, high stick an Amber Alt-Style Ale from Alaskan Brewing Co., and keep your head up! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash and a special guest are skating the river to prep for our showdown with the Rags!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – A small town on the outskirts of greatness! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we debate which Mystery player would be the best hang. (23:39)
The "Saturday Game" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast wrestles the Goon, and then I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (54:37)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We finish "Hops and Heartthrob Flops" with the comic book disaster, RIPD! (1:07:50)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the recent cast reunion and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Necessary Roughness – Welcome to Foot ... Balls

Necessary Roughness is very much just Major League on the gridiron, featuring a ragtag group of footballers who must rise to the occasion in the face of great adversity. And it's 100% a 90s gem.
Necessary Roughness is sort of the sequel to The Program we never got. In it, the Texas State Armadillos are mired in scandals.
As a result, their team has all had their scholarships revoked, leaving the university to cobble together a team of never weres. Enter, Paul Blake, played by the remarkably handsome Scott Bakula. He's a long forgotten QB who sacrificed his shot at glory to tend to the family farm.
Alongside a crew of literal misfits—including a ninja, a war enthusiast, and guy who couldn't catch a cold—Blake must defy the odds. Oh, and since it's the 90s, he also has to fall in love. That's just science.
You'll laugh; you'll cry; and I'll make you a promise: If TSU gets into that end zone, you're going to feel no pain.
Now, sit back, root for your team with a Holiday Cheer from Shiner, and always go for two! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and a special guest are throwing bows at Billy Bob's with the a-holes from the Texas Colts!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – This gang of loners, loonies, and losers is about to become something they've never been before ... a team! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we debate who the greatest fictional QB of all time is. (24:51)
The "Iron Man Football" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast commits several personal fouls, and then I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (48:09)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Heartthrob Flops" with the comic book disaster, RIPD! (1:02:48)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the oral history of Necessary Roughness and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

True Romance – It’s White Boy Day

Written by Quentin Tarantino and directed by Tony Scott, True Romance is everything we love about the lawless ass 90s. It's unapologetically profane and violent, more than a bit dated, but also utterly rewatchable.
This is due in large part to its incredible cast. From Gary Oldman as Rastafarian pimp Drexl, to a pre-Sopranos James Gandolfini as mafia heavy Virgil, to Brad Pitt as stoner Floyd, this movie is overflowing with stars in the making. And those three are barely even in it.
That's how incredible this cast is. Christian Slater, who stars as Clarence Worley, and Patricia Arquette, who plays his love interest Alabama, are surrounded by top-tier performances.
From the opening, you could probably also guess that True Romance is exceptionally written and confidently directed. Thus, despite some of its more cringeworthy (i.e. offensive) sensibilities, this is a stroll down 90s memory lane worth taking.
Shockingly, though, even with strong reviews, True Romance flopped. It grossed just over $13 million on a budget of $12.5 million. Imaginary Elvis (Val Kilmer) does not approve.
Now, sit back, casually sip a Narwhal Imperial Stout from Sierra Nevada, and enjoy the Sonny Chiba marathon! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Capt. Cash are auditioning for the TJ Hooker revival. Wish us luck!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Not since Bonnie and Clyde have two people been so good at being bad! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we discuss our favorite performances and scenes from True Romance. (33:51)
The "White Boy Day" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast tags in, and then Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:06:57)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Heartthrob Flops" with Scott Bakula's 90s masterpiece Necessary Roughness! (1:18:48)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—how True Romance evolved and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Jason X – Jason Gonna Give It to You

Jason X was probably ahead of its time. In that, it deviates from the series traditionally serious horror roots, replacing traditional scares with unchecked campiness.
When it was released in 2001, people were not pleased. Critics didn't know what to make of it either, slicing it down to a paltry 19% on Rotten Tomatoes.
With a $14 million budget, a series high at the time, its $17.1 million gross was also box office murder.
Over time, though, its unapologetically goofy premise—taking the titular Jason Voorhees to space—has grown on people. It seems the less serious audiences take Jason X, the more fun they have.
And make no mistake, that is what Jason X is all about. Come for the gory kills; ignore the terrible acting and bafflingly cheap set; and stay for Jason turning into a futuristic version of himself, who bashes some horny holographic teens into a tree.
Seriously, it's glorious.
Now, sit back, carve the top off a Voodoo Ranger Xperimental IPA from New Belgium Brewing, and leave Jason's frozen ass on Earth 1! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK) and Capt. Cash are hiding in our sleeping bags! Wait ... is that a good idea?
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Welcome to the future of horror! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast wins the Cryogenic Chamber Match, and then we open the Super Slash Bros field for the ultimate showdown. (34:14)
Recommendations – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we offer our picks for the week and next up: We kick off "Hops and Heartthrob Flops" with True Romance! (48:02)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the legacy of Jason and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Critters 4 – Space Fur Balls

Critters 4 is was the second film in the franchise to go straight to video. And it continued the trend of shrinking the scale of the story being told.
Like Critters 3, which was set in an apartment building, Critters 4 confines its characters to a claustrophobic space station and gives them very few Crites to deal with. There are literally only two titular Critters in the movie.
That feisty alien duo isn't enough to generate sufficient kills or scares to make this an entertaining entry in the series. Thus despite bringing back franchise favorite Charlie, played as always by Don Keith Hopper, and boasting the talents of horror icon Brad Dourif and the queen of Wakanda Angela Bassett, Critters 4 is a lifeless venture.
The Crites just didn't have any bite left. So, sit back, curl up with a Wild Little Thing from Sierra Nevada, and don't trust Ug or his Tera Core goons! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Mayor McCheese, Capt. Cash and Chumpzilla are playing Critter kickball in Space!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – They're invading your space! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we assess who would reign supreme in Super Slash Bros showdown. (30:57)
The "Hungry Like Piranha" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast survives a Handicap Match with the Critters, and then I challenge the field to trivia about the series. (41:31)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We finish "Hops and Cosmic Terror Flops" with Jason X! (51:09)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the return of the insatiable Crites and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Leprechaun 4 – Irish Emmanuelle in Space

Leprechaun 4: In Space is about as low budget as a horror movie sequel can get. Released straight to video in 1997 and produced for a whopping $3 million, it gives most local theater productions a run for their money in terms of set design and costumes.
But, should we really expect anything else? Leprechaun 4 is the second of the sequels to be banished directly to video store shelves, and it further frays the series' strands of believability. Vegas sort of makes sense. But space?
Odd plot aside—which involves the titular fairy wooing an alien princess in the hopes of becoming king—Leprechaun 4 lacks most of the elements necessary for entertaining horror. It's not scary; the kills are mostly laughable; and the space ship effects appear to be ripped from an old Sega Saturn game.
Sadly, there's no pot of gold at the end of this rainbow. There's just a man sobbing as the Leprechaun claws his way out of his pee hole head first.
So, sit back, use your magic to conjure up a Guinness, and stop ogling the princess! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Mayor McCheese, Capt. Cash and Chumpzilla are crawling through the air ducts to escape the arachnid version of Dr. Mittenhand!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – One small step for man. One giant leap for terror! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, We discuss what, if anything, worked in this movie. (34:44)
The "Irish UTI" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast trains with Fit Finley to take down the Leprechaun, and then I challenge the field to trivia about the iconic series. (50:50)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Cosmic Terror Flops" with Critters 4! (1:02:23)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the legacy of the Leprechaun and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!