Hops and Box Office Flops

Furiosa – Remember Us

As a follow-up to the masterful Mad Max: Fury Road, Furiosa had a tough road to hoe. It mostly lives up to those lofty expectations, but it also suffers from the same ills that plague most prequels.
We essentially knew the titular Furiosa's story. It was told brilliantly through the performance of Charlize Theron. Seeing it fully realized onscreen, as beautiful as it can be, doesn't feel entirely necessary.
This only ends one way; we've been privy to that. In the end, your left to wonder whether it would've served this universe better to see what comes next. Why drudge up the past?
Critics and audiences, those that actually saw it, loved what Furiosa had to offer. But that aforementioned question must have weighed on the general audience's mind. Grossing more than $200 million less than its predecessor, Furiosa lost a lot of money for WB.
It may not have felt necessary, but it certainly deserved a better fate than that.
Now, sit back, trade some guzzoline for a Sabre-Toothed Squirrel from Smog City Brewing, and top off your blood bag! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are all shiny and chrome! Witness us!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Fury is born!
Lingering Questions – Where does this rank in the Mad Max saga? (33:32)
The "We Have Become Half-Life" Trivia Challenge – The Thunderous Wizard challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:00:49)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Flopbusters with the slick spy flick, The Man from UNCLE! (1:13:25)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Battleship – Sunken Sailors

There was a time when Hasbro envisioned a cinematic universe. Battleship was a cog in that misguided wheel, an expensive one at that.
Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately for all us movie goers, Battleship sank before it even hit the seas.
Critics and audiences alike found little joy or interest in a $200 million dollar blockbuster based on a slow-paced board game.
To be fair, they were all correct. Battleship is a slog of a movie; and its nonsensical plot cannot be saved by the bombastic effects and action. Odds are that within minutes, you’ll be sending an SOS to your TV to find something more entertaining.
Now, sit back, arm your tastebuds with a Blind Pirate Blood Orange IPA from Monday Night Brewing, and don't promise any late night snacks if you can't deliver! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are sinking alien ships and dropping super cool one-liners — mahalo mother f%$&er!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – The battle for earth begins at sea!
Lingering Questions – Did their silly attempts at incorporating the game work? (25:20)
The "Chicken Burrito" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (49:58)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue Flopbusters with the long-awaited prequel to one of the greatest movies ever made, Furiosa! (59:42)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Batman Forever – Holy Bat Nipples

Batman Forever attempted to course correct the Caped Crusader's big screen adventures after its predecessor, Tim Burton's Batman Returns, was deemed too dark.
Swapping Burton for Joel Schumacher in the director's chair, the film certainly has a different feel than Returns. It trades the dark and moody Gotham for a more campy, neon soaked one.
That change may have led to greater receipts at the box office, but it hardly equated to a quality film. Batman Forever isn't without its charms, but it is also a tonal wreck, whiplashing between introspective musings of what it means to be Batman and the Two-Face/Riddler comedy hour.
It's no wonder than that its star, Val Kilmer—who stepped in for Keaton—wanted no part of a sequel. Judging by our Batman & Robin pod, he made the right choice.
Now, sit back, find the courage to fight crime with a Shiner Black Lager from Spoetzl, and don't over kung-fu your laundry! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are joygasming all over Gotham!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Courage now, truth always, Batman forever!
Lingering Questions – Were the critics and fans too hard on this one? (31:59)
The "I'm Going Rock Climbing this Weekend" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:05:57)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We celebrate the summer movie season by kicking off our series dedicated to big time blockbuster flops. First up, the board game boondoggle that sunk with critics and audiences, Battleship! (1:16:38)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang – Ike, Mike, and Mustard

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is a fantastic neo-noir that is carried by outstanding lead performances from Robert Downey, Jr. (RDJ) and Val Kilmer.
Written and directed by Shane Black, it is a film that thrives on its witty banter, sleek visuals, and intricate plotting. Ok, that latter bit can sometimes be a bit convoluted, but that doesn't detract from the repartee.
Kilmer has never been better than he is here. And RDJ capitalized on his exceptional performance as Harry Lockhart to catapult back into the mainstream. Yes, he's that good in this.
Sadly, this movie didn't fare nearly as well at the box office as its spiritual successor, The Nice Guys, nor did it ever get the sequel it so richly deserved.
Now, sit back, choke down a Rowdy Peach IPA from Sweetwater Brewing, and avoid peeing on the corpse! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are investigating the untimely and mysterious death of Proto-Cop!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Sex. Murder. Mystery. Welcome to the party!
Lingering Questions – Why didn't this revive Kilmer's career the way it did RDJ's? (36:24)
The "Johnny Gossamer Thriller" Trivia Challenge – The Thunderous Wizard challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (1:10:50)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We conclude our tribute series for the great Val Kilmer with the campy, caped classic Batman Forever! (1:26:02)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

The Island of Dr. Moreau – This is a True Record of What We Saw

The Island of Dr. Moreau has the ignoble distinction of being the only movie to appear on this podcast twice. But, to be fair, the first episode was in dire need of further conversation.
Thus, we've gone back to the island with all manor of misfit mutants. As we suspected, the film remains just as bizarre as ever. Like the ill-fated experiments of the titular doctor, The Island of Dr. Moreau itself is a Frankenstein's monster.
Hurricanes, clashing egos, and an emergency director swap (that's not even the half of it) all ensured that this would be just as odd offscreen as it was on. And believe us, all the on-set discord shows in the final product.
Yet there is something unexplainably watchable about this movie. Val Kilmer is at his campiest, and Marlon Brando saves what would be a dull affair with his flair for the absurd.
Watch it and wonder how it even exists at all.
Now, sit back, mutate your mind with a BajaJack Salted Lime Lager from SanTan Brewing Co., and go on two legs! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are hunting, killing, and running with the pack!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – On the sixth day, God created man. On the seventh day, He rested. And on the eighth...!
Lingering Questions – Is this movie good-bad or just plain bad-bad? (30:32)
The "I've Seen the Devil in My Microscope" Trivia Challenge – The Thunderous Wizard challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (49:11)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue our tribute series for the great Val Kilmer as we tackle the modern noir classic Kiss Kiss Bang Bang! (58:55)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Real Genius – We Love Toxic Waste

Real Genius was Val Kilmer's second big screen appearance. His first, Top Secret!, we also covered on this podcast.
Like that one, Real Genius is a tremendous showcase for his immense acting talents. This is a truly great 80s comedy, propelled by the infinite charisma of Kilmer as brilliant slacker Chris Knight.
It doesn't hurt that William Atherton plays his despicable foil Professor Jerry Hathaway. Atherton just excels at playing an asshole. Thus, as Knight relishes in making a fool of him, the audience can't help but laugh.
Alas, Real Genius is on this pod for a reason. Despite being a cult classic now, it fared poorly upon its release, grossing $13 million on a budget of $8 million. Thankfully, people smartened up, cementing its rewatchable status over the years. 
Now, sit back, get inspired with a Space Food from Warped Wing Brewing Co., and fill out those entries for the Frito-Lay sweepstakes! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are unwittingly building murder lasers for the government!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – When he gets mad, he doesn't get even... he gets creative!
Lingering Questions – Best Chris Knight one-liner? (24:42)
The "Long Series of Distractions" Trivia Challenge – Bling Blake challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (45:23)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue our tribute series for the great Val Kilmer as we head back to The Island of Dr. Moreau! (1:03:19)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Road House – Gator Bait

2024's Road House is surprisingly watchable, even if it pales in comparison to the original. Jake Gyllenhaal does a serviceable job as Elwood Dalton—the bouncer with a penchant for violence but a heart of gold. And the general premise of a man who busts up bar fights for a living is still wildly entertaining.
Where this one stumbles is the odd use of CGI to make the fights appear more "brutal." It's often distracting and offputting. Not distracting enough, though, to make you forget how bland and boring Billy Magnussen's villainous Brandt is. He lacks any semblance of the sleaze Ben Gazzara brought as Brad Wesley.
Honestly, and it is baffling to type this, the movie is kind of saved by the ludicrous performance of Conor McGregor. He may be high as hell on blow, but he definitely understands the assignment.
Now, sit back, get belligerent with an Orange Blossom Pilsner2 from Orange Blossom Brewing Co., and take it outside! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are brokering shady real estate deals in the Florida Keys!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – We thought this would be better ... and bigger! (0:00)
Lingering Questions – How much of the budget went up Conor's nose? (24:16)
The "Double Deuce Restaurant" Trivia Challenge – Chumpzilla challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (38:11)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We kickoff our tribute series for the great Val Kilmer with Real Genius! (48:50)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

The Crow – Drowning in Demon Goop

The Crow for a long time was considered a property that was untouchable. The tragedy of Brandon Lee's passing during the making of the 1994 film immortalized his portrayal for fans.
Although there was zero interest in the property being formally rebooted—there were three sequels and a TV show—the studio soldiered on.
They even ignored all the signs that it probably wasn't meant to be. The Crow's path back to the big screen saw multiple directors sign on and off, and a myriad of lead actors come and go.
By the time it finally happened in 2024, the fans couldn't even be bothered to hate watch it. The Crow, with a box office around $24 million, was one of the bigger flops of the year. This despite having a rather modest budget of just $50 million.
Reviews were just as scathing. Critics made it clear The Crow was better off staying dead this time around, excoriating it with a 21% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Now, sit back, free your soul with a Grateful Dead Juicy Pale Ale from Dogfish Head, and quench your thirst for vengeance! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are looking for the exit in this weird purgatory warehouse!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – True love never dies! (0:00)
Lingering Questions – Did this do anything better than the 1994 classic? (32:32)
The "Crow will Guide You" Trivia Challenge – The Thunderous Wizard challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (47:24)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We finish off our Wretched Remakes series with 2024's Road House! (1:00:02)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Total Recall – Requesting a Rekall Refund

2012's Total Recall lacks the bizarre charm of Paul Verhoeven's 1990 film. Substituting Mars for dystopian earth, the movie ultimately feels like just any other action movie.
Whereas the 1990 version was full of oddities, one-liners, and gore galore, this Total Recall is just a bland, PG-13 wannabe. What it lacks in personality and style, though, it does make up for with a few kinetic action scenes and solid special effects.
Those, however, were not enough to save it from the critics' wrath. At 30% on Rotten Tomatoes—compared to 82% for the 1990 version—there wasn't much behind the spectacle to warrant a recommendation. Fans agreed. Thus, with a gross of $211.8 million on a budget of $125, audiences clearly felt this trip wasn't worth taking.
Now, sit back, shake the memory fog with a Super Fun Hazy Hop from Paperback Brewing, and get your ass to the Colony! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are dreaming of better days on Mars!
This Week’s Segments:
Introduction/Plot Breakdown – What is real?! (0:00)
Lingering Questions – Which Arnold movie would send us over the edge if they remade it? (30:47)
The "Fall Enslaves Us" Trivia Challenge – The Thunderous Wizard challenges the field to trivia about the movie. (53:46)
Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue our Wretched Remakes series with The Crow! Yes, the one everyone hated. (1:07:20)
And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!