Listen on:
Episodes
Friday Nov 11, 2022
Friday Nov 11, 2022
Written by Quentin Tarantino and directed by Tony Scott, True Romance is everything we love about the lawless ass 90s. It's unapologetically profane and violent, more than a bit dated, but also utterly rewatchable.
This is due in large part to its incredible cast. From Gary Oldman as Rastafarian pimp Drexl, to a pre-Sopranos James Gandolfini as mafia heavy Virgil, to Brad Pitt as stoner Floyd, this movie is overflowing with stars in the making. And those three are barely even in it.
That's how incredible this cast is. Christian Slater, who stars as Clarence Worley, and Patricia Arquette, who plays his love interest Alabama, are surrounded by top-tier performances.
From the opening, you could probably also guess that True Romance is exceptionally written and confidently directed. Thus, despite some of its more cringeworthy (i.e. offensive) sensibilities, this is a stroll down 90s memory lane worth taking.
Shockingly, though, even with strong reviews, True Romance flopped. It grossed just over $13 million on a budget of $12.5 million. Imaginary Elvis (Val Kilmer) does not approve.
Now, sit back, casually sip a Narwhal Imperial Stout from Sierra Nevada, and enjoy the Sonny Chiba marathon! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Capt. Cash are auditioning for the TJ Hooker revival. Wish us luck!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Not since Bonnie and Clyde have two people been so good at being bad! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we discuss our favorite performances and scenes from True Romance. (33:51)
The "White Boy Day" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast tags in, and then Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:06:57)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Heartthrob Flops" with Scott Bakula's 90s masterpiece Necessary Roughness! (1:18:48)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—how True Romance evolved and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!
Monday Oct 31, 2022
Monday Oct 31, 2022
Jason X was probably ahead of its time. In that, it deviates from the series traditionally serious horror roots, replacing traditional scares with unchecked campiness.
When it was released in 2001, people were not pleased. Critics didn't know what to make of it either, slicing it down to a paltry 19% on Rotten Tomatoes.
With a $14 million budget, a series high at the time, its $17.1 million gross was also box office murder.
Over time, though, its unapologetically goofy premise—taking the titular Jason Voorhees to space—has grown on people. It seems the less serious audiences take Jason X, the more fun they have.
And make no mistake, that is what Jason X is all about. Come for the gory kills; ignore the terrible acting and bafflingly cheap set; and stay for Jason turning into a futuristic version of himself, who bashes some horny holographic teens into a tree.
Seriously, it's glorious.
Now, sit back, carve the top off a Voodoo Ranger Xperimental IPA from New Belgium Brewing, and leave Jason's frozen ass on Earth 1! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK) and Capt. Cash are hiding in our sleeping bags! Wait ... is that a good idea?
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Welcome to the future of horror! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast wins the Cryogenic Chamber Match, and then we open the Super Slash Bros field for the ultimate showdown. (34:14)
Recommendations – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we offer our picks for the week and next up: We kick off "Hops and Heartthrob Flops" with True Romance! (48:02)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the legacy of Jason and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!
Friday Oct 21, 2022
Friday Oct 21, 2022
Critters 4 is was the second film in the franchise to go straight to video. And it continued the trend of shrinking the scale of the story being told.
Like Critters 3, which was set in an apartment building, Critters 4 confines its characters to a claustrophobic space station and gives them very few Crites to deal with. There are literally only two titular Critters in the movie.
That feisty alien duo isn't enough to generate sufficient kills or scares to make this an entertaining entry in the series. Thus despite bringing back franchise favorite Charlie, played as always by Don Keith Hopper, and boasting the talents of horror icon Brad Dourif and the queen of Wakanda Angela Bassett, Critters 4 is a lifeless venture.
The Crites just didn't have any bite left. So, sit back, curl up with a Wild Little Thing from Sierra Nevada, and don't trust Ug or his Tera Core goons! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Mayor McCheese, Capt. Cash and Chumpzilla are playing Critter kickball in Space!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – They're invading your space! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we assess who would reign supreme in Super Slash Bros showdown. (30:57)
The "Hungry Like Piranha" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast survives a Handicap Match with the Critters, and then I challenge the field to trivia about the series. (41:31)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We finish "Hops and Cosmic Terror Flops" with Jason X! (51:09)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the return of the insatiable Crites and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!
Friday Oct 14, 2022
Friday Oct 14, 2022
Leprechaun 4: In Space is about as low budget as a horror movie sequel can get. Released straight to video in 1997 and produced for a whopping $3 million, it gives most local theater productions a run for their money in terms of set design and costumes.
But, should we really expect anything else? Leprechaun 4 is the second of the sequels to be banished directly to video store shelves, and it further frays the series' strands of believability. Vegas sort of makes sense. But space?
Odd plot aside—which involves the titular fairy wooing an alien princess in the hopes of becoming king—Leprechaun 4 lacks most of the elements necessary for entertaining horror. It's not scary; the kills are mostly laughable; and the space ship effects appear to be ripped from an old Sega Saturn game.
Sadly, there's no pot of gold at the end of this rainbow. There's just a man sobbing as the Leprechaun claws his way out of his pee hole head first.
So, sit back, use your magic to conjure up a Guinness, and stop ogling the princess! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Mayor McCheese, Capt. Cash and Chumpzilla are crawling through the air ducts to escape the arachnid version of Dr. Mittenhand!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – One small step for man. One giant leap for terror! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, We discuss what, if anything, worked in this movie. (34:44)
The "Irish UTI" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast trains with Fit Finley to take down the Leprechaun, and then I challenge the field to trivia about the iconic series. (50:50)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Cosmic Terror Flops" with Critters 4! (1:02:23)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the legacy of the Leprechaun and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!
Friday Oct 07, 2022
Friday Oct 07, 2022
Hellraiser IV: Bloodline is a typical late 80s/early 90s horror sequel; as in, it's a cash grab. Sure, it takes Pinhead and his Cenobite minions to space (sort of), but it has nothing truly unique to offer to the series' lore.
And the space element, which was so popular amongst fledgling horror franchises that we're dedicating an entire month to it, isn't even present the majority of the film. Hellraiser IV revolves much more around its subtitle, "Bloodline."
It chronicles the history of Lemarchand's Box, the puzzle box that unlocks the gateway to Hell, covering its original design by French toymaker Philip Lemarchand, through its ultimate use to lock the portal forever.
In between, we get the story of another of Lemarchand's descendants, an architect whose latest building is essentially a giant version of the 'Lament Configuration' or "The Box of Sorrows."
Of course, it wouldn't be a Hellraiser film unless the horrors of the box were unleashed, and they are in each era. But, sadly, for us, the viewers, the only thing that follows is the equivalent of cinematic torture.
Hellraiser IV looks and feels cheap; is devoid of scares; and isn't even so bad, it's actually fun. It's just plain bad. Certainly, diminishing quality is a hallmark of horror sequels during this era, but this thing is a total mess and not just because of all the guts it spills.
Anyway, Adam Scott is here as a horny Frenchman who's into the occult! So, sit back, sink your hooks into a Tank Dog Hazy Imperial IPA from New Realm Brewing Co., and stop fumbling with that godforsaken cube! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Mayor McCheese, and Chumpzilla are dancing with the devil and celebrating the fall of capitalism in space with Tim Curry!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – This year, the past, the present and the future will all meet at the crossroads of Hell! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast enters the Chamber of Horrors with Pinhead, and then we attempt to tackle the convoluted, era-spanning nonsense of Hellraiser IV. (46:06)
The "Jesus Wept!" Trivia Challenge – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the series. (1:04:42)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Cosmic Terror Flops" with Leprechaun 4. (1:18:11)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the best Cenobites in Hellraiser history and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!
Friday Sep 30, 2022
Friday Sep 30, 2022
Death to Smoochy is a black comedy about the ills of child television programming and its clear exploitation of kids for monetary gain.
The concept is ripe for the picking. Sadly, Death to Smoochy's execution of it is lacking. Neither funny, nor particularly compelling, its a movie devoid of all the essential ingredients of a good comedy. The characters—played at least with enthusiasm by Robin Williams as Rainbow Randolph and Edward Norton, the titular Smoochy—are generally unlikeable.
Randolph, who goes through a sort of awakening after losing his prime TV spot, just sort of sucks; and considering none of his self-reflection ever involves acknowledging he was fired for good reason, I'm not sure the point of it.
Throw in a needless and bizarre romance angle, multiple mob sub-plots, Jon Stewart's weird haircut, and a character whose brain damage is played for laughs, and you get one of the more mediocre enterprises of the early 2000s.
Hence why it flopped, earning $8.3 million on a budget of $50 million (Why was it that high?); and why it earned poor reviews, 42% on Rotten Tomatoes with 119 of them.
Anyway, there are a couple of good jokes. So, sit back, plot revenge while sipping a Brotherly Love Hazy IPA from Victory Brewing, and remember: Your stepdad isn't mean ... He's just adjusting! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are all auditioning to be backup skaters in Smoochy on Ice!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – It's a kids show... with gangsters, bribery, and corruption! (00:00)
Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast has a Tornado Tag versus Smoochy and Rainbow Randolph, and then we discuss how a Robin Williams movie could be so unfunny. (32:16)
The "It's a Rocket Ship!" Trivia Challenge – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, Capt. Cash challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (39:46)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We begin "Hops and Cosmic Terror Flops" with Hellraiser IV: Bloodline. (51:10)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—history of taking kids entertainment to the ice and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!
Friday Sep 23, 2022
Friday Sep 23, 2022
47 Ronin is a Hollywood-sized retelling of a famous Japanese legend. It's full of mystical CGI beasts and absurd witchcraft. Why? Who the hell really knows, but apparently the executives wanted something in the vein of the Hobbit movies.
Yes, a recurring theme on this pod is that too often the people running the studio let their bad ideas seep into the product. 47 Ronin did not need a monstrous budget to be captivating. The actual history is interesting enough. It's more an indictment of American audiences to think authentic Japanese history wouldn't capture their attention.
Anyway, when you spend close to $225 million on what should be a straightforward tale of avenging samurai, it's a good bet you won't recoup your costs. It's also safe to assume that an abundance of fantastical nonsense will distract from the heart of the story.
Both of these ended up being true. The core ronin sadly take a backseat to a silly, nonsensical romance subplot and over-the-top green screen.
Hence, when 47 Ronin committed metaphorical seppuku at the box office, grossing a puny $151.8 million worldwide, they had no one to blame but themselves. Critics were just as unkind. With 90 reviews, it carries a 16% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Is it truly that bad? Not really, there's some fun to be had; but the strains of it being pulled by the competing visions of the director and the studio are painfully apparent.
So, sit back, pop the top on a Hitachino Nest White Ale, and beware of what lurks in the Tengu Forest! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK) and Chumpzilla—with katanas in hand—have vowed to avenge our fallen lord.
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – There is a legend of 47 warriors who seized eternity. (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we discuss who was the better samurai, Keanu Reeves or Tom Cruise. (30:49)
The "Die with Honor" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast is thrown into the pit to survive, and then I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (42:36)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We conclude "Hops and Star Powered Flops" with Death to Smoochy. (52:19)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the true story behind the legend and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!
Friday Sep 16, 2022
Friday Sep 16, 2022
Disney's Prince of Persia was a bold endeavor. With a $185 million price tag, it shattered the ceiling for video game adaptation budgets. The House of Mouse made a bet, and it was a big one.
Unfortunately, it was also a bad one. The Prince of Persia franchise is popular, but general audiences have rarely flocked to movies based on games. Thus, despite it being the most successful of the bunch—grossing $336.4 million worldwide—its receipts weren't enough to warrant a sequel.
Poor reviews, 37% on Rotten Tomatoes, coupled with a soft domestic opening, under $91 million, doomed its franchise prospects.
What it's really remembered for, though, is its bizarre decision to cast Jake Gyllenhaal as the titular Prince of Persia. In fact, the majority of the major players are white, rendering this just another tone deaf Hollywood endeavor.
Now, sit back, uncork a Pumpkin Ale, and hop on an ostrich! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are rewinding time to nudge the casting director for this film in a more appropriate direction.
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Defy the Future. (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we discuss what wrong with this movie—whitewashing, of course. (36:43)
The "Sands of Time" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast does some parkour to warm up, and then Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (51:50)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Star Powered Flops" with 47 Ronin. (59:36)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the odd demand for a sequel and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music and more!
Friday Sep 02, 2022
Friday Sep 02, 2022
Gangster Squad never equals the sum of its parts. Featuring a stacked cast—Sean Penn, Josh Brolin, Ryan Gosling, and Emma Stone, to name a few—it's never more than a middling mob flick.
And that's a problem. Why? Well, there are dozens of films in this genre, many of which capitalize on their premise far more than this does.
Gangster Squad is essentially a 21st Century Untouchables without any of the style or substance that made that movie so great.
Thus, despite strong efforts from the aforementioned cast, the material is never elevated. Hence why critics hated it, 30% on Rotten Tomatoes with 207 reviews; and audiences avoided it. On a budget of $75 million, it grossed just over $105 million worldwide.
One wouldn't move up very high on the ladder of underworld henchmen with those sorts of receipts.
So, sit back, peel the cap off a Blah Blah Blah IPA from 21st Amendment Brewery, and live dangerously in the City of Angels! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, Mayor McCheese, and Chumpzilla are putting together a team of unflappable lawmen to take on the mob.
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – You lose everything and you win the war, you're a hero. You lose everything and you lose the war, you're just a fool. (00:00)
Lingering Questions – After a word from our brothers in beer at Hop Nation USA, we discuss the exact moment Sean Penn believed he'd win the Oscar for this. (37:26)
The "Alcatraz" Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast rumbles in a Chinatown "Street Fight," and then I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (58:19)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue "Hops and Star Powered Flops" with the woefully miscast Prince of Persia. (1:08:39)
And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the controversy with the film's first trailer and more—from this week’s episode!
You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music and more!