Thursday Mar 21, 2019
The Last Stand – A New Sheriff's in Town, But It Ain't Arnold
From 2003 to 2011, the action world mourned. The King—Conan, John Matrix, the T-800—had officially relinquished his crown. The fabled Terminator had transitioned to Governator. Instead of hunting down Sarah Connor with no remorse or reservations, he was balancing budgets and removing soda pop from school vending machines.
In the halls of my house, those were dark days. A cinema landscape sans-the hulking presence of Arnold Schwarzenegger was not one I wanted to experience. But then, he returned. His term was up; it was time to come home—to return to the industry that had made him such an American Dream success story. His big comeback vehicle: The Last Stand, a homage to old school westerns that featured Arnold as a grizzled sheriff who’d do anything to protect his turf. On paper, it looked like a can’t miss equation. Arnold, an escaped cartel boss, a showdown with longs odds in the middle of a desert town, and bullets by the dozen: What’s not to love?
Sadly, though, things had changed in his years as a public servant. The action movies of yore had given way to a new breed of spectacle. Super Heroes were the champions of the day. *Movies rife with computer generated effects lorded over those that brought a more grounded, gritty feel. The once iconic, muscle-bound everyman couldn't hold a candle to the fantastical feats of those with powers that defied imagination.
Thus, with Arnold set to appear in his first starring role in 10 years (since Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines), the chips had been stacked against him, and it was an obstacle he could not overcome. Despite having historically survived shootouts and throwdowns where the odds were almost never in his favor, he could not best the shifting dynamics of the box office. The Last Stand, decently reviewed and a hell of a good time at the theater, was a bomb. My heart still weeps.
Regardless, it’s a film I recommend with enthusiasm, so sit back, grab a beer, and enjoy as I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), and the Irate Lover take you to the sleepy streets of Sommerton Junction, a place where you best not mess with the sheriff!
As always be sure to check our Twitter (@HopsandBOFlops) for notes from the show—trailers, factoids, and other fun links.
*This is a theme we also explored when Jurassic Park devoured Last Action Hero at the box office. Listen to that episode.
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